|Reviews for Frozen Rain|
| kakumeimei chapter 2 . 1/5/2008
Considering I'm a sucker for any fairytale involving a princess and her love life, the first chapter had me hooked. I'm really quite curious to see how this turns out! Please keep up the lovely work!
| AuraMistress chapter 2 . 12/22/2007
Interesting start to your story. I look forward to reading more. :)
| Cerulean Crystal chapter 1 . 12/19/2007
i like it. it's nice. please update soon.
| tenaciousD chapter 2 . 12/17/2007
UPDATE! update! UPdate!
| tenaciousD chapter 1 . 12/17/2007
Nice narrative! Like it so far. I got the Oceanos thing too! Just clicked right away! lol
| FF8fan chapter 1 . 12/15/2007
GAH! I love it! Just the beginning chapter, and I'm, already hooked major!
| Emerald-Latias chapter 2 . 12/15/2007
To be honest, I found the present-day narrative to be rather weak in comparison to the fairytale's narrative in the first chapter. There are a couple of things which need to be pointed out.
1. Capitalization and Punctuation - If you want to emphasize intonation in a character's speech, do so using italics and bold, not multiple question marks/exclamation points and/or all caps. That makes the character come across as juvenile regardless of what is being said. Think of it this way. Have you ever seen such a convention in a real book? Most likely not.
2. Real World Items and Crossovers - This the FF8 world, our books/movies can't exist in this world because the people responsible for making those things don't exist in this world. Now the crossover aspect may be just my personal pet peeve, however, try to limit the amount of characters from other games you have in a FF8 fic. Past a certain point, you're bound to run into some problems with having too many characters. Having original characters to fill roles isn't a bad thing just as long as caution is exercised to make sure they're realistic and not 'flawlessly perfect'.
3. Flow, Plot and Characterization - Although I can see Selphie as a matchmaker and Rinoa blowing off blind dates, I felt that the whole chapter was far too rushed on many levels. It was 'too perfectly' set up, if you know what I mean. A Squinoa (or any other romance for that matter) is only as good as the build-up leading to their initial meeting and when you cut the chase and hand the meeting 'event' on a silver platter like that, you're sacrificing the half the fun right then and there. Cliffhangers and other fan-torturing devices are there for a reason.
As for the narrative, I have one simple guideline for you. Show us, don't tell us. Things are more effectively conveyed if they're shown through actions and not being told as facts. The whole Rinoa analyzing what success was and the nerd thing were big no-nos.
Also, if you have a character with a specific profession, make sure they're acting appropriately within the profession given their personality. What I'm refering to is the whole pendant dialogue and history nerd thing. Teachers shouldn't openly say stuff like that and there should be a teacher-student dynamic. You had them acting buddy-buddy instead. Always think to yourself, 'have I ever had a teacher act like that with me?' and that should be a general guideline for interactions like that. The same applies for personal interactions too. That whole Seifer talking about MSM thing sounded like a phony infomercial.
As for the characters themselves, you might want to brush up on their personalities via a game script or something. Most of them were a bit off.
Anywho, I hope this wasn't too harsh. I take reviews very seriously so went I see the need for constructive criticism, I write what I think is necessary.
| Ebony et Ivory chapter 2 . 12/15/2007
just wondering...is Irvine going to be in this fic? I love him so I'm concerned. Anyway, like it again so far! My finals week is also next week, so I'm there with yah. lol please update soon
| Ebony et Ivory chapter 1 . 12/15/2007
CUTESY! Hope you update this soon!
I'd be waiting!
| MoonShadow Angel chapter 2 . 12/15/2007
i like it! please update soon! My finals are already here but I'm still reading you! ;) *kidding
| regenerate chapter 2 . 12/15/2007
Yay! You updated! I love how you including subtle hints that other Final Fantasy characters are in it. Like Balthier..-drools- And Yuna, and the Abes. So kewt. Keep up the lovely work.
| AfghanTemplar chapter 1 . 12/14/2007
Hey girl! (Looks up to NAME-I haven't got the slightest idea why I picked that name) Anyway, sorry got too lazy to log-on. But since you've been bugging me, HERE YOU GO!
I like the story so far, and I have to agree with everybody who says that it is too short. And OCEANOS? Isn't that cute? You got RAINE, SQUALL, TIDUS and now you drag the OCEAN too! Wakekekeke...
Damn! The holiday truffles have been given away already?
| ayaka chapter 1 . 12/14/2007
hi! i love the fairytale story going on...its a little too short though. But its just me! Keep writing please!
| regenerate chapter 1 . 12/14/2007
I like it! -hops up and down-
| JayLiyah chapter 1 . 12/13/2007
You changed your name! XD Despite that, it's great to see you active here again!
So, I'm pretty excited by this prologue. I can't help but think that the plot will be full of twists and turns, and I'm anxious to see where you'll take this. The fairytale is very original and a bit sad, btw, so kudos for that. I'm keeping my attention on this story, so all the best!
And I'm so happy to hear that 'Cinderella' will be continued! Looking forward to reading it again. ;D