|Reviews for Existence|
| Wolfone10 chapter 7 . 5/9
IF you HONESTLY think about it, canon makes no sense.. IF naruto was trained by the fox, which seems the most likely scenario considering it's sealed in him.. then wouldn't the fox train him to be IMMUNE to the things that beat it before... sharringan, moutoken... It's kinda SELF-PRESERVATION, it'd teach naruto how to shrug them off, OR it'd teach him seals to make him immune. since it's kinda got Mito, Kushina and Minato's memories... THREE SEALING MASTERS... Also I don't think it would WAIT so long, I mean consider it, it's ALWAYS with him, Sarutobi for some dumb ass reason waits till the chunnin exams to even begin to properly train him (kakkash is a JOKE, WORTHLESS AS HIS PINK EYE). Naruto, is a POWERHOUSE of chakra.. SCREW teamwork, and SCREW taijusu, they are WORTHLESS, he should have been loading up the boy with so many jutsu his head exploded... PLAY TO STRENGTHS! Taijusu?.. What he Hits someone where they weren't expecting it?.. SO WHAT?.. Kabuto, orochi, akutski, CARE about that? YOUR dead before you get the chance. Having naruto physically practice and try taijusu is a WASTE OF TIME. Who cares if he can bench press a tanker truck?.. It's not going to help him. The heroes of the story need to know THEY ARE OUT OF TIME! No.. "well later".. or "he'll be portent when he gets older.." they no longer have that luxury, he needs godhood NOW!
| Wolfone10 chapter 6 . 5/9
Naruto seems UNUSUALLY FOND of sleeping in this one ya know? In the canon he can barely get 4 hours a night or sometimes none at all FOR WEEKS! With that much chakra (especially in this story) sleep should be something he gets almost NONE of EVER. Also if the fox taught him all these jutsus (as you stated earlier), why doesn't he USE any of them? You know the old saying "use it or lose it" don't ya? ALL he does is spam clones (AGAIN) *yawn*... He's even got a BOOK detailing the jutsus of HIS CLAN! It makes no sense that a "jutsu junkie" like him wouldn't at least TRY them..Instead he'd rather SLEEP.. ANYONE (even a COMA patient) can SLEEP for heaven's sake! His system should be so jacked up with yang chakra that sleep should be IMPOSSIBLE unless he's at death's door. And if he does THAT daily, then he should be a LOOOOOOOOOOT more powerful then he is (remember everytime he gets close, he gets a MAJOR power-up) If he's been doing it for YEARS he should be able to rip orochimaru APART the first time they meet! (but since most authors don't like doing that for some reason, I doubt he'll do that).. TECHNICALLY orochimaru isn't all that important. (except to gay-sauce... So if you cut duck-ass from the story, orochi becomes redundant)... Technically, you could have the third die to danzo, hyuuga treachery, smoking too much, a heart attack, in a fight with garaa (thus also fixing garaa's seal by using the "dead demon summoning") a kumo attack, sealing up Itachi because he jumped the gun on coming for naruto(my personal favorite), The sound 5 in retaliation for crushing the invasion plan. AND that's just off the top of my head, orchi and sasuke just ARE not that important to the series, easily replaced.
| Wolfone10 chapter 5 . 5/8
You DO realize that negji can't POSSIBLY have the byakugan going ALL the time, EVERY TIME he meets up with naruto right?.. Prolonged use causes eye-strain, then PERMANENT BLINDNESS. (hinata gets the first in canon). Which is why ALL of them keep turning it on and off, even in fights. Besides exactly what is he hoping to see THIS second, which he HASN'T any OTHER time he's had them on in naruto's presence? Talk about "beating a dead horse". (You know one of the definitions of insanity, is "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result").. Also if naruto really was a demon? Common sense says "everyone in the village would already be dead".
| JSemillano chapter 18 . 2/20
i love the story but i feel like its getting boring to read esp. the 5 last chapter .. sorry
| Guest chapter 4 . 10/24/2015
Wat tha fack? Half the things you wrote for those fights didnt even make sense.
| stepay1216 chapter 18 . 4/1/2015
Please finish this story to many great ones like this have died
| MythicGR66 chapter 9 . 9/7/2014
Konoha is closer to to Kaminari no Kuni (land of lightning) than Nami no kuni (land of waves), it's half the distance
| kiba's girl chapter 18 . 4/9/2014
fuck all i said before! what do you mean by
1:not finishing this fanfic
2:making naru-kun leave the village
3:not letting him be closer to hina-chan
4:leaving shika-kun & hina-chan in the village
WHAT THE FUCK?!
| kiba's girl chapter 7 . 4/9/2014
i felt like hinata bitch-slapped me. THAT HAD TO HURT NARU-KUN! poor guy!
on a brighter note i love this story so dont beat up :)
| JRecon chapter 18 . 10/19/2013
I'm actually really liking this story...we most of it just seems like it been on one big downward spiral since the exams with no hope of bright side at the end of it, still gonna hope it all turns out all right in the end if only because theres no tragedy tag included in the summary...theres gonna be hell to pay if Anna dies. Anyway good job with this and your other stories really like NLSC keep it up.
| JRecon chapter 1 . 10/18/2013
this seems interesting nice job.
| Publicola chapter 18 . 9/5/2013
Ergh. On the one hand, I really like your writing, and the plot continues to fascinate. On the other hand, the events and characters in this fic are *really* annoying. I've already aired my grievance with Anko, but now I'm bothered by how useless Tsunade and Jiraiya are acting, and how much authority they seem to be deferring to the council. (Also, minor quibble: wasn't ROOT forcibly disbanded after the last major war? While it does exist in canon after that point, I don't think they'd be talking about it freely unless Tsunade has completely thrown in the towel as far as being the head of the village goes). I hope you continue this fic, mainly so someone would find bury the idiot ball and fix the issues at stake here.
| Publicola chapter 14 . 9/5/2013
Perhaps you can clarify something for me: exactly when did Naruto start worrying that his chakra would be corrupted by the Kyuubi's, and when did Anko and/or Sarutobi find out about it? I'm inclined to say it was after meeting the 'demon boy' in his mindscape, but it might have been after the first mission to Wave, though I don't recall when Anko got involved. Either way, though, it really feels like another idiot ball moment to have a ninja like Yamata capable of teaching control over demonic chakra, and only have him actually involved in teaching Naruto at this point, so late in the fic.
| Publicola chapter 12 . 9/5/2013
What the hell? Naruto was an inch away from killing Orochimaru, and Yamato decides to stop him? Yeah, he has the power to subdue the Kyuubi... so wait until the arch-nemesis is defeated before you do! Granted, Naruto's indulging in the idiot ball a bit with the whole "Of course I won't tell anyone, or seek help, or figure out a way to avoid losing my soul to a literal demon," but I don't particularly understand the harm in letting Orochimaru bite the big one before you strap the Kyuubi in a strait-jacket. Besides the exigencies of plot, but that hardly works as an in-universe explanation. So, yeah, kinda annoyed with certain characters right now.
Also, Anko dragging a year-old infant into a bar? Certainly it's not out of character for her, but why didn't Naruto try getting childcare from, I don't know, any other person living in Konoha? Why give the kid to *her* of all people? Doesn't seem like terribly responsible parenting. Maybe that's just because I thoroughly dislike Anko in this fic, as I do in canon. Yes, she's helping Naruto, and yes, she's understandably damaged from her past and trying to work through that, but still. Frankly that's my least favorite element of this fic, mainly because I can't tell if you're trying to write a crack!fic due to how extreme her character is, or if you're going for a gritty, angsty-ish story with a crazy sensei.
Besides that... great work! No, seriously. Anko's been an ongoing annoyance, and certain parts of this chapter really bugged me, but everything else about this fic has been working beautifully. Keep it up.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/26/2013
WoW that was nice