|Reviews for An Uneventful Death|
| Amrun chapter 1 . 4/22/2010
This is an interesting premise. I would have liked to have seen the characters' reactions to it and how they carried on after his death.
| VickyVicarious chapter 1 . 3/26/2010
I... like this. It's obviously not a -happy- fic, but it's not over the top about being sad, either. It's very, sort of low-key, like the actual death in the fic; nicely done, that. I like it, too - Naruto's death that is, because... Well, because it was very true to his character, and the scene following - Itachi and Kisame watching quietly, then turning and leaving - was done excellently. That poor kid though.
This is really well done; I encourage you to keep writing.
| Kitsune Heart chapter 1 . 3/23/2010
Hm...I like it. Given that it's a first fic, it's quite good. You have great descriptive abilities. I especially like the lack of spoken words. It was very well-suited to the style. There are a few puzzling bits, like the red eyes, but I suppose those are the foreshadowed portions you mentioned.
| Italiangurlinamessedupworld chapter 1 . 3/2/2010
That was really good. Great description.
| Mastering My Life chapter 1 . 2/2/2009
excellent. I loved it
| Taeron chapter 1 . 10/14/2008
It's. Just. So. Depressing.
Yet, so fitting. If you thing about it. You would expect Naruto to die in the act of saving someone. I think this story pretty much defines what Naruto. Even if it kills him.
My only complaint comes from a merely Canon perspective...
Simply, Kisame and Itachi's mission is to take Naruto alive, I get the feeling that Itachi would have moved to intercept Naruto. Knowing of the boy's healing abilities, I would think he would move to intercept the boy's fall, knock him out, and run.
And then of course, there's the Kyuubi... what is the possible correlation between the child and the Kitsune... hm, I sense great potential for future chapters/sequel. Kinda reminiscent of dead man walking, except instead of being condemned to die, Naruto is actually dead.
But, I must say, excellent.
| KaboomingKitsune-LookWhoBlewUpTheToilet chapter 1 . 8/25/2008
Pretty much awesome...
| Reaper Nanashi chapter 1 . 2/18/2008
Guh. I dislike sad stories, but I read them anyway.
The title is strange; it doesn't inspire much curiosity in the reader at a first glance, but once one reads the fic it turns out to be very appropriate. The short introduction was spot-on-it set up the rest of the ficlet well. It was oddly suspenseful, though the "This is how it happened…" sounded slightly . . . contrived? Inexperienced? Something. It just seems to have cost about four dollars less than the rest of the fic. Personally, I think that altering the sentence just before it a bit would have given it more bite, but however you prefer it is fine.
I assume the little girl was a henge'd kage bunshin of Itachi's, but my question then is: What about Kyuubi? Itachi was supposed to retrieve Kyuubi-all of Akatsuki was-so why did he kill him and then not do anything further? Not that it really matters, I suppose, since it was from no one person's perspective so motives would be less clear, but it was one of the first things I thought of.
As for continuing, it's totally up to you since this could definitely stand alone. And the linebreaks . . . it depends on precisely WHAT kind of trouble you're having. If it's just a matter of centering the breaks between lines, then I recommend double-spacing the first line immediately following the breaks. It'll look ugly, but when you save it it'll eat the empty space (sometimes this effort needs to be repeated several times. That has to be done every time you edit, so I generally don't put them in until I am most assuredly ready to post. If it's anything else, I don't have any ideas.
Overall, this is very good work. Considering that it's centered around a battle, it's an oddly quiet story-not desperate or fierce, just matter-of-fact. It perfectly matched the title and the intended focus of the piece.
| Fresh C chapter 1 . 1/2/2008
Not bad at all for a first fic. You took an idea and stuck with it, writting in enough detail that it felt fleshed out. Though I haven't read much of any Naruto fics, the idea seemed original enough. I liked how instead of going for the grandiose end-all-be-all type plots that most beginers go for (and generally fail at) you stuck with a more understated feeling, that struck home in its simplicity.
I'd say if you keep at this, you'll probably writting some pretty fine fiction in no time. I'd just suggest that you keep your mind open to new ideas, never sink into the hole of predictability, and don't be afraid to experiment with different writing styles. Good luck.
| LittleMana chapter 1 . 12/17/2007
It takes no genius to recognize that you, my dear, operate at a higher level of writing than the majority of writers on this site (Ahem. No offense to anybody else, of course). The details were exquisite and the plot was chilling. You've got a lot of potential. I look forward to seeing more of your work one day.
| smith119 chapter 1 . 12/17/2007
Wow, just... Wow.
I'm not sure that death can be classified as "uneventful" but I suppose in the grand scheme of things it could be classified as such. I mean, after the death nothing major happened as it usually would in the series. Mizuki dies, Naruto learns about the Kyuubi. Zabuza and Haku die, Naruto discovers the realities of the ninja world... the list could go on and on. But for this death ,the death of the main character, there are no dramatic speeches or anything like that... each side simply gets up and walks away. Things are looking very promising, I do hope you decide to expand upon this OneShot.
It doesn't show at all
| Tama Saga chapter 1 . 12/16/2007