Reviews for Illegitimate Love
nikki nein chapter 3 . 11/4/2019
oi natsu (sasuke) and gray (naruro) calm the hell down. its not a race to see who has the best insults
nikki nein chapter 3 . 11/4/2019
there is one option run away and hope her father doesn't find you and want to murder you with Sakura and Hinata and lee and Neji also
nikki nein chapter 2 . 11/4/2019
doctor: are you sexually active

me: uh

mom: seductively* ma-Kun I want you

little sister: onii-san be gentle
nikki nein chapter 2 . 11/4/2019
why would you think its gai. you must have some crazy weird fantasies
nikki nein chapter 1 . 11/4/2019
nah naruto, if ypu want a real challenge go against cana with her barryls of alcohal
Guest chapter 12 . 8/17/2019
Reads to the end of the chapter

Me:"it's official I hate you with a fucking burning passion!"

*Cry's in corner for the next minute*
MiharuTousaka chapter 13 . 8/13/2019
I thought you were trying to pull a fast one on us and I was like “I’m not gonna fall for this! I’m not!” And then, just, this. *sobs* I wanted to see their happy ending~~!n ;
Capten Pissoff chapter 1 . 8/12/2019
Uhh? I'll make this quick because I don't feel like writing a review.

I'll be blunt and straightforward. Some of your ideas are cool, and your plot/narrative decisions are also admirable. I mean, killing off one of your story's MC's that also happens to be one of the most popular characters on this site; that takes balls.

I guess I should also compliment your steady grammar and mediocre syntax, It's not shit and therefore readable, but it isn't stellar. Honestly it's sad we need to praise people for something so basic and fundamental, but on this website, it's a miracle to find a legible story, nevermind well written.

Unfortunately, that's where the praise comes to screeching halt, because honestly, it took a lot of effort to come back and read this.

I guess I'll talk about my biggest issue with your writing and that's your character writing... why is everyone in this fucking "story" of yours so goddamn violent! I mean for Christ's sake the first thing Tsunade thought of doing to Naruto after confronting him was violently beating him to unconsciousness! Then you write it in a way that tries to present this ass kicking as somehow justifiable and warranted. Towards Naruto! Naruto of all people!

What were you getting at? How's is this in anyway justifiable? Is it that due to Tsunade's deep connection with Naruto that she feels the need to teach him some kind of vague lesson about [insert reason] through an ass-wooping? Is it that perhaps Tsunade feels inclined to help Tenten because THEY have a deep connection or some shit?(silly, I know). I ain't sure what exactly you were trying to convey with that scene, or if this was all just a comedic gag cuz Tsunade likes to beat Naruto-like characters (ie: Jiraiya), but you failed miserably cuz it wasn't clear.

But you know what? I can attempt to suspend my disbelief, this is Tsunade after all and even if a bad ass kicking like that should be utterly unlikely, it's slightly feasible (the rationale would have to be tenfold more valid). But why? Why of all people is NEJI the one to snap like an emotional ridden dickhead?! These are warriors that solve their issues through combat, I get it, but they're also SHINOBI, meaning they have (atleast should) paramount control over their emotions, and this goes tenfold for a HYŪGA like NEJI! Why is his response to just go out guns blazing and attempt to KILL Naruto. Naruto of all people! I guess what you and many other writters don't understand about Neji and Naruto's relationship is that by the time he died, the Hyūga teen had a lot of respect and admiration for Naruto, for not only helping him out of his "fate is everything" craze, but for helping both Hinata and himself with his infectous positivity. They traded blows before and they've come to understand each other infinitely better than a fuckton of other characters. Naruto and Neji are really, really, good friends. The fact that in your fic Neji attempted to MURDER (your words btw) Naruto because he jumped to the bizarre and ridiculous conclusion that Naruto somehow forced himself on Tenten is absolutely absurd. These events were not only an offense to Naruto and Neji respectively, but to the bond they had built. (All of this shit applies to Lee too btw)

Now I don't know how to feel about this because I understand the difficulty in writing it but; what the fuck is up with everyone's thoughts about Naruto? I get that they all have a teasingly mean attitude towards him but at the end of the day they care about him deeply, and they show frequently. You don't seem to do that though. Everyone's attitude towards Naruto honestly makes me feel sick. The entire Rookie 12 and other character's (including but not limited to Tsunade) behavior towards him always feels mean spirited, rude, over aggressive, and honestly even a little hateful. Almost every character seems to refer to him as an idiot, treat him like dirt, but then sweep it all under the rug with praise about his kind heart or some shit. It's contradictory af and Tenten seemed to do it a fuckton.

Anyway, this story had a solid foundation with a cool idea, but your absurdly weak character writing was such an absolute turn off that I couldn't bring myself to do more than skim the chapter. This story is an overall turd.
Guest chapter 13 . 7/25/2019
I love this story so much. Your such a amazing writer
Red.cloud.Yura chapter 1 . 7/23/2019
Why, why did you kill her. You could at least set him up with the Ame chick later on. To show how hard Naruto fell after tentens death. I think it would be better than Hinata. Naruto forgives everyone for everything, so why not forgiving her the poisoning of tenten.
Guest chapter 13 . 5/20/2019
But...tenten...DAMN YOU, YOU MADE ME ALL EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED AND SHIT, AND THEN KILLED HER, I'M A FUCKIN GROWN ASS NAN AND I CAN'T STOP CRYING, GODDAMNIT
Guest chapter 6 . 5/20/2019
Yes, punches of the Falcon
Fererer chapter 13 . 5/19/2019
You fucking sick genius, livin happily while i cry for this story
corydrake chapter 13 . 4/1/2019
Why you do this? I was crying my eyes out finishing this story. Great story though, one that had me far too emotionally attached
AcidESP chapter 13 . 2/20/2019
good story, although the epilogue felt a little loose, but it's your story, hehe, a greeting, congratulations, see you, bye!
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