|Reviews for Fractured Stars|
| Guest chapter 4 . 8/20/2017
This is the best fanfiction I've read you need to continue!
| Tyler chapter 1 . 1/4/2017
Great so far! I thoroughly enjoyed the first Stars Fall On Palett Town and I am happy to say that this is just as good if not better! Great job!
| CaandyyCat chapter 5 . 10/14/2016
I like it, but where is the AAML?
| Guest chapter 15 . 8/1/2016
Ya know its kinda sad reading this in retrospect this was made in 2001 a year before anybody knew misty was leaving the show so while love this story it crushes me what the author didn't know what was coming next. At least ash and Gary made up in the actual show
| SaoirseParisa chapter 9 . 5/16/2016
Yeah, I expected Ash to completely flip out at the idea of having to go to Gary's. I wonder why they couldn't just recommend that they stay at Professor Oak's lab? I mean, it's close by, and Gary doesn't technically live there, and all of Ash's Pokemon are there, so that'd be a better alternative. I actually find myself siding with Ash here, even though I can somewhat understand what Delia and Jay are trying to do...and I already know this isn't going to end well. Good chapter, though!
| SaoirseParisa chapter 7 . 5/16/2016
Yeah, I'm seeing Ash be really selfish here. At least Jay and Delia got to go to the movies. Another good chapter.
| SaoirseParisa chapter 6 . 5/16/2016
I feel kinda bad for Delia and I can relate to her plight. I haven't had any boyfriends nor do I ever want any, but I can definitely agree with wanting to spend time with that special someone and wanting for free time to do so, only for something to unexpectedly pop up and completely throw everything out of whack. With my being autistic, that always irritates me to no end. Another good chapter as always!
| SaoirseParisa chapter 5 . 4/7/2016
Yowch. I actually kinda feel bad for Ash here, getting himself in all those messes and Brock and Misty not doing anything to help. Some friends they are.
| SaoirseParisa chapter 4 . 4/7/2016
This was a good chapter. At least Ash acknowledges what he's done here. But...I do find it a little hard to believe that a ten-year-old kid would refer to his mom as Mama. Usually he always refers to her as Mom. But that's my only nitpick about this chapter. Everything else is great!
| SaoirseParisa chapter 3 . 3/4/2016
I'll admit, as much as I like Ash, he's coming off as extremely selfish here. He forces his friends to come with him to Pallet Town, almost gets himself run over by his father's car, and his mother cancels the reservations she had with Jay just so she can stay with the kids, basically forcing Jay to stay with them as well. While it's true that Ash didn't know they already had plans, so I'll agree in that he couldn't help arriving at a bad time.
However, I have to wonder why Brock doesn't take charge and watch Misty and Ash while Delia and Jay go out to have dinner? Brock is very capable of watching the house and rowdy kids, since he has many brothers and sisters, and he's obviously very trustworthy. Had Brock stepped up a bit, Delia and Jay would have gone to their dinner reservations without incident, that way they could spend their evening together. I honestly find myself sympathizing more with Jay here than Ash, and considering Ash is the main character, that isn't exactly a good sign. But then again, this story is also complete, so my complaints are pretty much moot.
Not exactly one of your better chapters. But for all I know you might have rectified it later on, so I'll shut up now.
| SaoirseParisa chapter 2 . 2/2/2016
I have to admit, as much as I understand Ash wanting to be with his parents, and I can relate since I've gone through my fair share of long separations from my own myself, I do think it's rather selfish of him to want to go home and expect his friends to drop everything and go with him. They made it to Goldenrod City after all that traveling, and all of a sudden he wants to go home? When they're super far away from Kanto? Yeeeeeaaah, I think Ash is a bit too selfish here. But I'll still read this. Your writing style is very good.
| SaoirseParisa chapter 1 . 2/2/2016
It's kinda funny you start off with a scoliosis joke, because when I was young, about eight or nine or so, I actually did have scoliosis as a result of carrying too many textbooks in my backpack all the time. But now my back's normal and healed since then, and I never had to wear a back-brace, so I'm good on that front. I'm gonna read the rest of this!
| shonal chapter 6 . 4/17/2015
does this story even have pokeshipping or not?damn you if it doesn't...
| MilkywayScribbles chapter 15 . 4/28/2014
So here is my long over due review for "Fractured Stars"! :) I sincerely apologize for the delay because I really did enjoy this tale!
Where to start? Let's see... Well first off, I immensely enjoyed the premise of this story. After reading "Stars Fell on Pallet Town", we all know how much Ash wished to bring his parents back together, and thankfully he did! ;) So now we are seeing the affects from it as you introduce it in the beginning. It's only natural Delia and Jay want to rekindle their loved and have time alone, Ash missing his dad and ending up neglecting the chance to earn another badge, and I really appreciate how you delved into this right away. Jay clearly needs and wants to make up for the lost time with his son, however, it seems difficult when he's trying to also balance having a relationship with his wife again. And it only gets better from there!
As bad as I felt for seeing Ash kind of get pushed to the side, you understand his parents acts were not intentional and/or hurtful ones and that they genuinely needed time together. Though of course like most kids, they don't always understand. And I think Ash would struggle with accepting and understanding that he can't always be in the picture. That his parents need their time as a couple, and then their time together as a family. And Ash wasn't used to that for a while, seeing it always had been he and his home. Plus in the first few seasons, we do see Ash very much wanting to be the certain of attention or to be involved in things, so I think you hit it right on the mark for him wanting to do everything with his folks. It was very ten to twelve year old Ash! :D
You also did an excellent job showing how it all spiraled out of control and the affect it had on everyone in the house. Especially them sending him off to Gary's for an evening right when things are starting to become more intense. Boy was that a nightmare! But who could really blame the kid for being angry? Delia and Jay did deserve a romantic evening to themselves, however, they missed the fact that Gary and Ash were already on bad terms thanks to Gary's harsh words about Jay. Then poor Ash comes home and has that big awkward confrontation with Jay. Yikes! This chapter in particular was one of the best, and the ones following after it made the story progress with such awe. :)
But of course even after Jay and Ash's big blow up, we all know the boy is not unwanted by either of his parents. The aftermath in itself really held my interest, and the overall big misunderstanding between Jay, Ash, and Delia. Like I mentioned before, Ash is at an immature stage still in life so I think it would be possible for him to runaway and feel unloved by his parents. ESPECIALLY after Jay's freakout. Though it's clear once Ash leaves (poor thing! I wanted to just reach through the screen and hug him), that Jay realizes what he has done and feels responsible for the entire misunderstanding. Brock and Misty communicating to Ash's parents that he feels unwanted and their overall reaction was very much in accurate. From what I've read of Jay and Delia's overall character, it's obvious they love Ash dearly and feel horrible for the entire mess like any caring parent would.
Though what really stuck out in this story was the apologies exchanged between son and father. Jay searching for him with such determination and finding Ash was the most powerful point the fic, and I think you handled it all quite well. Like you always do! It was all so heartwarming and sweet, and then the darkness of Jay's mistake and explaining it to Ash was also a nice touch. Ash deserved to hear the whole truth, and in a way, it made Jay grow as a character as he confronted his wrongdoings in front of his son. And I think it also brought closure between the two. Their conversation was well done, and I could tell you gave it thought. Bravo!
As we all know, bringing a family back together is a huge undertaking, and you did an wonderful job shedding light on that throughout this story. The Ketchum family will not be torn a part again! Thank you so much for writing this, Spook! Overall, it was an emotional and successful story. _ I enjoyed reading it more than I can say. Definitely a favorite of mine now.
| SuperGenX chapter 3 . 3/18/2014
Ohh... Halfway through the chapter... I think I see where this is going.