|Reviews for NaughtyNice|
| LW12 chapter 1 . 11/11/2013
it was great, so sweet and cute
| JP1124 chapter 1 . 1/4/2013
Great 1 shot
| Ninja chapter 1 . 12/30/2012
| Star chapter 1 . 9/28/2012
You can't tell a woman is pregnant RIGHT AFTER HAVING SEX...why do so many people assume this...
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/27/2012
cant tell a pregnancy that fast.
| iamashleydawn chapter 1 . 5/28/2012
That was literally one of the worst stories I've ever read. Kim didn't even sound like a real person, she just sounded like some sex robot. Definitely not true to her character's speech at all. You cannot find out if you're pregnant within 12 hrs as they apparently can...
Not to mention, I doubt you've actually EVER had sex. More than likely you've read a lot of other fanfics and tried to make it sound like you were experienced. That was a terrible sex scene. Thirty minutes of straight making out without a break? Not possible. Fifty minutes of straight sex before Ron just decides to give up and call it a night? Not likely. This is his first time, he's going to last a maximum of 10 or 15 minutes, and no way does he give up without finishing. Same with her... your details were terribly written, and it felt like I was watching some really really bad porn rather than what an erotic holiday fic, which I assume was your intention.
Before you EVER write another sexy fic... do yourself a favour and either squash that notion, or GO OUT AND ACTUALLY HAVE SEX! Jeez... At the very least, get a much more experienced beta to tell you that your details are crap and have them re-write parts for you.
On a scale of 1-10, I'm giving you a 1 because negative numbers aren't on the scale...
| Daki92 chapter 1 . 10/3/2011
Good story, surprisingly erotic
| Avaira chapter 1 . 7/31/2011
I liked your story, though it is impossible to know by the very next morning if you are pregnant or not. It takes a week or two at earliest to know. Lol I guess Ron obviously gained some money, as that is quite a ring to give to someone while you are in college. And are they ready to raise a baby while still students?
But even with these concerns, I thought your story was cute. My favorite part was when you described how they were having fun and rolling around in the sheets.
| VivaNewVegas chapter 1 . 3/17/2011
Such good writing. Some hell of a birth test though that tells your within 24 hours though... Good story. Nice writing. Lotsa love going on... In more ways then 1.. Good read.
| EnterpriseCV-6 chapter 1 . 9/26/2010
is a squeal in the making or a add-on because this is a really good story so I hope you will either add on or make a story where Kim and Ron's families hear about what happened between Kim and Ron AKA the two love birds
| buddygirl1004 chapter 1 . 6/22/2010
very good! but she cant no the next day if ur pregnent, other than that ver good!
| LadyBeri chapter 1 . 1/9/2010
| Katsumara chapter 1 . 9/6/2009
So my review on this is a tad late. D: Sorry! Either way, this was just fantastic. You handled the sitch, the mood.. the everything just perfectly. Way to go!
| Ghostface317 v2 chapter 1 . 7/29/2009
Good story. What about a sequel featuring their Wedding & their Baby?
| Rye-bread chapter 1 . 7/4/2009
I’m looking at this like a parent. And reading between the lines. They have their own place-together. No doubt MrDrP grumbled over that one. I would too
But they waited at least a while. So it’s not like they’re not another typ unwed teenage couple, still living with their folks. And judging by the rock he’s giving her, they’re set financially. Sounds like he’s still getting residuals from the naco royalties
I wish them all the best. It’s a tough world out there-even for the girl who can do anything.
And not to sound like I’m harshing too awful bad-a sweet tale of holiday marital love.