|Reviews for chapter 1|
| DarkLordStormageddon chapter 1 . 7/15/2012
Just saying, but Violet is an orphan.
| jadeluvhenry chapter 1 . 12/24/2011
WOW, THIS IS REALLY GOOD! PLEASE WRITE MORE!
| silverflight8 chapter 1 . 5/29/2009
Not to be rude, but this doesn't really have much to do with the Boxcar children. I assume that 'voilet' is Violet, so that means she has two brothers and another sister, and both her parents are dead. Furthermore, the book was written for children...you might have noticed it's not very violent. Other than that, please clean up the spelling and grammar (believe me, your writing will be taken a lot more seriously).
Good luck; keep writing!
| Lily chapter 1 . 4/7/2008
Add more that was good, so please add more.
| Yemi Hikari chapter 1 . 2/4/2008
It is a good start ... though it seems that it may be more of your own fiction then to have anything to do with Boxcar Children. If that is so, post this on the sister site to this site.
However, if this is supposed to be about Violet and your imagining yourself from Violet's point of view, she has three other siblings and their parents died in the first book. They live with their grandfather now.
Which is why I think that this is your own fiction, not a Boxcar Mystery Fanfic. The only thing that so far is related to the Boxcar Children is the name Violet, which is mentioned only in the summary and the genere, mystery.
While this is a good start, here are a few suggestions. One is to write this not from the perspective that you yourself are the character, but that you are seeing it like one sees in the Boxcar Children Books.
Second, use more discription. For each sentence you have here, turn it into a paragraph. Expand on it. Even if this is not a fanfic, but your own fiction, do this. Currently, as good as the story line is, it is still in rough draft form.
Third thing, have some one check your sentence flow. Possibly someone who has had more experience with writing. They may be able to help you extend this some more.
| Maggie chapter 1 . 2/2/2008
PLease continue. but why did you kill the mom?
| lauren chapter 1 . 1/31/2008
weirdo. that is a strange chapter.
| liz chapter 1 . 1/23/2008
i luv this chapter. cant wait tell the next chapter. i wonder what happens. i hope the strang women doesnt kill the girl.