|Reviews for A Christmas To Remember|
| Purest of the Hearts chapter 1 . 11/17/2013
*sheads tears of happiness*
| Babbit chapter 1 . 11/26/2008
Overall, I thought the storyline was well written and throughly supported. Details were vital in progression of story. I've written a few notes about your composition. They might seen like a lot, I wouldn't have done it if didn't care about your writing.
Used 1/2 width
Line 2: needs a simile or metaphor describing the snow on the ground, little dry
Line 5: use words that infer the sense of being terrified instead of just saying it
Line 7: time stood still?
Line 9-10: “walked slowly to the entrance of alley” grammar check
Line 10: what kind of boy? mean looking or lonely looking?
Line 12: “The meow way pitiful” changed to “slouching in pity, I could only muster enough for the howling wind to carry away”
Line 5-6: “He looks up at the boy I followed in as he enters the room.” grammar check
“The boy I followed in says.” little dry, changed to “the little blonde haired boy remarked”
[“Edward, she was cold and wet and shivering. If I throw her out now, she’ll surely die.” The boy I find out to be Al says, picking me up.]
-verb tense shift choose either past or present
Eighth Paragraph: clever comedic break
Line 9: “the light quickly puts me to sleep, and Ed ends up same as I soon after.” confusing word usage
Paragraph 12-13: unexplained time gap… little confusing
| Bar-Ohki chapter 1 . 12/22/2007
AWW! KITTIES! *hugs* You are so wonderful!
| Yondaime Namikaze chapter 1 . 12/22/2007
So cute! I'm just like Al. If I saw a poor kitten out in the snow, I'd pick it up too. Ed's reaction was a cute comparision to the show. I look forward to reading some of your other stories. Merry Christmas!
| Kalez chapter 1 . 12/22/2007
Aw. So cute.
| The Sora-muffin chapter 1 . 12/22/2007
This is so cute! I love it!
| Sapphire225 chapter 1 . 12/22/2007
That is just too cute! A nice cute Christmas story. Which only makes me want a dog more for Christmas.