Reviews for Alternate
o-banana chapter 2 . 2/19/2008
Eragon is an ass.

...That is all.

Srsly, he is what ruined the entire book for me. Well, that and the abysmally unoriginal writing and cliches abound. But, you know. Same diff.

Bottom line? You pwn Paolini to the ground. The End.

(I hate that you haven't updated this in forever! Do it do it do it do it... oh, and I don't supose it would be too much to hope for some EragonxMurtagh crack!slash, would it? -puppy eyes-)

Much love!

o-banana chapter 1 . 2/19/2008
I'm so glad to meet someone who hates Eragon as much me, I could just CRY.

Seriously, the entire time I was reading the first book, I was going "bit off Tolkein", "bit off Tolkein" "-SNORT- Elves, HAH." and "Oh dear god, no more! I can't take any more!"

So... um... yeah. I only read the first book, though it took me great pains to finish it.

This made me giggle insanely. Like, you seriously have no idea. If I started quoting all the funny lines, I'd be quoting the entire thing. -ish serious-

And you're right, love, you never do know with elves... just look at Legolas, for crying out loud.

Much love, I shall be awaiting an update! Write, slave! Write more now! -cracks whip-

Right, so, I'll just be going now. Don't mind me and my Tylenol-induced ramblings. :]

AnnaFrancesca chapter 2 . 1/5/2008
XD This is certainly... different P It's very funny though, post more soon ]
Burugla chapter 2 . 12/31/2007
Told you I was gonna read it. Great work(as always). I liked Keith, hehe, funny buggar. And the whole "poke his(Eragon's) eye out with an arrow"-part made me wonder: Wouldn't it have been awesome if Eragon was a real poindexter with humungus glasses? Hehe.. And unless Paolini's original is as awesome as your version (which I seriously doubt), I'm going to stick with yours. Good luck with the rest.

And one more thing, about Hiss-person's grandma... now, I'm wondering if the Shade looks as bad as I think he does, imagine the rest of his family:P
Lady Charity chapter 1 . 12/23/2007
Amazing! You had me cracking up. Love the parts:

"So far, he'd fatally injured four trees."

“After her!” screamed the Shade through the darkness, “she is the one I want!”

You weren't supposed to mix business with pleasure.

And also the part with the elf description. Your humor is witty and subtle, the kind I like the very best. I showed this to my sister, and though she had never read Eragon, laughed out loud. Commendable job well done.