|Reviews for Alexandra Quick and the Thorn Circle|
| GentleSoul76 chapter 8 . 7/30
Love the story so far! Alexandra's personality especially is interesting, though of course the other characters are quite interesting as well.
A few tips though:
Twins aren't completely the same. I hate when people use this trope, as I am an identical twin myself, and though there are some things that are the same about my twin and myself, our personalities are vastly different.
The whole "back and forth" speech, might be okay I guess, so long as you remember that Constance and Forebearance are separate people and not attached at the hip, and can therefore, speak independently of each other.
I find that some authors use this "back and forth" speech too much in case of the Weasely twins without ever bothering to give them distinctive personalities.
Something that can give an impact on your writing but which I don't see you using much is the form of using a single sentence in one paragraph to give things more of an impact.
Alexandra awoke to an eerie silence inside her dorm. Anna slept soundly, Charlie was quiescent in his cage, and even Angelique's jarvey across the hall was silent. The room was dark, and in the light of the moon the shadows seemed to writhe and twist in the darkness.
Then, Alexandra heard a sound, and a snake of fear went down her spine.
It sounded like claws clicking on brickwork.
It sounded like a very, very big magical creature coming toward her.
Alexandra, heart beating fast with either fear or bravery, took a moment to assess her options. She grabbed her wand. And went to wake Anna.
Now, that's just one example, and not a very good one unfortunately. But you get the gist of it.
Also, being a handicapped person myself, I find myself appalled at the school's bus being called a short bus.
Was it really necessary to call it a short bus? Especially since all the neighborhood kids made fun of her for getting on it, with not one person defending her/saying "this is wrong"?
Alright, that's it for now.
Hope this helps/is constructive in any way!
| Mattymichelmore chapter 1 . 7/26
| hallo chapter 29 . 7/16
Well then! This was a very good Year One. I had no idea what I was getting into, but enjoyed it very much! Will keep reading.
| RS chapter 10 . 6/5
I'm really wanting to like this, but the main character is such a brat and so unlikeable.
| Chocolate Cake Lover chapter 29 . 5/30
Not a big Harry Potter fan but this was really enjoyable, and I think Alexandra had a big part in that. I find her surprisingly relatable especially in how her interactions with teachers remind me of when I was in school. I also liked how her motivation to discover her father's identity served to make her first year interesting without being overly slice of life despite the lack of... autonomy(?) I'd expect a magical novice to have.
In general I liked the rest of the characters, but I think Anna (I also adore her relationship with Alex), the Pritchards and Grimm, although definitely not a likeable person, get special mentions for me. Journey too I liked as an antagonist.
Other than that I have nothing substantive to say but a few scattered thoughts: Would ASPEW be said as-pew or as-spew?... either way no wonder they aren't more popular.
I wonder if there's a definitive state Larkin Mills is in? My guesses would be Indiana Ohio Illinois Michigan but I'm pretty sure I've missed something which means it's something completely different.
At first when I read "ung oo" I had to ask myself if that was as uhhh, foul mouthed as I thought it was but going by later instances of Alex's language getting censored I imagine that yeah it was.
Going by your blog it seems that you still intend to release more to the series so will be looking forward to that after I finish the other books, although the longer it takes to finish the series the longer it'll be before you sink my ship so I definitely have patience :P
| antim1santhrope chapter 5 . 5/5
so the story is very unique, you have done a great job of character building Alexandra and the world so far... I do kinda wish that you didn't just use all the British magical words (or the muggle born hatred, and attire because I feel you could build an entire new wizarding world but all in all great job
| Guest chapter 7 . 4/15
well the story is getting 'modern' now. Weve got racist inbred white guys who subjigate their 'women folk', a female and a black 'justice warrior' one of who pet's name is undoubtedly named after MalcolmX, the quiet but brilliant asian, the preening and fake white girl, a hippie, just wondering now when the homosexuals will be introduced, lol. I hope this plane pulls out of the nose dive its gone into. :)
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/14
An interesting beginning, I was suffering withdrawls after reading your entire hogwarts houses divided story in a single day, so I thought I would check this story out. Mostly because you seem to have genuine writing ability.
| Guest chapter 7 . 2/13
| Haleyyx chapter 29 . 2/2
Honestly, I put this fic off for so long, not really being interested in anything K rated and it not having any original Harry Potter characters in it. I'm actually kind of glad i put it off, since now i have something to entertain me for the next month or so at work. I am VERY impressed with this fic, its extremely well written, tons of character growth. The twist at the end i did not see coming. A awesome job! I cant wait to start the second entry in this series!
| buffy11bnl chapter 29 . 12/8/2017
I don’t even have words for how good this was! I love how you made the American wizarding world so uniquely distinct from the original series. I started reading it at and just could not put it down until I was done - can’t wait to read the sequels!
| Guest chapter 11 . 11/23/2017
I genuinely want to enjoy the story, but it is so ridiculously unfair but I can’t force myself to read it without becoming extremely angry at most of the characters.
| Cuddlemuffins chapter 1 . 11/10/2017
I am in love with your Alexandra Quick stories. I created an account simply so I could compliment your writing. I got half way through Thorn Circle and completely forgot that I was reading fan fiction. I love the exploration of what the wizarding world is like in America. I never knew that I needed this until now.
| ashez2ashes chapter 29 . 10/26/2017
That was pretty good! I finally decided to jump into this after seeing it recommended on the HP fanfic reddit multiple times. I admit, the beginning was a little rough because Alexandra starts out so very unlikable. I know that was by design though so its not really a criticism just a comment. She gets a lot better as the story goes along. There's some very good and believable character development.
I'm intrigued where this is going and look forward to meeting her father. He seems like an interesting man. I also really enjoyed the world building in this. Its not canon of course, but you had no idea that they'd come out with information about Illvemorny. I commend your willingness to create a school that's very different from Hogwarts. Even Rowling cribbed a bit too much from Hogwarts, imho (although I love her story about the founder). I really like that Hermione seems to have actually changed the world with her SPEW organization. Hogwarts era Ron and Harry would have been really amused to find out how far reaching it was. I hope David gets to talk with an elf in the next book. I feel like that conversation would be really amusing.
Dean Grimm is a very fascinating character. I like her. She's very different from Dumbledore and very interestingly gray. Your description of her post raven swarm battle was quite epic.
I'm feeling a bit of despair though when I realized the latest sequel hasn't been updated for five years... Egads. I've just set myself up for some major disappointment and anguish when I get there haven't I? Because it definitely doesn't go as far as her graduation if you go with the one book a year format. Do you write original novels now? I've read Hogwarts Houses Divided so I like your work in general. I'd been willing to check anything original out.
| Discreetly chapter 29 . 9/4/2017
An incredible story that replicates that magical feeling of discovery I had as a child when I first read the Harry Potter books. But Alexandra Quick is no carbon copy of Harry Potter, whip-smart and strong-willed, Alexandra Quick is determined to learn all she can in the wizarding world, whether that be new magic or who she really is. Her excitement is infectious, her determination inspiring (though probably better used for other ends) and though she can be more than a little bratty and bull-headed, at her core Alexandra Quick is a good witch.
While I have a few complaints, mostly I have praise. And although I could go on and on about the wonderful detail and thought that has been put into the American wizarding world or note how sensible and well-crafted the story's big reveal is, the heart of the story are the characters. And what this story has given us is Alexandra Quick, a name that deserves to be remembered just as much as Harry Potter.
Thank you for writing.