|Reviews for Glass Heart|
| Irma.Arisa.Laye chapter 1 . 1/26/2008
this was so hillarious and totally cute! ;)
keep it up,.,. :D
| Kountry101 chapter 1 . 1/7/2008
LOL! . Great story! Loved it! _
| Leaviel chapter 1 . 1/6/2008
that was awesome!
| The Scarlet Sky chapter 1 . 1/4/2008
...I'm just going to have to marry you for writing that. XD
Machi the anti-Cinderella is priceless, as is Kakeru's brotherly love and Ayame's. Not to mention Yuki's sweet, but inevitably suave, side.
Humor is excellent. Plot is perfection to a "T." Machi's personality practically jumps off the page.
Yuki x Machi has never been so laugh-inducing, or as indearing. My hat's off to you.
| Xerxes93 chapter 1 . 12/31/2007
THAT was pure genius...
| LittleGirlInLove chapter 1 . 12/31/2007
This was written so well )
You don't see too many YukixMachi fanfics and when you do, very few are written with as much humour as this XD
I loved it and I look forward to your next fanfic )
| ILiketospin chapter 1 . 12/29/2007
O.o ... that was hillarious! I loved it!
| MoonlightSonata-Fantasie chapter 1 . 12/29/2007
LOL! That was really precious! I'm smiling so hard, it hurts! I also love the way you dictated the real story in italics. Priceless!
| badwolf107 chapter 1 . 12/29/2007
Verry funny story. i loved it.
| kanoodling chapter 1 . 12/29/2007
Awesome. Very funny ]
| Almost Sierra chapter 1 . 12/28/2007
The ending was awsome! I love this one-shot! You fit all of the personalitys really really well! Ayame and Kakeru are awsome!
| Adi88 chapter 1 . 12/28/2007
Because any fairy tale is instant love, and Ayame is instant love, but putting the two together is Just Plain Awesome. You are a goddess. And cripes, you did it in like - what, a day. Turn around and the bunny has life. It’s beyond cool. Even if Kakeru doesn’t think so at the moment. He’ll come around, though.
“There once lived a girl, overworked by her step-family and unfairly put-upon by all around. Her name was Cinderella.”
- Seriously. I adore beyond all sanity this… putting in the little bits and then contradicting them dead on.
“Machi was sitting alone inside, systematically tearing the piles of love-notes and fan letters for the President into confetti.”
- Because, as you said, a] she is subtle in her affections, and b] oh yeah, really overworked. I mean, not that she has it easy with that mom, but that’s not a step family, is it…
“I was just talking to the Interchangable Emmas in the gardening club and noticed that your favorite kind of flower is in bloom…”
- YES. The Interchangeable Emmas will rule us all! They are overtaking the fandoms one by one! Too much win.
And then that whole thing. The flowers, that she promptly starts shredding them, and most of all that this does not impede his progress - damnit, he got those things to bribe her with, and he will continue to try and reap the benefits of it, even if they are not in fact her favorite.
- Haha. You do not push the Machi.
“Kakeru punched the air, narrowly missing his president’s nose in his determination and enthusiasm.”
- You just write him so well, it’s… not even funny. Or it is, because it’s him, but you know.
“Manabe… do you even have the scope to imagine how much work that would take?”
- Kukuku. Little mind, big world…
“Half the school volunteered to help.”
“The girl half.”
- For once, I am having too much fun to mind the whole fanclub thing. It actually adds to the overall Ambiance.
Then the list of practical concerns overridden by popularity, because yes, it pays to be handsome, rich, and polite… culminating in the real question…“Is there any way I can stop this from happening?” So. Much. Love.
“She took a small wrapped box from a pile that had accrued on Yuki’s classroom desk, arranged it neatly before her, whacked it with a hammer until it stopped crunching, and threw it out the nearby window.”
- Because I can see her doing it. And it makes me want to keep my fingers away fro flat surfaces where they might become targets.
I adore Kakeru’s being over there all the time, just because siblings Should Be Close in my world and so it is cute, even if poor Machi must suffer for it.
“ ‘Don’t use my home as a closet,’ she muttered to herself.”
- Love, love, for not even bothering to say it to him. Because, you know, what would it really matter?
“It’s okay. I found it.”
- Snorfle. Yeah, she was worried there.
“How do I look? Dashing?”
- As royalty should. And now I’m contemplating whether it’s just that he and Ayame are both caught up in the Narrative Causality - and helping it along - or maybe they plotted this beforehand at some point and decided that Kakeru should look dashing that night, to help the spirit of things. It’s kind of like Jack Sparrow - they’re both so random-yet-successful, one has to suspect they plan it ahead of time.
Math being “butchered” is love.
“Kakeru put a hand on her shoulder, because of what happened the last time he tried to give his half-sister a bear hug.”
- I get way too much pleasure out of picturing that. Kakeru’s face, meet floor…
“She gets weird about curfew, and doesn’t believe anything I say anymore. Not after she caught me sneaking in.”
- Unreasonable woman. Sn. Sn. Sn.
“As the evil step-family swept away to the ball, Cinderella cried in despair.
When Machi finished her homework, she cooked a full square meal of instant noodles and toast. She burned it. And then she took a shower.”
- Possibly my favorite of the story/contradiction bits, just because I adore those details of what she ate, that it was burned, that she took a shower…
“At long last, fair maiden, you may stem your tears!”
- Hell. Yeah.
“One level up, a baby woke and began to wail.”
- Mua-hahaha! Sorry, baby, but Ayame is in the building. There are way more important things to do than sleep, like worship at his feet as he grants wishes and makes dreams come true.
“He looked like Yuki, but much, much campier.”
- The. Best. Line. Ever. Icon is needed.
- And as reactions go, this makes me laugh so hard I may cry.
- And everything leading up to it. REASON HAS NO PLACE HERE, HATORI. Silly man…
“Before she could blink, Machi was dressed in a shimmering, lavender dress to her knees, and her hair was dry and springing out of its bun in curling bunches. ‘Um.’ ”
- Just priceless. It all reads like, sort of, what might have happened if the anime had gotten this far, only better because a] they wouldn’t have thought of it and b] they wouldn’t have executed it this well, with the Contradictions and Irony that is solely yours. Plus it would have been awkward with the school play. But anyway.
“Complete with a delicate pair of glass slippers.
She shifted her weight, and something cracked ominously.
Ayame beamed. Magic was awesome.”
- No, I take it back. THAT’S my favorite. The other one is close second.
“Machi teetered toward the auditorium, every step on the rough concrete crunching with dark portent.”
- …That may well be the best sentence here. Dark portent…
“Oh! And be back before… M, say, nine? Plenty of time. There’s only so long that Hatori and I can entertain ourselves in the car, waiting to ferry you home.”
- But they’ll manage somehow. Seriously, they are in love.
“All of the girls – and they were all girls, with a few boys trying to turn the odds in their favor…”
- Foolish boys… Oh and belatedly, I love them categorizing Machi’s dress as a “prom” thing, and it not being right for the concert-gear.
“And Yuki, sinking into the velvet cushion, trying to discretely shake his head hard enough to dislodge the brass crown held in place by hairpins and duct tape.”
“When Yuki saw her, the blood drained out of his face, and then returned in full force around his cheeks and nose.”
- He’s so damn cute. I could just squeeze him.
“ ‘Dude. Machi’s hot.’ He made a hand gesture that suggested Yuki’s ultimate happiness could only be attained through Machi’s being delivered onto the stage unharmed.”
- In case he hadn’t noticed. And then, the gesture - yes. So lovely. You are the master of the written word.
“She was raised on a cloud of obligated resentment.”
- I say it again. Master. Mistress, rather.
“You’re beautiful, Machi. You usually are, but now…you’re glittering.”
- Because it has been established that, while Ayame’s taste in dresses for objects of Yuki’s affection runs to along the line of Kaylee’s… so does Yuki’s. He doesn’t mind some glitter on his gals. Too much fun to picture.
“ ‘They’re beautiful shoes,’ Yuki said absently. He was staring at her eyes.”
- Just yes. That is a MOMENT.
“They broke into song.
“…trying to keep in her bubble of contempt to evade the grabby guests.”
- Snorfle again. Bubble of contempt. I like that.
“Outside, on the concrete, the shoes made a series of crunching noises, and then a shattering noise, and then an awful kind of tinkling, powdering noise.”
- Ah, wince. She is so lucky she didn’t puncture something she’ll need later in life… but I love that way of describing it. Just the sounds. And the way you describe the sounds.
“Hiya, Prince Charming! See? Delivered unto you, one Damsel. With complementary glass slippers!”
- Yes. So much yes. He is the master of all things.
“Machi’s fairy godmother waved his wand at the president and did his best to make his gauzy outfit glimmer.”
- …All things and then some. We may have to invent new things just for him to be the master of them, because he so damn awesome.
“Shigure heard from Momiji, who heard from Tohru, who heard from that dashing boy, Kakeru, of course.”
- Dashingness aside, you have to love the gossip chain.
“Hatori grimaced at him. They shared a moment of understanding and Ayame-suffering.”
- How rude, right after Yuki got his princess and Hatori got Some. Snark.
“The car drove away at a reasonable, sane pace, despite her fairy godmother’s urgent cries of ‘mush!’”
- …This, inexplicably, makes me laugh the hardest of anything. Mush! I mean… MUSH. You know? Christ. So lovely. He forgets that it’s not Shigure driving.
“Yuki stared at the cooling glass in his hand. It smelled like feet that had spent too long without breathing.”
- YES. Of all the injections of reality, this is the best.
And Ayame - so long as he gets his clothes back, all is well. As movie!Count Olaf might say, with the air of one who has righted all wrongs in his personal world, “Well, we’ve done all we can do…”
“Looked a lot like you, in fact. Only I know that it wasn’t you, because you said you weren’t going to go, and, let me tell you, that girl was most certainly there.”
- In all her hotness. So lovely.
“It was dark! All you saw was the glittering!”
- Nothing can defeat the glitter!
“You know, Yuki, they have a point! Maybe you should have them try on that glass slipper! Logic dictates that it’ll only fit your One True Love!”
- So. Cruel. And that sentence about logic is also needing an icon and to be framed. It may someday provide the basis for the Abridged Cinderella.
“Logic dictates that they might try cutting off bits of their feet to wear it.”
- Even crueler. I mean, I assumed he was trying to shake some sense into them, and maybe that was the intention, but…
“Rummaging sounds came from the other side. Unfortunately, none among them had a knife and/or sword handy.” Yeah.
“Kimi took the slipper from where Yuki had set it on Machi’s desk and experimentally stuck her foot in it. It was too wide; she wiggled her toes and observed the way the curved glass squished them.”
- That image… is too much love. And love for the little moments, just… what each of them did, that this sets off.
“For a second, in the new, bright sunlight and the haze of illness, it almost appeared that he was wearing a white, princely uniform.”
- You can only defy the world Ayame creates for so long, foolish mortal.
“Why did you keep it?”
“…Because I thought you’d forgotten it?”
- Snorfle. Ah, these two are the most adorable thing ever.
“Will you please wear it?”
- I’m sorry, that just sounds… kinky. It is fun.
“She willed him to go away with her mind.”
- I love Machi, and I love that sentence.
“It will prove Manabe wrong.”
- His logic does have the ring of infallible to it.
“What did Kakeru say, for him to be wrong?”
“That only my One True Love could fit into the glass slipper.”
- No, no, no… mean thing to put there…
Ah, love for Yuki sort of creeping closer. One takes one‘s life one‘s hands…
“I knew it was wrong. More than one person can wear a pair of shoes. Naohito fit them, and I think Kimi’s half-through planning our wedding.”
- WIN. Oh god. Yuki/Naohito OTP. Hahaha! Foolish short boy, thinkest thou to come between Machi and her love? Kimi is okay, though, because that’s just how Kimi is, and Yuki does have the qualities she looks for in a man - money, money, and more money.
“Yuki touched her chin, and murmured, ‘Happy birthday to me,’ before leaning in to kiss her.”
- Sweet, sweet. Too sweet.
“The funniest thing happened in school today: I saw a girl trying to cut her pinky toe off with toenail clippers! Absolutely priceless!”
- Oh. GOD.
“Yuki backed up, searched her eyes for any indication that the moment wasn’t unwelcome or lost forever, and found it.”
- As happy endings go, it’s… perfect. Sweet and there and not… yeah. Just perfect.
“Kakeru swallowed, and thought that maybe he was coming down with something, too.”
- Because Machi pwns all.
“The entire step-family begged for forgiveness, and Cinderella forgave them for their cruelties.”
- Except this is more like the old-fashioned version. Actually, one wonders if maybe those shoes WERE deeply uncomfortable, to give Cinderella the idea. Ahem. Anyway, fortunately, Machi has more mercy than that. Marginally.
“ ‘Not cool! Not cool!’
And they lived happily ever after.”
- The. Best. Ending. Ever. It calls for many stop-action words. Yeah. This is just… lovely beyond all reason.
| Quinchester chapter 1 . 12/28/2007
It's perfect, damnit.
| Jounah chapter 1 . 12/27/2007
i actually really like this. everyone seemed in character, and that's a hard thing to do.
| JulyPie chapter 1 . 12/27/2007
That was so good. I can totally picture Ayame doing that, and I liked the little bits of Cinderella in italics, nice touch. Ayame and Kakeru rule.