Reviews for Snape's Priceless Heirloom
Guest chapter 1 . 2/20
Are you kidding me? If I write a book, I'll be constantly dishing out fanfictions and my fans would never know. Harharhar.
thedarklordsfavoritedungeonbat chapter 1 . 7/30/2014
Snape isn't God? I find that hard to believe (Alan Rickman played The Metatron in Dogma, remember?) brilliant story...
hpsslily chapter 1 . 7/5/2014
Wow so sweet
aryllia chapter 1 . 10/18/2012
You do know that Snape lived in a ratty old house in Spinners End, right? That his parents were so poor that he walked around dressed as a street urchin?

I'll have to assume that this is the continuation on someone else's fic because otherwise there'd be a dire need for explanations as to how a teacher from a very poor background would be able to have a manor - in the Snape name no less. You do know that the Snapes are the muggle half of his family, right?

On a stylistic level, I think your writing is good but with room for improvement. Right now it looks like the notes for a really good story. It has potential, but the whole build-up of the story is just explained to us instead of shown. I think you could get a really powerful story if you instead went back to the point where it breaks off from the canon storyline (early in his sixth year) and start there instead. That way you would get room to fix the multitude of plotholes that we now just have to assume are fixed somehow (most glaringly: how to compensate for the lack of the Dursley's protection and how Snape would explain to Voldemort that he's adopting the enemy)

It would be a whole lot longer though, so you might want to continue writing a few shorter fics at first until you feel comfortable with the characters and your writing style :)
Sharon T chapter 1 . 2/6/2012
What wonderful fluff :)
Joey Penn chapter 1 . 6/13/2011
I loved this, it was so incredibly sweet and endearing.

A few grammatical errors but they are easily overlooked because your story flows well and, well, let's face it this is a fic type that I love!1
Deanadelyon chapter 1 . 3/9/2011
Haha so cute! :) Nice job.
Infinite Nosferatu chapter 1 . 3/5/2011
That. Was. So. CUTE! OMFG, THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST FANFIC'S OF SNAPE-HARRY ADOPTION I'VE EVAH READ!
WeasleyForMe chapter 1 . 10/14/2009
That was odd and sweet at the same time! It's so hard to imagine Severus adopting Harry, but you write the story so well! I liked the ending so much! You should write more stories! :)
ddamato chapter 1 . 6/22/2009
Can I give you some constructive criticism? I really think you have potential as a writer, but the only thing I find fault is only a few lines where Severus is out of character.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, it's just constructive criticism.

And to be honest, this is the first time I've ever done this.

It's just - I would love to see you write more Harry Snape adoption fics. *sheepish*

"It was Severus who had sat with Harry every night before he was due back in the common rooms

and listened to his tales of his godfather which Severus has patiently endured."

I don't get why Harry is telling Snape tales about Sirius, but I can see Snape sitting with Harry every night.

"It was Severus who had let Harry sleep in his chambers when he was to distraught to go back to the common rooms and had held him and whispered calming nonsense that now, when Harry looked back to, made no sense whatsoever."

I can definitely see Professor Snape letting Harry sleep in his chambers, but I definitely cannot see Snape whispering words of nonsense. I think the same result could be achieved, by Snape just sitting there, providing comfort.

"I always thought it clashed horribly with my outfits anyway,” Severus said with a huge smirk on his face."

I can see Snape's attempt at humor, but the words "huge smirk" just put me off. I think just "smirk" by itself will have the same effect - if not more, you know?
vincents1lover chapter 1 . 10/14/2008
OMG THIS!IS JUST TO ADORIABLE!* ILURVEIT IT!Please would u make more snape and harry gentle moments as father and son! PELASE!XD
Swelldinner chapter 1 . 10/12/2008
Hey, just thought I'd drop by and say thanks for reviewing my first story, so I thought I'd just return the favour. It's a good one-shot. You should write more. (: Again, thanks for the review.
Mistymist chapter 1 . 7/6/2008
OK first off I would never of read this if you hadn't reviewed me so thanks for that. xD

Secondly I actually think you did a really good job with this little ficlet, Bravo you made Snape human how clever of you. lol

thanks for sharing I hope you continue to write more stories.
beggsykay chapter 1 . 4/15/2008
That was so cute!

Oh and for the record - Severus IS a god!
spinningleaves chapter 1 . 3/4/2008
Great job. Maybe four lines up from the end you just need to say Harry flung himself instead of Harry had flung himself. Just a little opinion, also my teachers have told me that it's best to spell out numbers so forty-five instead of 45. Just a minor suggestion, I liked the idea behind your piece and the way you gave backstory at the beginning so people wouldn't be confused.
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