|Reviews for Pistol|
| Whiteling chapter 10 . 4/4
Aw man plz update soon - I'm desperate to see what happens next!
| ReadingWolf chapter 10 . 11/3/2009
gah plz plz plz update soon!
| Mahalove chapter 10 . 6/11/2009
I love this story. I just hope you continue writing :)
| shadowxofxdarkness chapter 10 . 12/22/2008
Oh I love this story so much
Please update soon
| Rory4 chapter 10 . 11/29/2008
This, so far, is amazing. I love your writing. I can't WAIT till you update! I promise I'd give you a more thorough review, but it's like three in the morning, and I'm exhausted, lol. Bed time!
Till next time,
| Len chapter 10 . 11/11/2008
Gah! You must update! Pronto! I love the Jonathan/Rachael dynamic, and how deliberately you've paced it. Please update soon!
| KateWoods chapter 10 . 11/7/2008
I like it:) keep going!
| Love Is A Fast Song chapter 1 . 10/26/2008
Interesting point of view to have the story from. Definitely different and I love the plot twist of Rachel now being in the line of "danger" so to speak due to having a jar.
Can't wait till the next chapter!
| Pampers Baby Dry chapter 10 . 10/26/2008
omg! I love it! cant wait till you continue, please tell me evy goes with ardeth in this story! please! give evy ardeth! continue soon see yha
| tegsquared chapter 10 . 10/15/2008
This story is amazing!
| abstract.serenity chapter 10 . 10/12/2008
I only started reading this yesterday, but I think that this has to be the best, or one of the best, Mummy rendition fics I have ever read. I love how you portray Rachael. She's fiesty and one female you wouldn't want to mess with. I like the fact that you didn't make her a Rick incarnate. I thought her characterisation was fresh and a nice change of pace from Rick, though I love him to pieces.
I do have one thing that I've found quite annoying. Jonathan is rather OOC in this, and to be quite frank, so is Evelyn. I was taken aback by how you portrayed Evelyn in the first few chapters. Some of her dialouge was completely out of character for her. To me, it came across as if you throughly dislike her, though I may be wrong. Back to Jonathan, some the things he said are really not what I would've thought he would say. Hell, I was confused when he slept with Rachael; that just didn't seem probable to me. Perhaps a slightly different scenario would've sufficed?
However, I must admit I liked your characterisation of everybody else. I particularly enjoyed imagining Rachael snapping some of my favourite lines from the Mummy.
I've also enjoyed the pace of the story so far. I think that you are progressing with your story very well, and are introducing some interesting events away from the movie. In particular, when Rachael switched from being on Evelyn's team to the American's group. I wasn't expecting it and I thought that it was a very well-timed twist to the story.
Sorry for such a long review! I'm sorry if it was overly negative, but you did encourage constructive criticism. I didn't mean to offend you in anyway, I am merely pointing out the things that stood out for me.
Overall, I have enjoyed it thus far. I hope to see an update soon! :D
| Doctor U. N. Owen chapter 9 . 10/12/2008
"Putting me to shame while NOT reviewing my story, Owen? Geez, have
you got it out for me or what? And how come you're not tearing this story to pieces as well? (Or is Ana just better than me?)"
Indeed, 'tis my life's ambition to put you to shame, Estora.
And yes, Ana is just better than you.
*Watches as Estora's head explodes from the insult to her Ego*
Anyway, I came back to review this chapter because I loved the scene between Jon and Rachael - which I suppose the most credit must go to Nakhti.
I enjoyed the end part of this chapter, too, how Rachael watches Chamberlain say it but doesn't actually hear him.
And yes, Estora, Anzar IS better than Zahir. At least you can see that.
However, I have to say that you do need a beta. Not necessarily for this chapter, but throughout the story I've noticed a lot of silly typos. And I really don't like Rachael using the word Fuck all the time, because it's vulgar and just plain annoying after a while.
Keep writing, AnaMaria.
Doctor U. N. Owen
| Estora chapter 10 . 10/12/2008
Quote: I mean, those Rick's sister/cousin/best friend ones? The only difference they make is a few added "Rick!"s and a love interest for Ardeth. CoughEstoraCough.
What? Who? Me? *Covers ears* I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
Lol. Putting me to shame while NOT reviewing my story, Owen? Geez, have you got it out for me or what? And how come you're not tearing this story to pieces as well?
(Or is Ana just better than me?)
Anyway. Back to the review.
Ana, my dear, I loved this chapter. Rachael has chemistry with everyone - heck, she even had chemistry with the frog she squished! I love her. I especially loved her interactions with Jonathan, including this:
And before she knew it, she was being hauled away by two strong hands, working together in perfect, trusting synch.
Evy's POV - and even through her POV we can see that Jon and Rachael trust each other and automatically have the same instinct without talking; working together to save Evy.
And Anzar. What can I say? He's better than Zahir, as Owen tactlessly pointed out. *Scowls* But I love him, because he's his own character and the tension you've got between the two characters is perfect. I find it quite amusing, though, since Evy herself if half Egyptian yet doesn't believe in hocus-pocus stuff as her mother might have, because she was raised British. And Anzar telling her off was fantastic - it echoed everything Evy was thinking in the chapter when she faced Imhotep. Perfect touch!
Cheers, Ana, and keep writing!
~ Estora ~
| Doctor U. N. Owen chapter 10 . 10/12/2008
Doctor U. N. Owen is finding it to be rather annoying having to type out her penname over and over again, despite her love of using the Third Person.
Doctor U. N. Owen shall retire to the use of First Person to save time.
I thought the Torah references at the beginning of this chapter and the last were nice touches, and it's nice to see that you're going through all ten plagues instead of the five showed in the movie. Though it makes me curious as to how you're going to handle the last plague - the death of the first born son.
Once again, I much prefer Anzar to Estora's Zahir. He seems to be a much more rounded character and has a nice chemistry with Evy going, I found, during their argument about arrogance and curses, which I thought was clever.
Rachael and Jon together is sweet, as normally people shove their leading female OC character with Ardeth at the first chance they get. So...it's a nice change.
It's also good to see that Rachael is now subjected to the curse. She has a canopic jar - and so far I've liked your divergence from the movie. It's interesting and fresh, and I like your new takes on the scenes which don't just involve a Rachael stealing every single one of Rick's lines. (I mean, those Rick's sister/cousin/best friend ones? The only difference they make is a few added "Rick!"s and a love interest for Ardeth. CoughEstoraCough.)
I will continue to follow this story.
Doctor U. N. Owen
| Doctor U. N. Owen chapter 7 . 10/12/2008
Doctor U. N. Owen likes the character of Anzar better than she likes the character of Zahir in Estora's stories.
Doctor U. N. Owen.