not bad. i think you over powered drake a bit but thats just my opinion.

Posted 29 April 2013, at the Starwarsknights web site and the Lucasforums Coruscant Entertainment Center in my The Critic's Two Cents. I was posting directly to the actual story threads, but my computer went down for the second time in six months with a virus in June of 2012. Then in November kotorfanmedia went down for reasons unknown, so I was stymied in my attempts to post the reviews. I had waited for it to revive, but you on fanfiction deserve your reviews.

The piece needs some polishing, the flow just doesn't feel right. That is why my mantra for every writer (Including myself) is reread, edit, rewrite, polish, repeat.

Technical note: The armor's colors denote their present rank primarily; a simple grunt would have the next color up to show a promotion. But since Mandalorian armor is ubiquitous, the idea that Canderous can automatically identify one man out of the millions that fought for the Mandalorians is a stretch. It would be like say General Patton identifying one man in his 3rd Army by the way he wears his hat.

I only had time to read the first chapter, but it was interesting enough that I wished I had time to read more.

You also skipped Griff and Helena

I mostly don't make a habit of reviewing while still reading the whole story, but I must note that the look of Falcan is very similar to Dante's from the Devil May Cry video game Series. More so is the choice of weapons: One large Sword and Dual Pistols. Is that coincidental or are you a DMC fan?

Ouch... I dislike reading abandoned stories. Especially good ones.

Nice! It's so rare to see a male Revan fanfic these days, let alone a good one. Well done! I like the fact that you're trying to keep close to the original story line but at the same time you're also introducing new dialogs and situations instead of just lifting from the game. Unfortunately, i don't quite like the idea of a non-canon character in the story even if it does make things slightly more interesting but thats just me. Good story nevertheless. It seems very well written to me as far as the language is concerned. Keep 'em coming!

Well done, in many respects. A male Revan, which is rather rare nowadays, and RevanBastila pairing, which is even rarer. You stick a little to close to the game's script for my tastes, but you interpret that well enough, and change enough, that it doesn't really matter.

One thing though: you should make more use of commas and semicolons. Some of your sentences can be a little tough to read without them.

I like some of the extra depth you are giving to the encounters that happens throughout the game. I'd like to read more as soon as released. It's almost as good as Lady Revan's contributions. However, I can't say that I like the introduction of this "Falcan" character, he takes away from the rest of the team's importance and contributions. Also, the grammar and spelling can use some work so we don't have to guess at what you are saying.

An example of a great Revan/Bastila love story, at last! .You should continue with this impressive work

Great chapters! Thanks for writing this! Sorry for not reviewing lately. I'll read this story slowly, savoring it like fine wine. It deserves nothing less. God bless!

Awesome stuff.

nice

Great story. I like how you have added a bit more depth to the characters as well as keeping the action exciting. The OC was also a nice touch. You are a great writer an dkeep up the good work.

Great work.

Great work keep it up.