|Reviews for As I Lay Me Down To Sleep|
| Goddess-Divine-05 chapter 1 . 1/12/2011
Beautifully written. You're a brilliant author!
| lin on the spin chapter 1 . 5/16/2010
um, this depressed me! Well, it was good anyways tho, so brava! Now, do more on ur other one, pleez, the To Trammel with some wild thing one! Linny likey that one!
| krysdelle chapter 1 . 1/2/2010
Wow. That was intense. I feel like there's so much I want to say after reading this, and at the same time I just sit here in shocked silence, reveling in the moment.
It's horrifyingly beautiful. I can't think of another way to say it. And I mean that in the way that some paintings hold fascination, or pieces of music tear emotions from you.
(and, because I'm ignorant, what does OC mean? I know OOC in out of character, but I just think of crossovers with the OC when I see that)
| Virtuous Vampire chapter 1 . 4/21/2009
Very enjoyable and there's a definite fairy tale vibe to it. It was suspenseful, it kept me glued to the screen. Well done.)
| Weirdo-Lover chapter 1 . 4/6/2008
Chit! She dies! And yes...I do say so myself it was a ...pleasing way to go...in a DARK way of course...God have mercy...haha...GREAT JOB!
| Bobby Rae chapter 1 . 3/21/2008
this is really good, I wouldn't have thought to write from one of his' victims' perspective.
| TheStoryGypsy chapter 1 . 2/18/2008
Yes! I firmly believe this is your best work! That is, until you write something even more amazing. :D
Wow. What to say about this? What hasn’t already been said? For your writing, probably a lot. It has such depth to it that it would take a rare person to decipher it all. But, of course, the complexity isn’t the only thing that makes your writing so amazingly different. You have this way of picking just the right words and weaving them into such a way that it only takes one sentence to be *there.* As the Official Handholder (I’m going to trademark that), I know how much effort you put into each of your works. And, trust me, it shows. Now, before I fill your ego up to maximum capacity, I shall get to the fancy writings.
First off, I love how you start with the line about dreaming. Oh, irony! (Or perhaps not, since this is, in fact, coming from you.) What else is Vladdypants but something in our heads, a *dream* to us? Very nice.
I love metaphor about the trees and the bit “long ago when he was called Tepes.” That is super ingenious, chica. Also, it is interesting to note that Miss OC thinks about and acknowledges his darker, macabre side, but in a curious, captivated manner and not fearful at all. “Those smooth trees bearing their strange fruit.” Strange, indeed. :P
“past the heart that hammers and the pulse that rushes” – How come I didn’t notice how poetic that was before now? 0_o Oh my.
“How I trembled then, I who knew nothing of a man’s touch but everything about the horrors of the dark…” That line calls to mind: “… I blushed again, unnoticed, to think he might have chosen me because, in my innocence, he sensed a rare talent for corruption.” Hellz yeah, you know where that’s from. :P
“a silent figure in priestly black” – Three cheers for desecration of holy things! Hip-hip—I’m kidding.
I just adore how you take the classic “What do you want?” “You” lines and change it a new twist. I’m probably not the only one that went, “Ugh! Why didn’t *I* think of that?” We be jealous.
You know, I am amazed at how freaking smexy this is! It is explicit without being graphic. It takes only a split-second for the haze to clear and then—bam—it hits you, and your double-meanings show themselves. You pack a punch without being over the top. This. Is. CLASSY! (And, frankly, I can’t wait to see what you do in TTSWT. Haha.)
It is sad, though, how Miss OC values her worth in Draccybear; “I cry and I am nothing. Nothing to him.” I mean, you gather her innocence and naivety perfectly with that. But I think we can all relate to that in some way-whether conscious or not, we all have, one time or another, valued ourselves by what someone else said or thought about us. And how many girls have let their worth hinge on a guy…? Too many. Now, I call her naïve because—aha!—we know something that she doesn’t know (or doesn’t seem to know, I should say). She says, “Never again will I feel this beautiful, this complete, this loved,” when the poor thing doesn’t know that Dracula doesn’t really love her. He can’t love her. And even if he did, getting it on and love are two different things (at least to him).
Does Dracula despise crying because it is for the weak? Surely he would excuse a woman crying because we are “the weaker sex” (please note the quotations xD). Or does he despise crying because it is a show of emotion—something he can never have? Hmm…
“His head is still bowed as if in prayer” – Three cheers for desecr—KIDDING! I’m so full of myself today. xD
O noes! And the smart person is unleashed! The Ten Virgins painting, coins for the ferryman (do you even realize how much I love you for that bit?), Shakespeare… oh my!
Funny, when she tells him that *he* promised to never hurt her, he’s all like, “oh, I lied, big deal!” but when it comes to *her* he tells her “ladies always keep their promises.” What a butt.
Huh, I like that bit about the pharaohs of Egypt. I wonder why…
“I thank you, my love, for all that you have so graciously bestowed on me,” he says softly. – That is so beautiful, so mocking, so terrifying, and the last words she’ll ever hear. Perfect.
The ending is so sad. I think you worked it brilliantly. Images, simple, beautiful, pure images; the way you write the last few paragraphs seems to have a rhythm. It is like she is trying to recall as much as she can, but there isn’t enough time and she is losing her grip. And then you leave it on a simple note. It almost feels unfinished, as it should. Le sigh. How sad.
There. Let that be a lesson to you, kiddos! No matter what you think, Dracula doesn’t love you, he only wants you for his dinner!
Well, I’m going to wrap this up now, considering it is becoming a novel (and not a very good one at that). Kudos on this wonderful mini-masterpiece. I lurvs it.
p.s. I beat you to reviewing. Na-na-na-na! I win.
| Clara chapter 1 . 2/15/2008
The manner of your writing is absolutely amazing, I can't get over it. It draws us, as responders, right into the intense emotion of the present in the story to the point that by the time I reached the bottom of the page, I had half-forgotten my own sense of presence. It is so hard to find an author who writes descriptively, sophisticatedly, and captivatingly all at the same time and you my friend have got all three down pat. You really are brilliant at this.
Have you considered putting together a collection of short stories and having them published? If you haven't it's really something I think you should consider when you have a break from the school year, this kind of talent deserves a wider audience. If you already have a book of short stories somewhere, what's it called and where can I find it?
| Stacy Vorosco chapter 1 . 2/12/2008
Awesome! You know, I started to read this a while ago and was interrupted then I totally forgot about it. Now, I've finally had the chance to come back and finish it and I was swept away.
| anna chapter 1 . 2/7/2008
Wow this was so good. And it had an excellent twist. It reminds us how foolish and romantic we think sometimes when the other person could be thinking of something entirly else. Wow 2 for the price of one.
| Lorien Urbani chapter 1 . 1/7/2008
You are back! I'm so happy, I might cry! Well, I won't, I promise, but you came back with style-a very glorious return, girlie, very glorious and breath-taking. (I hope you'll be back again soon, but who I am kidding? I haven't updated my stuff in two months, so I'll just shut up and stop pestering other authors.)
WARNING: This might be long, cause I'm so excited to finally review your stuff again! You were warned...
Where can I begin? I must say that I have never read such a wonderful story in my life. I love the allusions, the foreshadowing, your phrases...It's like reading a perfection, really. I sincerly bow to you.
Maybe I can start with allusions (the ones I saw, you're super smart, I may not see them all). The biggest allusion/reference I noticed was the story of the Red Riding Hood, but not so much so in its classical form, but as it exists in modern interpretations, among which is also Angela Carter's, as you mentioned it yourself (don't you just LOVE "The Company of Wolves"? I do! /sigh/). I remember this quote from "The Company of Wolves", told by the lovely Rosaleen: "Little girls, this seems to say, never stop upon your way, never trust a stranger friend, no-one knows how it will end! As you're pretty, so be wise! Wolves may lurk in every guise! Now, as then, it's simple truth, sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth!"
I think this beautifully sums up your character's story. Your woman is an innocent and her room, I think, shows that (it was also in the movie, right?). Whether she's already a mature woman before her intimate scene with Dracula, I can't say, but it doesn't really matter. Her mind was definitely innocent, a mind of a girl who keeps her childhood toys and dolls, a pillow that her grandmother made for her, with a pocket for a tooth. Meeting Dracula, the "wolf", lifted her mind to a different level, but it was still innocent. The sex did not make her a woman yet to me (though she thought otherwise), but it was the realization of Dracula's dark side, I'd say. They had a bond, but it was broken with the realization of his dark side. She deserted innocence and opened her eyes to experience-the transition made her a woman(William Blake-ish). The lust wasn't there anymore, just fear and regret. Poor thing! I actually feel very sorry for her.
On that note, I also love it how she never really sees Dracula, she's just a shadow darker than all other shadows, and that attracts her even more, the thrill of experiencing unknown excitement. Not seeing his form, is like not seeing his nature, the wolf's nature, the devil's nature. She knows his past, she knew she "nestled" into his murdering arms. But it's like she knows the facts, but she doesn't know what they mean, or doesn't care. She's, in fact, fascinated, not scared or repulsed. In the end, she finally sees him, his nature, but it's too late.
Enter: William Blake's painting. BRILLIANT touch! I just adore you and worship you because of your intelligence and brilliant sense of allusions. Namaste, babe! Anyway, before you get freaked out...Blake! I see this (thank you, my art teacher): the virgins, of course, also allude to her virginity. But that's not it. (Right?) She's the foolish virgin, truth be told, to me, she's a mix of both, but more on the foolish side. Anyhoo...The bridegroom (Dracula, IMO) presents a form of a judgement day, and since we have Dracula here, the prince of darkness, not Jesus, the prince of light, this "judgement day" is her death, not salvation. And when she looks up at the painting, it's like she realizes her foolishness and she sees her death. WONDERFUL, Anon, WONDERFUL! /hugs/ Your girl was the foolish virgin, the one without extra oil for her lamp, and she was clearly not prepared for her death, she didn't see it coming. She has nothing to turn to in this one great time of her personal darkness. Too late, too late...
I'm getting so long, sorry, but I really had to say all this. Ahem. Other stuff is just as brilliant too-Shylock's quote (I LOVE it how you put it in, it gave me the chills, cold and hot), the Pharaophs wrapping their Queens (wow...I learned something new), the white roses for funeral...Argh! I wish I had this talent! I do include allusions, but I'm a kid compared to you! /bows/
I must say, the sex scene was very steamy and nicely outlined. You have good taste for this, some authors prefer anatomy, but you make it so cool, the non-smoking me needs a smoke.:D
Your portrayal of Dracula is perfect. He's a master of deceit, the Devil's kin, and we know that the Devil masters lies. When he said: "I lied.", my heart sank. I know Dracula, I don't deceive myself about him, but when you actually hear his cold tone, the merciless words, it's shocking and sobering. He is wicked seduction and deceitful charm personified and the flies always catch in his web. You described him so well. I also like the allusions to his consciousness, that he has one, but it's calling is feeble and it never reaches him.
I want to say so much more, you really did a brilliant job, but I know it's time I stopped writing and went to college, I have classes. Humpf! BUT, I'd like to print this. Do I have your permission?
Lovely, lovely ragazza, piu, piu, io voglio leggere piu, sempre piu! Have fun and Happy New Year to you too! Don't be a stranger.
| Kairi's-twin chapter 1 . 1/3/2008
wow that was...intense. and maybe just a little creepy nearer to the end. I feel soo sorry for this poor girl all she sought fro him was love but all he sought from her was carnal fullilment and her lifes blood. a cautionary tale indeed. well I suppose it all depends on how you look at it I mean Drac must think of companionship at some point I mean why else would he have three brides if he were not trying to fill some kind of hole? any ways I really liked it Good Job!
| AK chapter 1 . 12/30/2007
This is a great story. It still creeps me out!
| VintageLyre chapter 1 . 12/29/2007
That was very nice, I love the dark touch to it...not too swoon like, like some other fics. I feel like an imbecile, and it is 11 45 pm while I am working on about 2-3 hours of sleep, but is she dead or turned...? Either way, love it!
| Celtic Aurora chapter 1 . 12/29/2007
That was pretty interesting. Mind you, I'm not a huge fan of Dracula, but still, an interesting story.
Definately a cautionary tale though...*glances around in paranoia* I'm locking my windows tonight. XD
But not bad for not having written in a while! Keep up the good work!
PS: Good work on the love scene. It's hard to write one of those and manage to keep the story at a "T" rating, but you did it!