Reviews for Refracted
darkgreylord chapter 8 . 4/30/2010
Wow ] I never thought you'd update this, It's frikken awesome! D As usual I might add. I'm thoroughly enjoying this story, if a little sad that everyone's dying [ I can't wait to see how you conclude or take it further ]

Keep up the good work!
Starflower chapter 1 . 1/15/2010
This is amazing. You have captured the personalities of the characters very well. It is so hard to find a Myst fic that is longer than one chapter and also well done. I just finished Revelation today and, as I always do, I re-did the last part to see what the bad ending would be. I like the parts where he almost slipped in small ways like calling Atrus 'Father' instead of 'Dad'. _
Sirrus Fangirl chapter 7 . 9/17/2009
that was really good! i can't wait for the next chapter!
Sirrus Fangirl chapter 5 . 9/17/2009
wow, 4 years as Yeesha. that must have been a weird sex-change for Sirrus O.o

Anyway, i love your story so far! Poor Sirrus..he just wants to be loved...
Sirrus Fangirl chapter 3 . 9/15/2009
that was really well-written! i cried a little when Maria's mother was standing over her grave
Sirrus Fangirl chapter 1 . 9/15/2009
this is great! you captured Sirrus' personality perfectly. i can't wait to read the rest _
dreemun chapter 6 . 3/24/2009
To step in that room and up to that coffin, and see somebody inside, right on the other side of the glass... *that* would be the end of me. *shudders*

I have only one remark here: you said that he "stared back", but then later that his eyes were closed... can that still work as an expression? It would be a pity to loose the "stare back" part, though, because it is so intense... I mean, it is just the impression it would give me. I felt awkward just reading and imagining it, even though I knew what she would find.

Yeesha's "ghost" getting unwillingly dangerous... such an interesting idea. Oh, I can't wait to see what happens next! How will they catch Atrus, how will Tila fare, and Yeesha, and of course our dear OCD badass... eek! Want more!

Oh, and also - you're awesome. X)
dreemun chapter 5 . 3/9/2009
There's so much Sirrus psychology in that one, it's a trove...

The fiery half-conscious need for recognition is like a watermark all through the chapter... The last paragraphs express it beautifully, but I like how it transpires all along. In particular, I love how nervous Sirrus is when handing in his first Age...

There are those nice traits too, the idea of some names that could never belong to more than just one person, or the mixed panic and excitement of getting lost. And that ever curious mind, wondering where the ball went on Spire... (oh, and of course, lol at the triple-checking of the books before and after linking! XD Can't blame the dude, can we?...) Details like that are numerous and intricate, as well as those about his complex feelings toward Yeesha. This is what I love here, how it makes the journey inside our dear OCD perfectionist’s mind so vivid and life-like... (Nice job with the play on “Atrus”/“Father”/“Dad”, by the way)

I have one question though: what does "It was rough and earthy quarter tone clarinet" mean? Is it an expression? (sorry about my not-so-complete English -_-")

Oh, I wonder how this will turn out... will his plans be hampered by newfound feelings after all? And will he be able to get back to Serenia and retrieve his own body?... me wants mawr!
NebThauDragmire chapter 5 . 3/8/2009
Yay, more Refracted!

This was a very interesting chapter with a lot of internal dialogue. It's awesome to see how Sirrus is adjusting. The last section made me especially sad and, even though I want Sirrus to redeem himself, I know it's not going to happen.

"Yes, yes, he would do that. Then he would know how father made the rocks float, and then he would have learned everything."

Everything there is to know in life is apparently summed up in floating rocks XD
nassrin chapter 4 . 2/18/2009
Is this story going to continue? It's fantastically written, and I need to know what happens. It's nice to see Sirrus so fascinated by the world around him, something he forgot while on Spire.
dreemun chapter 4 . 10/1/2008
(late again - sorry again .")

That kind of situation - both characters knowing a secret, knowing the other knows about it, yet not wanting to disclose it - is one I can't get tired of... and I adore the one you depicted here. So, I might be biased about this chapter, be warned! ;)

Anyway, here are some elements...

First, Atrus's angry reaction does seem likely to me, especially considering the situation and state of mind he's probably in, at that point.

The whole web of relationships between the sisters, of friendship and also of power, is also nicely crafted, their personalities distinct and dynamic.

And... there's *that* paragraph, the heart of the chapter, to me.

"When he spoke that way at home (...)" to "(...) in another time and place."

There are so many crucial things held in those few lines. First, we've got Sirrus's cold analysis of the situation, naturally. But of course that's a brittle surface, with such a heavy emotional charge behind it. At first, actually, I wondered if he was revelling in one of his own memories or one of Yeesha's - then I quickly saw it was his, for the subject at hand was obviously that of the Revelation ending events. But that confusion is tell-tale. In this memory, for the first time, Sirrus is experiencing what it is like to live as Yeesha, eg: to have a real "mom", a real "dad", present, emotional, caring, *warm* (and it might not only be the cold of Spire he is resenting when he thinks of the fire, and of the future warm ages he'll write).

Sirrus has probably never lived such beautiful times in his life, enjoying a home, a family - and ironically, the more beautiful it is the less he can enjoy, because of the gut-gnawing knowledge that it was not meant for him.

He realises his father can tell stories - and there, that last emotion suddenly becomes obvious. He *can* tell stories... but he never *did*. Not to him. Oh, probably because he couldn't back then, yes, he must have learned inbetween, there has to be an outside influence... Whose influence? Well, all considered, probably that of Yeesha. Yeesha, the uncatchable butterfly: both envied and despised for what is her weakness and her greatest power - being adorable and kind. A power that, to his eyes, at least unconsciously, must be the key to getting parents to be so "good" to her, a feat *he* never even *imagined* to be possible. "Yeesha, the little desert bird, the rainstorm in the middle of the desert who brought happiness wherever she went". Oh, such beautifully rendered bitterness. Wonder, jealousy and envy, vying in a nutshell.

(OK - pardon me for analyzing the work of the author for the author herself, especially as this is my interpretation and might be very different from yours... _" but I really loved that part! :D)
NebThauDragmire chapter 4 . 8/24/2008
Yay! New chapter!

It always startles me when Angry!Atrus pops up, even if it's only for a moment. You pulled it off beautifully, however. I love your Protectors! I see that Sirrus is getting better at being Yeesha - scary thought, no?

Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter!
dreemun chapter 3 . 2/26/2008
At last, at last- the review for chapter 3. So sorry it took this long, life just went a bit crazy lately. :)

Maybe it is because you are so much into psychology, or spent a lot of time trying to "pick Sirrus's brain apart" as you say- but the inner-pov description of "disguised-Sirrus's" thoughts is extremely gripping. I always love to follow a character's train of thoughts, and you do this very well. The contrast between the actual events (including what he says) and his perspective of it is cranky, in a very compelling way. That Sirrus doesn't feel for the mourning family doesn't lessen the emotion of the last part, for instance- on the contrary, I think it brings it out.

Back to the question of psychology, my favorite bit was the one about life going on, and the will to leave one's mark. The sudden urge to shake the woman, to violently assert what life was really like (in his eyes of course)-its violence so tell-tale and yet unnoticed by him.

Very nice touch. ;)
NebThauDragmire chapter 3 . 2/15/2008
Yay! More Sirrus-ness! This chapter was so sad, though. . .
dreemun chapter 2 . 1/28/2008
Man, the plot is thickening...

I love the descriptions, and the way the memories keep intruding, too. Serenia sounds like a quite beautiful age.

The more I think of it, the more I realise I have no idea where you might intend to lead that story. It is a really cool AU, I can't wait to see how it turns out! 8-)
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