Reviews for Raw Desire
BelovedQueen chapter 1 . 1/15/2018
this was to rushed
MiiMii chapter 1 . 5/8/2014
They a couple of freaks, this waz sexii.
Ukitsu43 chapter 1 . 9/22/2010
Please don't be offended. This is simply a concrit. You don't have to accept this or do as I suggest. But I'll suggest it because it needs suggesting. Your grammar is fairly good. It made me smile. I like smut and yours was a satisfying to read. However, the build-up to this was subpar at best. You lost me and I'm certain other reviewers, by rushing through your story. It ends up being yet another PWP (plot? what plot?) story. You neglected the other things that might make me more interested in the lemon. Examples; the first chapter really should have been about the protest. Yes, we fans know who Huey is and his MONTH, but you can't assume *every* fan is as knowledgeable. Explaining would help me to care about his injuries. You rushed the part of Jazmine coming to the house. If you had shown us what happened, or let it come out when she got to the house, we might be able to sympathize with her. If you had taken the effort to develop the romance between them (gave chapters dedicated to them hanging out awkwardly and growing more and more interested), the reader would have been that much more satisfied by the final result. Catch my drift? Show them, don't tell them! Again, not a flame. Just concrit. Accept it or leave it, but I really think accepting it will make your next lemon story even better. Happy writing. :)

-ToushiDiablo
BoondocksAdultFanfiction chapter 1 . 3/30/2010
Love this joint u should write more
Puppyloveimani chapter 1 . 4/25/2009
Perhaps the best boondocks lemon yet! xD
MiSSZSN0WFlAKE chapter 1 . 2/25/2008
that was juss.. YESH! XD
Humb1eBeginnings chapter 1 . 1/18/2008
That was good.

Real good.

Really good.

xD

I liked the whole thing.

Maybe a bit to much though.
VegZombieGrl chapter 1 . 1/17/2008
SO TOTALLY AWESOME! LOVE IT! YOU ROCK!
marsiana del martes chapter 1 . 1/10/2008
really good i liked it alot there really arnet that many fic out there with male/female couples always yaio and incest i dont like reading them
HayyBay chapter 1 . 1/3/2008
I love this story you should write a sequal to this like what happens with huey jazmine and micheal
DarkPhoenixSaga chapter 1 . 12/31/2007
OMG that was really good you should write more lemons ;)