|Reviews for As I Am, I Take Thee|
| pat alex chapter 1 . 10/2/2011
Hey Kurrent, i just discovered your lileyverse stories last night and i just got done reading the third one, I'd like to thank you for such a wonderfully written stories, i nothed that during the particularly emotional chapters you said you cried as you wrote it, well it worked, i get sad when they do i cheer when things go right and i peeved when our favorie couple is mistreated. I have thoroughly enjoyed each of the stories so far and am now on my way to read number 4 keep up the awesome work
penname pat alex
| NEXUS2.0 chapter 6 . 4/5/2011
I liked the a/n at the end. I didnt think anyone liked these stories enough 2 take them that far but im looking forward to reading them all. :)
| NEXUS2.0 chapter 3 . 4/5/2011
i just want 2 let u no i love your stories but a little more conflict would help. oh, and its miley RAY stewart not miley MAY stewart
| WyldCard4 chapter 7 . 5/6/2010
A lot of really good things in this chapter. This review will different from my usual ones, as it is not done in the "immersion diary" format that most of my chapter reviews take.
Except for a couple of things I couldn't resist...
The thing that really screams at me is the simple fact that they will never have to wake up without each other again. Wow, just, wow. That is one thing you have set up so beautifully I paused and opened the review window. That whole scene moved me deeply.
Well this was a great ending. The falling action was important for this story. You wrote it sweet and nice. Sometimes I wonder how a relationship would really last when I finish a story, but I really accept that Miley and Lilly would be together forever, even without the mystical reassurance.
Generally speaking this story seems to be a bit of a shift from the previous two. The first story especially seemed to string together several unrelated conflicts. This one is shorter, and better for it in someways. This is the story of their wedding, and really has only two plots.
While it was not absent, I also commented on there being a bit less overt sexuality in this story. I think this had a lot to do with the tighter plot and shorter story in general.
God I hate the term "homosex." I haven't read anything by John C. Wright since I discovered the man's blog and first read the damn term. The protester signs seemed strikingly real to me, and really served a point.
I am very glad I read this story. It might be a bit longer before I finish This Is Our Life. I planned on giving your stories a bit of a break after I finished As I Am, but a stressful period in my life made reading and reviewing something pleasant something I really wanted to do. You are a good writer to read alongside more cynical or action based works, so I don't get swept up in Supernatural killing off another beloved side character or Simon Green's latest cynical horror novel.
Sorry if a couple of my reviews seem a bit disjointed. Typically I have a review window open as I read along, leading me to scribble down pretty much anything that the chapter reminds me of. I think this usually works pretty well for leaving a long review, but when I am tired or something I think it can get a bit weirder than I intend.
Also, I will probably review your first two stories once I finish your two most recent stories. The main reason I didn't review those as I read along was that I didn't want to sit there and talk about elements of your writing that you moved passed years ago but that I was still reading.
Thanks for your replies. I always hope that people like my reviews. I have fun writing them myself. Always remember that for the most part I am a pretentious idiot who is jealous of your writing and will never understand your work if I came off as negative.
One last thing, I prefer the PM system to emails if it is all the same to you.
| WyldCard4 chapter 6 . 5/5/2010
I wish I could italicize words in these reviews. I guess I am just too used to being able to do that. It feels a bit hollow sometimes, not being able to give a word importance without shouting it across the Internet. Feels like I am speaking in a monotone.
Ron/Luanne is kind of sudden, but I think it fits. Ron hasn't got much characterization (not a bad thing, he's just peripheral for the story) but what we have seen fits with crushing on Luanne. Luanne is emotionally unbalanced and we saw a burning desire for love in the last story. I think it fits. Might crash and burn horribly, but you seem to be nicer than that.
The idea of the Truscotts and Stewarts being bound by two marriages strikes me as sweet and warm, exactly the kind of thing you've been writing so far.
Your timing for marriage proposals is great! Lesbian proposal about 2 days after the relationship starts on national television, and nearly abducting your girlfriend onto a jet plane and asking her in the middle of a confused confrontation.
Okay, that might not have been fair, but reading it that way it is funny as Heck (remembering you have a daughter my age I should probably proofread for profanity more).
You know imagining an alternate universe where either of those answers were "no" is a really interesting concept. How they would have dealt with Kaela and the wedding if things had been ever so slightly different would have been dramatic and interesting, while Lola rejecting Hannah on national TV brings up a really interesting idea for an angst based fic. Not that I would have wanted this fic to explore those ideas, but it is interesting to think about.
It was funny to be reminded that the girls who's maturity you have brought up across the fic are the same ones who went about their zany schemes. The idea that Jackson, a man who once impersonated Ozzy Osborn and dressed up as a grandmother, is getting married is pretty hilarious.
I kind of miss the zany schemes in any adaptation without them. Not that I don't love the fic, but something just seems wrong if Miley hasn't roped Lilly into wearing a security guard uniform in order to get Jake Ryan on a one way trip to Iceland. Probably why I don't really like the Movie.
Not that it would fit at all in your excellent story, but I still miss that immature scheming. That's probably why I can get Liley, even if it isn't my favorite ship. Lilly's willingness to go along with anything Miley asks her to do seems suspicious.
You give your characters good hearts. I think that is part of the reason I haven't ever found the sweetness to be sickening. Lilly's sadness at the idea of closing the Magic Kingdom is a perfect example of this. Your heroines aren't just in love with each other, they love the world they live in.
Kind of strikes me in contrast with Twilight. Bella's selfishness and willingness to use others for her own gain makes her deeply unlikable. Twilight isn't the only story where that kind of personal selfishness is just expected. But you don't have that at all. Your heroines are just completely nice people. Sometimes flaws can be good, but half the time it is like the author doesn't even realize that her characters are wrong.
I love the contrast, going straight from the omniscient viewpoint of the heroines' kindness to the two checking each other for boogers. Brings you back down to Earth, which is where we should be.
Interesting line. "Their real lives." In a way that might be why I didn't like the season finale of Season 3 OTL. There seems to be an assumption in the show that Hannah is just fake, she's never really been shown as being a real part of Miley. Maybe it's because I've spent the last two years of my life as WyldCard4 on the Internet, but I don't buy it. Hannah Montana is the heart of the show, but I never felt like they gave enough life to that heart. The double life never struck me as the real conflict of the show, when it really should have been. Miley breaths more personality into her temporary scheme personas than she ever has when creating Hannah Montana.
Not sure why I brought that up.
| WyldCard4 chapter 5 . 5/4/2010
For some reason I always think of Justin and Alex of Wizards of Waverly Place when I hear/see "As I Am." I think it fits the incestual wizards better than most of the songs the fandom calls up for them.
I notice that there seems to be less sexual detail in this story than in previous ones. Not a huge shift, but I think the shorter and more compact story has been written in a way where it rightly wouldn't have fit.
The level of physical intimacy you showed got some mixed reactions from me. It was very good in a lot of ways, it really shows the details of the relationship and makes it firmly believable. I also don't particularly like fading to black and skimping on detail involving sex when it doesn't happen with other subjects.
On the other hand I do feel somewhat uncomfortable with seeing the girls private lives so closely. They are fictional characters, but that level of observation felt uncomfortable, especially considering the ages of their actresses.
It is all a stylistic choice. One of your greatest strengths as a writer is a level of strong physical and emotional detail you apply to everything.
I do love your Lilly dialog. So delightfully cheesy teenage girl. "Thank you for my eyes" is a delightful sentence.
Wait, do Lilly's father and brother not know about their secret identities? Seriously? I think I had just assumed they learned off screen...
I really get a nascent sitcom dad feeling from your Jackson. Kaela also fits pretty well in a sitcom mom role. Give your more frequent time skips in the future I might find out pretty soon after I finish this fic.
Hm, now I want Kaela to propose to Jackson after that comment.
Luanne and Ron is weird, but the two are weird people. I am looking forward to seeing what comes of the two, whether or not they actually get together.
Telling Kaela at this point strikes me as weird. Not that she couldn't handle it, but it seems a bit premature. The fewer who know the Hannah secret the safer they are, no matter how trustworthy the person is. It would have made sense to at least wait until she was engaged to the family. At that point it would have been her own safety as well. But that may just be my inner cynic talking.
Okay, I wrote that thinking they were revealing the Hannah secret, not the Luanne secret. Meh, no reason to delete the paragraph.
Another prophetic dream. One of your comments in your review reply makes me wonder if this whole epic might be a prequel to some other story with a more supernatural focus. Even if it isn't I wouldn't be surprised if you have ideas (or even written elsewhere for all I know) for a similar story with more emphasizes supernatural elements.
One thing that strikes me is that Miley will start losing time when she gets older. She's going to black out for brief periods. Lilly will understand, but I wonder if an important blackout might be a major plot in an upcoming story.
I wondered about how Megan (that's the name, right?) seemed to have a strong combination of Miley and Lilly's features. I thought it might have been Ron's sperm, but I kind of hoped you would go all out and have a child of Miley and Lilly.
I suspect the secret identity would have a cover story of one of their brothers being the sire. Given how difficult the sperm creation was it wouldn't exactly be normal for the secret identities to have access to it.
I like your middle name for Miley better than OTL's. Miley May just sounds nicer than Miley Ray. It also fits the family. Of course Miley chose her middle name as Ray, and I respect that. Still I like yours better.
| WyldCard4 chapter 4 . 5/4/2010
I admit that I giggled at the opening song lyric. Neat contrast with the Hannah songs combined with the occasional love song you usually open with.
The secret identity is one of my favorite narrative devices. Odd, it is so intimately tied with my least favorite, the Masquerade (in a TV Tropes sense). I think you handle their secret identities beautifully. There is a reason they hide the Real Miley.
Luanne vs Amber was funny. I kind of hope you weren't trying for drama there. The two very different psychotic girls duking it out in such a complex circumstance just had too much dramatic irony not to laugh at.
Also there was something about the mental image of Hannah Montana going berserk that made me laugh.
| WyldCard4 chapter 3 . 5/3/2010
A note for my future reviews. I will be using the term OTL for the series. This stands for Original Time Line. An old habit from my background in Alternate History, and just easier than writing out "the series" or something every time it comes up. ITTL stands for "In This Time Line" and will refer to your own fic. Just easier for me to write that way.
Does "Requited" still exist? It seems to have disappeared from LaughLoveLive's profile and I can't find it on a search engine. Still I've found other fics that died like that, and some are on my hard drive. I would enjoy reading a fanfic that you drew such inspiration from, and summer vacation is starting soon.
Hm, I have (briefly) thought of exploring the idea of Hannah's songs being metaphors for homosexuality. A lot of the lyrics can be taken as implying a girl struggling to come out of the closet. I think "If We Were a Movie" is one of the best examples.
A few songs really make me wonder about Robbie Ray in your universe. IIRC he is still her primary songwriter ITTL. Songs such as "If We Were a Movie" and "Rockstar" must have been painful for Miley to sing ITTL. I wonder if he just didn't think about it, was trying to get Miley to accept her feelings, or if he was drawing inspiration from Miley's feelings.
I think the songs really do add something to your fic, you choose such great lines for your openings.
Okay, enough of my rambling...
I really like ... better than ... for some reason, feels more natural.
In case you haven't noticed it has been a weird day for me.
Okay I'll stop now.
Luanne's an interesting character. I think her plot was when I started thinking of this more as literature and less of a guilty pleasure. The poor girl managed to draw sympathy from me, without me feeling that her actions were the least bit justified. Luanne is an absolutely beautiful antagonist. Her resolution was also interesting. I thought of it as something closer to arrest than redemption. The shock just stopped her from being able to fight anymore. Now she's nice, but I definitely don't trust her.
Bringing up Lilly's family, I honestly didn't like your version as much as OTL. I think the divorced parents and working mother justifies her relationship with Miley and the Stewart's better. The complicated home life we have gotten glimpses of seems to explain her emotional dependence on Miley better than the stable home you created.
Hm, not terrible or anything, just my preference. OTL gets it right sometime.
Wait, did you just foreshadow Ashley/Oliver? That's mindwarpingly unexpected.
I always found Miley's OTL weakness to be very strange. She's a dancer, which requires a good deal of physical coordination. That she is one of the worst girls in school when it comes to sports has always struck me as really strange.
Hm, odd review I just wrote.
| WyldCard4 chapter 2 . 4/30/2010
I lost a chunk of the early review by mistake. Sorry.
Amber and Ashley having an internal monologue is interesting. We learned a lot more about the pair. You do have an interesting way of showing vile characters as sympathetic. You first showed this (if I recall correctly) with Luanne last fic. Poor girl, even though she was a completely nuts attempted murderous.
Amber and Ashley are less extreme, but the same skills are evident. Ashley is delightfully unsure of herself as she does the right thing, and is shown pretty well as an idiot who is mostly evil because of her friend.
This makes me wonder how you would do with more flawed heroines. Not that I would actually want a darker fic, the reason I read this one is because it provides such a light filled contrast to all the nastiness out there.
This chapter reminds me of that last point. You manage to be interesting without being dark. Forgiveness and compassion are just as strong foundations in your story as any fic about violence or tragedy can be. This story really makes me wonder about human nature. Our culture stretches back thousands of years, and all of it howls with words of blood and pain.
Your Lileyverse doesn't. It makes me wonder why I haven't seen anything quite like this before. Sure there are undercurrents of heartbreak and loss, but people rise above it.
Hope, I guess that is the word I am looking for here. Your world drowns in it.
I kind of wonder why Miley cares about Lilly being expelled, given their secret identities it might actually make things a lot easier for them if they had an excuse like expulsion to not go to school. Not exactly like they like going, and neither one needs it at all.
| WyldCard4 chapter 1 . 4/30/2010
I just felt like reading another of your fics. I can't seem to write constructively tonight, and just felt like something sweet.
This review is basically going to be me writing whatever comes to mind as I read along. I just felt like doing this.
If it seems too critical for your tastes anywhere just skip it. I don't want you feeling bad for writing something this excellent.
Good and Broken is among my favorite of Miley's songs. Absolute favorite would probably be See You Again. Nice way to start, I always like your starting the chapters with song lyrics.
Neutral, but I wasn't expecting such a long timeskip.
The first paragraph explains why you chose the long timeskip pretty well. We already have Miley and Lilly on the verge of getting married, and you've given more than enough hints (and outright statements) that the two are going to be reproducing young.
A nice opening to the fanfic.
Something about the century being "eight years young" just made me laugh.
As usual the attention to intimate detail is one of the strong elements of the fanfic, and one of the reasons I enjoy it even though I don't particularly like Liley. The little things like grooming habits and mannerisms make the relationship believable.
I do kind of wonder why the two still bother going to school. Sure it is one way of handling the secret identity, but the two don't exactly get anything out of it for their futures. Miley's a rockstar and Lilly's developing into an actress.
Oliver's love life is a surprise, largely because of how well romantic relationships have worked out so far in the fic. Still a first chapter, and a lot can happen about that.
The Heroes cameo reminds me of a reason why I don't like canon Liley. The relationship would be inherently unequal, given Miley's monetary resources. Lilly would have very strong incentives to stay with Miley even if it started going south. I think the girls in canon are not mature enough to handle that situation.
You handle this in an interesting fashion, giving Lilly her own equal career. Your characters are also much more mature and serious about relationships than they ever showed themselves to be on the show. One of the reasons I enjoy this series is that you have developed the characters well in a way that removes a lot of the difficulties of Liley.
Honestly I kind of doubt Amber and Ashley would have remained like this for another year. Given how frequent their attacks were in the first two stories I doubt that the status quo could have been maintained. The two were violent enough that I think they would either have gotten the heroines to leave in disgust or (much more likely) Miley and Lilly would have found a way to stop them by now.
That does not mean I don't really like Amber and Ashely's scene. The two strike an incredible contrast the Miley and Lilly. While the heroines are incredibly tender the villainesses have an undercurrent of violence between them. Miley and Lilly do the best to balance their relationship while Amber dominates Ashley completely. Miley and Lilly are deeply attuned to each other as friends and lovers, while Amber couldn't care less about Ashely's emotions as long as she goes along with her. Well done ma'am (it isn't weird to call you ma'am, is it?).
As I mentioned in my PM I doubt that the record company or Disney would like being so strongly associated with a homosexual star. Disney already receives death threats for Gay Days and tries to deny the event. I don't think most of them would really care, but the likelihood of both the record company and Disney being boycotted for this is realistically going to be certain.
Still it is your fic, and this is a universe where ordinary girls can get possessed by ancient mesoamerican ghosts and wizards lurk in the shadows. You have been absolutely consistent about the company's reaction from the beginning, so this is less a case of implausibility than one of alternative world building.
| inupuppy1596 chapter 7 . 4/20/2010
Your story's are just great i love them. While it may seem like i'm going throught them fast that just tell you how good they are. I haven't read things this fast seen the frist time i read the Twilight series. Great job. :)
| intheparrotsbeak chapter 7 . 12/11/2009
I have decided what I would like to see from your Liley series. I would love to see all of their dreams be fulfilled. I mean, you put them in the story as a way to see the future... So you gotta confirm that what they saw really was true.
Now, I know you have written one or two more stories, but... Have you finished with the Liley world or are you still writing?
And I know it's kinda a spoiler, but can you at least hint at if maybe some of their dreams have been written and approved to be true?
Nice how they changed their clothes and wigs, Cam was very good about it.
Tinker Bell. Haha! Perfect. Tink managed their wedding. Hahaha!
So cute how they call each other Mrs. Truscott. They are just adorable!
HAHAAHA! Carrying across the threshold. Classic with a new twist.
Thank you for helping me find the other half of my soul... Can I get an AWE!
Poor Miles crying she's in so much joy. That's what a true love can do to a person. And even though it makes you cry like that sometimes, a love like Liley is worth it.
Cute, how they talked about their first time the morning after they were married.
I love how Lilly explained the Lola Montana autograph to the little girl. So sweet, and considerate. She explained it so that a little kid could understand.
Wow. Just Wow. That interview with Regis and Kelly. Wow. I wish they would really do that.. the marketing thing. Their faces really are on everything. And if I remember right, Lilly even had Hannah underwear in the story just to prove it. Cut how Lilly likes the toothbrushes though.
And for good measure. I won't ride the Jurassic Park Ride. So I feel Miley's pain.
Can't wait to get started on reading the next installment.
As Always, keep up the good work! :)
| intheparrotsbeak chapter 6 . 12/10/2009
I am thoroughly looking forward to the rest of your liley stories for as long as you will write them. Now, without any longer delay I will continue reading them :)
Ah! The Hannah and Lola Wedding! This outta be a doozy!
The chemistry that you write between Miles and Lilly is amazing!
I love how Lilly and Miley broke the news to Kaela, with such patience. Good Job!
She, doesn’t believe them? Wow…
Sweet of them not to close the park, even for an hour.
I love how when Miley looked out the window of the Cinderella suite you compared the view to the same one the day after they proposed in Vegas.
Four things to say about them both blowing each other a kiss right before the big ceremony… one two three AWE!
That was the perfect way for Lola and Hannah to get married. King Mickey’s royal magistrate.. HAHA. And The one part he says instead of you may kiss the bride… You may now rock the world! That is pure genius!
KELLY CLARCKSON! WO!
Lilly said it perfectly.
“I think we're officially past the girlfriend stage,” Miley said with a grin.
Lilly smiled back. “Oh, I don't think so,” she said. “We're always going to be girlfriends, just like we're always going to be best friends, and lovers, and now wives. We're gonna have it all, hon!”
As I Am is the perfect song, Miley has always seemed to pick that song out specifically to dedicate to Lilly over the years.
Protestors? Oh no!
I think college could be a fun one to read, but I really wanna see them go through the birth's of their child/ren. I know the stories are written already, but I do not know what the later ones are about. I don't know until I read them. I do not peek ahead like some people!
| intheparrotsbeak chapter 5 . 12/10/2009
Have to say. I even like the title of this chapter. Kinda hints at what is coming. United, Tied, Married, they all mean the same thing... well not really but you know what I mean.
The perfect part of the perfect song. "Face to Face, Eye to Eye. You're Standing there." Like a couple standing, facing each other as they say their vows right?
Lilly wears contacts? Hmm.. Didn't know that.
Aha! Thank you Miley! HeHe.
I bet Oliver likes Lu...
But o Lu likes Ron and Ron likes Lu, at least they are leading us on that he does.
That dream... Wow! ... That must have taken either a good imagination or a lot of research. I wondered how they were going to have a child together...
Lilly is so cute, rubbing Miley's abdomen.
OMG OMG OMG! My heart is racing!
Unique wedding vows, can I get an 'Awe."
Wife and Wife, You may each kiss your bride. I am sorry, I laughed.
Very odd how that song played, Cause I played it on purpose...
As Always, Keep on writing like you always do!
| intheparrotsbeak chapter 4 . 12/10/2009
I am not gonna do another comment that long. The Excerpts made it longer. I am sorry, I did not realize it was that long. I guess I like that chapter a lot. HAHA.
I can't believe I have not mentioned how much I like that you start every chapter with a song.
Really good idea how they had two duplicate outfits. Atleast that is what I understood from it.
I still can't get over how my heart races when something is wrong with Miley or Lilly, like when Amber goes after Miley when she is dressed up as Hannah.
GO LUANNE! At first I thought it was Lilly, but WO!
HAHAHAH! Amber does not qualify as a young lady. HAHAHA!