|Reviews for Hyoue's trouble|
| frances chapter 3 . 8/15/2009
its AMANE and there's a couple grammatical error.
| IntelligentFerretFreak chapter 4 . 2/5/2009
So it was all just a dream? It was really good! Keep it up!
| taintedxwings chapter 4 . 11/10/2008
Hahaha. It's not a really unexpected ending since quite a few stories have those endings. As for grammar mistakes, I couldn't find any blatant mistakes when I skimmed through this chapter. Good work! But I did want to point out that...Hyoue probably wouldn't have had the dream yet...since at the end, you made it Hyoue's and Amane's first meeting. It's kind of odd to have Hyoue dream about Amane and himself when they're older when after Hyoue's dream is their first meeting. But otherwise nice job on this chapter.
| taintedxwings chapter 2 . 9/8/2008
This chapter is extremely short (no offense). It's more like a drabble...but otherwise it's somewhat informative. You should add more scenes in one chapter. What you just wrote for this chapter is like..only one scene. Improvement suggestions:
He turned around and saw Mitsumine in the back of him. - this should be "and saw Mitsumine AT the back of him
“Amane is going. Soon in like two weeks.” - sentence fragments - "Amane is going in like two weeks" sounds better
“Since when are you supportive about me and Amane?” - does not flow - "Since when have you been supportive of me and Amane?" sounds better
“What’s wrong with you? Why are you so touchy for some reason today?”
| taintedxwings chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
It's a pretty interesting start but it's really short (no offense).
Also when you typed: You just have to say three little letters. I think you mean three little words.
Some of the sentences didn't make sense as well, e.g: "Tell me Ateko! Is that had to do with Aoi?-"
Ateko grabbed me the other day. “I told you! She is going to go! You know, Granny is nice but the Elders are not. They can be using this to sabotage her, to get rid of her! Zakuro has been used on that purpose already. This is too terrible...I have to confess my feelings...NO! What am I thinking? I have to protect her safety first, not my feelings. I am a koma-oni, not a human. I am merely her tool...
| Unknown Scribe chapter 1 . 3/27/2008
I fell so vary sorry for him.
| Bleeding Prose chapter 1 . 1/2/2008
This is kinda like the manga, but it's not at the same time. Hehe it was good, continue! If you need any help you can ask me, I'll be more than happy to tell you what I think!