Reviews for Simba's Parody
WTF123 chapter 4 . 12/9/2013
I don't know why, but for some reason, this made me more depressed than entertained. Probably because I just can't stand seeing Simba's Pride so harshly roasted when it doesn't deserve it in the least. I don't get it myself, but this kind of thing just pains me.
AnthonyAngrywolf chapter 1 . 8/7/2013
"Noooo," said Simba, as if he were speaking to a stubborn three month-old cub.

Persadiala chapter 4 . 9/24/2012
Almost died of laughter at some o those... Ha, mess of a script...
Persadiala chapter 3 . 9/24/2012
Simba was okay because a rock broke his fall. I just had to point out the irony. Well, here I go:
Oh, the irony!

...Alright, I'm done.
Princess Shania chapter 4 . 12/21/2011
I love you. You have made this the most HILARIOUSEST thing to read ever! HAHAHAHA lol!
Princess Shania chapter 1 . 12/21/2011
You noticed Zazu's new voice too, huh?
sogooood chapter 4 . 9/15/2011
This isn't just the best fanfiction parady I have ever read; its the best parady period. I've never Openly laughed at reading anything before and I laughed The Entire Time I was reading. This fic is divine, with some of the greatest snippets and witty observations I've ever seen.
OMGeeezers chapter 4 . 8/5/2011
OMG... this is hilarious! I can't really say which part was the funniest 'cause I laughed at least every 2 seconds!
mywildimagination chapter 4 . 6/11/2009
Excellent! Much better than the movie! Heh heh. The rhino thing was boring, though . . . until stiff Kovu actually said the word varmint.
yuyuyashasrain chapter 4 . 9/20/2008
Hold on a second... *leaves/comes back four hours later after dying of laughter and somehow resurrecting herself* Okay, I'm good. I loved that fic, dude, that was awesome. I think my favorite part was when you talked about the gorge in the last chapter. That's funny stuff.
yuyuyashasrain chapter 1 . 9/20/2008
I can actually see Simba doing that damn disco thing. Funny stuff. I like your rewrite; I've never thought about some of this stuff.
Nate The Ape chapter 4 . 3/23/2008
Considering that lions are both social and nocturnal, I'm rather surprised that Simba didn't notice Kiara's absence for such a long period too.

I laughed at the second vulture's "We have to make a more dramatic appearance than this. It's our obligation as symbols of death."

"All hell broke loose-or it would've if anyone had drawn blood. Zira imagined she saw it once or twice, but it was really just splashes of mud." *snickers knowingly*

"Kovu, what are you doing? Haven't you ruined enough of my plans?" ROFL!

"Wow. Kiara, you're starting to make a lot of sense." He should've said, "for once in this movie."

I liked Vitani's stage play melodrama " happy, so loving!" line.

"I didn't train you to sit around and sing Kumbaya!" ROFLHO!

Vitani's right about that unusually rapid erosion. Maybe some naughty corporate polluter dumped sulfuric acid into the local watershed! ;)

As long as I'm at it, there was another scene cut from the film right after Kiara says to Zira, "Give me your paw!" Instead of just falling, the older lioness just coldly gazes at her for a second or two, then says in a hate-dripping, stony tone, "No." Then she deliberately lets herself drop into the water.

I like to think she did that not so much because she couldn't stand the idea of living alongside the Pridelanders, but because she saw that this was her opportunity to finally escape from this moronic, half-baked, wacked-out mockery of another Shakespeare play-and took it. I don't blame her, myself.

"Wow, all my hatred is gone. I feel light as a feather!" Heh, sounds to me like Simba has been moonlighting in the informercial business!

Hurray for another appearance by Jeff the puff adder! Great to know Kovu and Vitani have someone in the judicial system to turn to. ;) Loved his "We are. But we're excellent lip readers."

"Well done, my son...for surviving this mess of a script." LOL! But if Simba was able to make it through that, I feel confident he'll be able to deal with anything now.

And well done with this parody. I very much enjoyed it. Thanks.
Nate The Ape chapter 3 . 3/21/2008
What's that meaty, appetizing smell? It's the scent of yet another portion of Simba's Pride being satisfyingly well-roasted by a certain Maran Zelde!

Impressive that you know about Stockholm syndrome.

I enjoyed the hornbill's "I'll teach those Pridelanders not to chase me for no reason, so help me, they'll be sorry..." line.

I would've liked to see a bit more fun poked at the events of the next morning before the encounter with Zira, such as Simba's sappy talk about Scar and fire and goodness and cripes knows what else. JMO.

"Get him, girls. Hey, what about me? And Nuka." That had me in stitches! Speaking of which...

"Blood gushed from his flesh, slicking his golden fur. Wait, no it didn't. There was no bloodshed in this sanitized, kid-friendly universe." Heh, took the words right out of my mouth. And that is a major reason why I never hesitate to depict nature in all its raw realism-sometimes VERY raw-in my writing during similar events. Call it revolt if you care to.

"But Simba was okay because a rock broke his fall." Does reading that sentence and watching that scene make my brain's logic centers shriek in agony? As Simba's uncle once said, "You have no idea..."

"This outburst showed that evil villians have feelings like everyone else. Really. Honest." Got a smile from me there. By the way, did you know that there was a rather poigant scene with Nuka which was cut out from the film release? On it, after saying, "I tried," he then says, "Well, it looks like I finally got your attention," to Zira as his final words.

"Since bloodshed does not exist, her claw just made a pink line through his eyebrow and lower eyelid." And is an absolute insult to the intelligence of every viewer over the age of five.

"So, killing your brother is bad now." Yeah Zira, you're officially a situational ethics wielding hypocrite now!

"Pumbaa carried Simba..." This makes my logic centers cry out in whimpering agony as well, considering that a large male lion weighs 390-430 pounds on average, and a prime warthog boar weighs 150-200 pounds.

I liked the monkey exam, and LOVED Jeff the puff adder! You know, he really should have his own fan club. Nice typecasting too.

"I know he's a threat to me and my lionesses..." Well, well, Simba suddenly talked about Kovu, a strange male, just like a real-world male lion would!

Oh My God! Maran Zelde, you are TOO COOL for using lyrics from one of the most AWESOME songs known to humankind in this fic! If I hadn't put you on my favorite authors list already, I would right here and now just for including some of Beck's "Loser"!

*starts singing* In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey, butane in my veins and I'm out to cut the junkie, *slaps himself, gets under control again*

Anyway..."Is he dead? You already said that vulture." ROFL!

I'm pretty sure I know where you got Jeff's "Don't tread on me!" line from. Very clever, and fitting.

"Kiara, you're grounded for life. You mean literally?" I wonder if anybody's actually tried to do that to their kid. I hope not. *shudders at idea*

That part when Kiara's love is evidently so strong it allows her to bash through the rocks at the back of the cave...well, lions are darn strong creatures, to be sure. But smashing through stone was yet another ridiculous sight that made...ah, we all know the rest by now. ;)

On to the home stretch!
Nate The Ape chapter 2 . 3/21/2008
Another estatically silly, laugh-out-loud chapter.

I liked Kiara's "We just saw each other, like, a few minutes ago," response to the other lionesses' comment on her growth.

"Yeah, kill somethin' and drag it back to the cave." The idea of a meerkat, a PREY species, saying this, is more hilarious than I can express. And then a lion saying "It's disturbing." ROFL!

"...'no problem' isn't the same as 'I promise.'" Isn't THAT the truth! Clearly, Kiara's not as stupid as I thought.

"...loped away to harrass a herd of gazelle." Actually, the antelope being stalked in that part of the movie were topi. It's okay if you didn't know though.

Nice to see Rafiki add some badly needed sensible talk/action here. No, I'm serious. "...with a cat's perfect imitation of innocence." Heh, I've sure seen that before!

"It's the IRS! Hoof it!" cried a terrified buck." ROFL again! Best line in the chapter to be honest.

"...resisting the urge to wince at the sound of his own voice." And I feel the same way. I also feel like chucking small objects at the screen or pressing the mute button.

"Why am I talking to myself?" Made me raise an eyebrow too, believe me.

"That tears it, young lady!" I have NEVER heard that expression before. Funny as hell though!

"Father, you are like the most unfair king ever!" You do not how sorely tempted I was to do an impression of Janet Brady after reading that line.

Yeah, odd how Timon and Pumbaa kind of blipped off the map and out of minds at that point. I'm relieved to see you had them do something nice and constructive.

The whole thing with the birds and Timon made me ROFL like anything! "Not so tough now, are ya-OW!" I do wish Timon wouldn't have such an Indian giver attitude towards Pumbaa's good ideas though. Really. :(

"Fun is when you tease birds and almost get trampled to death by rhinos." Hey, works for this guy!

"...ain't such a blame fool varmint after all." LOL!

" a zombie clawing out of a grave." *chuckles* So you've seen a Night of the Living Dead movie too, I take it?

"We haven't had a musical number in twenty minutes." Yeah, what's up with that?

Liked the dialouge between the ostrich and the hyrax. I too, know just what they are. In fact, I intended at one point for one rock hyrax to end up as the trophy for another first-time hunter in my crossover fic. But scrub hare won out instead. ;)
Nate The Ape chapter 1 . 3/19/2008
*reads, then falls out of chair laughing* Excellent parody Maran! If any of Disney's recent so-lame-they-should-be-taken-out-and-shot-to-put-them-out-of-their-misery direct-to-video sequels deserve to be mocked, it's this wildly illogical travesty.

"Early one morning, a cute lion cub was baptized with juice and christened Kiara." I knew good things were in store just by reading this first line.

"I was too busy staring at the big lion in the clouds to notice..." When I read this one, it understandably brought to mind the image of Ma "on something" if you get my drift, thus multiplying the laugh factor.

Yeah, considering how Nala was in the first movie and the fact that she's A LIONESS after all, one would think she'd be just a bit more proactive and have more of an aggressive say in Kiara's upbringing. Liked your at least semi-logical explanation for Zazu's jarring voice difference in LK2. Too bad the scripwriters didn't try to.

"...when are you gonna tell Kiara what the Outlanders did to get kicked out?" Forget Kiara, I'VE been waiting for a decade!

I found Timon's Western talk hilarious here, as well as what Zira says.

"Timon and Pumbaa were wrong: there are plenty of things to worry about." Isn't that the way it always is when you become a parent? Simba singing We Are Family-BWHAHA!

Yeah, I've wondered more than a couple dozen times how Kovu could not go just neurotic, far less sleep, through a spectacle like that.

Great stuff.
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