|Reviews for In The Beginning|
| Jacqui chapter 22 . 2/29/2008
I just read your entire story from start to finish, and it is truly awsome! It was fun to watch your writing change and improve with each chapter until in the end it flows beautifully. Your insight made it a wonderful story, and I truly appreciate your take on "breaking dawn".
To improve your writing, I noticed you sometimes use the wrong word, for instance no versus know. Proofreading is a learned skill.
Generally very good, I really enjoyed it!
| bellarina chapter 22 . 2/28/2008
Great way to wrap up a wonderful story! It's nice to see them 100 years later with just as intense of a love as when they were first married. Thank you so much for giving us a well thought out intelligent story to read while we wait to see what Stephenie has planned for our favorite characters.
| Ruby Red-ink chapter 22 . 2/28/2008
very cute ending! loved it! great job on the story as a whole...very creative. hope to see more form u soon!
| lisadianemill chapter 21 . 2/23/2008
I really liked this chapter, it is about time Jane got what was coming to her. Will this be the end of this story? I hope not, I find it fascinating. You are a very good writer. Your imagination is amazing. Keep up the good work.
| katiebee93 chapter 21 . 2/23/2008
great chapter i lover bella's power and you did a great job of explaining it! kudos!
| ladie red chapter 21 . 2/22/2008
firstly, I love your story! So many Twilight fics get posted on FF daily but to be honest, the quality is far from perfect. This story had a brilliant plot and kept the same tone and characterisation of Stephenie's work. I want more excellent Breaking Dawn stories like yours...if you know anymore you could recommend?
The only constructive critisism I could give you is to space out your dialogue, start it on a new line each time a new person begins to speak. And maybe some more comedy in the dialogue...but that's only if I'm being REALLY picky!
Keep up the good work, I look forward to more from you!
| lil pink pixie chapter 21 . 2/22/2008
great chapter! the action was amazing...and bellas power is pretty interesting...great job...and im looking forward to the next one! soon plz!
| bellarina chapter 21 . 2/22/2008
Wow, what a very clever power you came up with for Bella. I loved how she kicked butt on that creepy little Jane. She is just so wicked evil. It was pretty gratifying to see Bella get to be the one to finally put her down. ;) I've really enjoyed reading your story and am sad to see it coming to a close but I know all good things must eventually come to an end. Looking forward to the epilogue.:D
| bellarina chapter 20 . 2/19/2008
Aw Jacob's back and dealing well with Bella's transformation. The whole pack cracks me up thinking Bella's hot! Seems to be a trend here haha. And the votes are in...all mythical creatures agree, Bella is hot. :) I'm nervous about the return of the Volturi and how things will go.
| bellarina chapter 19 . 2/19/2008
So glad to see Jasper coming around now. I was so sad to see him turning against everyone elses feelings on the werewolf thing. I know why he did, after all like Bella said, those Cullen men tend to go a little berzerk over their womens' safety. Just the same though, it's nice to see them all united in thought again. :) I loved how Quil gave Bella a little sign that he they were still friends. ;)
| lisadianemill chapter 20 . 2/19/2008
I am really enjoying your story. I am glad Jacob has decided to behave himself & admit that Bella & Edward belong together. I hope to read more soon, very, very soon.
| Ruby Red-ink chapter 20 . 2/19/2008
these chapters were so sweet! loved the resolve between jake and bella. cant wait to see what uve got coming next! update soon!
| Harmoney233 chapter 18 . 2/18/2008
wow IN THE BEGINNING wow that is a powerful story...i love it and if you were to write more to it i would love it even more. you are a powerful writter...
| x-lexi-x chapter 18 . 2/17/2008
I love your story can't wait for you to write more!
| bellarina chapter 18 . 2/17/2008
Well that was one tense room! Jasper's reaction surprised me at first but then I realized he would do anything to protect Alice just like Edward would to protect Bella. I can see how it would be tempting for Bella to grab Edward and try to hide a way but I'm glad you had her do the brave thing and continue to face this problem head on and consider the family's needs first. It's the way she will always be, putting others before herself. It's one of her strongest qualities that makes her so loveable. That and her bravery of course lol.