Reviews for Temari Shikimaru how sex really gose
jack chapter 1 . 3/25/2014
i totally agree with how shikamaru would not be aggressive one but next time make it a lot more discriptive lol
Maddog24 chapter 1 . 9/30/2012
OMFG! Yes this is so how I would vision a sexlife of Temari and Shikamaru. I for one do not like to see couples when in fact there has been no signs that say they are in a relationship. Walking together is not a sign and I loved the filler where Konahamaru was trying to fight Temari and Shika saved him. He (Shika) didn't even know she had come to the village!

Yes the mushy romance of Shika and Tema is way over done so your perfect analogy in by far the best I have seen.

Not going to get into writing style, spelling or grammar as people that comment about that are nit-picking and a long as you can read and understand the story than its fine and that's what matters most.

Great Job!
onetikakawachi chapter 1 . 5/25/2012
This makes so much sense! That is how Shikamaru "Lazy ass" Nara would do it. But...

I think even Shika would get a little more excited when having sex...at least for his first time that is.
whutevah123 chapter 3 . 9/22/2010
wow, the whole way of acting is pretty much like them, BUT i think that anyone, even shikamaru, will stop being lazy when it comes to , even i will do it, and im pretty lazy..even my principal thinks so!

but the whole idea of the way they act is pretty good. there are many fanfics where shikamaru and temari are completely different to who they really re. shikamaru is a completely lazy-ass and temari a badass bitch(which is freaking awesome).

PS.i dont speak english that good, so sorry for any grammar problems...
disagreer chapter 1 . 5/5/2010
yeah, it's sometimes overblown, romantic mushy stuff. but remember what his pappa said about women? it also implies that Naraites will also spend their energy on something worthwhile. and shika does, on occasion. cause it's worthwhile. :D

Writing style...I HATE A/Ns IN PARENTHESES. They don't work. Horrible. Shitty. Flow interruption. Never. EVER. Use them again. I'm serious here. Stick them at the bottom, or like superscript them.
Though...taking into account it's a kinda humorish comic relief story...ehh...they still interrupt the flow and reduce the...hmm...laughyness?
Lythya chapter 1 . 3/16/2009
You're just so so so right! Shikamaru is freaking lazy! I think if one is a really good writer, you could make him energetic about this while still keeping him in character, but, well ... Good writer is needed for that kinda stuff xD
Hmmm chapter 3 . 11/26/2008
It was okay, the negative critics are exagerating. The spelling is not very good, but i sometimes spell terribly like on msn. However i felt that the story was incomplete in a way.
JT Jewels chapter 1 . 4/5/2008
Again Jester, Bitch slapped by the critics... damn man, I know you're using word pad, but for the love of christ just use the editor that your profile gives you!

-JT Jewels
KittenClaws chapter 1 . 3/3/2008
I didn't think this was as bad as the reviews made it out to be. There were punctuation mistakes, a few spelling errors, and the story was almost like an incomplete thought. However, I wouldn't go as far to say "your spelling is under the level of third grade." But with some tweaking, I think it could be really good.
El Timo chapter 2 . 2/24/2008
fix spelling to improve your stuff, course may be out of you hands so whatever.

for the record i'm about as close to shikamaru as a real person can be, half closed eyes and all. but while yes we're pretty much bored and lazy all the time, we still have hormones. me and my girlfriend get together and that testosterone starts pumping and i wake up in a big hurry. though i do agree that temari would be the dominant one. not angry or anything, just saying. and i'm sure you're tired of reviews for this thing so i'll shut it...
BABABLACKSHEEP chapter 1 . 2/21/2008
this was horrible

your spelling is under the level of third grade,

u didn't even TRY to bring me in the story,

and your writing talent stinks on ice. not much of a talent anyway...

iv done more soc. st. homework that was more enjoyable then this -.-

try better next time, even tho its impossible for a bitch like you to improve
Christa chapter 2 . 2/21/2008
u spell "dose" like this:

does

; u were close tho

and i dnt think it was as bad as some of the reviews said
Shikamarugirl7 chapter 3 . 2/11/2008
You may be right

he probably would be too lazy for much of anything
Matti.Rose chapter 1 . 1/11/2008
his not that lazy well not in the shipuuden at lest that iv seen and look at it this way temari or ino and inos a bitch so yea, good story.
Topaznik-Citrine chapter 1 . 1/6/2008
LMAO! you are actually very right and that is SAD T~T
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