|Reviews for Mad World|
| Riddle-Snape chapter 15 . 4/16
it was really great fic, but end?... not fan of that... just get to one persona and that's it? no more things to do? like talk with sasuke or itachi and all... pf, and another fic for this has just 2 chaps, soooo you messed up end, could be better
| Frazilia chapter 1 . 2/6
I loved it! It was sincerelly one of the best naruto fics I've ever read. Everything was in there, great descriptions, great dialogues, the characters were not OOC even Kyuubi which I find impresive and the story line was to die for. Seriously it's really original and the fact that you kept going back and forth between young naru and old naru was keeping me on my toes the whole time. The narusasu relationship was also incredible and I think that was exactly what I'd been waiting for. Thank you for writing, didn't sleep the whole night and I had class but F**k it.
| LavenderMYSTery chapter 15 . 1/26
This was a really nice story, though the ending was lacking. I enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to how you'll be writing the revamp.
| GreenTea2000 chapter 3 . 5/16/2016
Interesting story, good grasp of characters and personalities. Definitely will add this to my favorites
| HikariKurayami88 chapter 15 . 8/21/2015
I liked this. Especially the first few chapters were good. Later on though you seem to have forgotten that they are ninja. And that Lee can't use any chakra at all. So the whole subplot of Naruto teaching Lee his jutsu to help him and Gaara is just wrong. Nice ending but kinda weird and confusing with the mentally aging outer Naruto... I definetly liked the conclusion though!
| noMuku chapter 15 . 12/15/2014
No that can't be the end! Come on!
| duchessme chapter 15 . 9/12/2014
it was a unique plot
an amazing fic but too sad to know that when the end is near,there's no more chaps coming.
Hope one day it will be completed
| Y0ur-Mus3 chapter 15 . 8/30/2014
This was really good to read. I wish there was more Sasunaru moments though but I can't really complain for the moments they had were certainly mind numbingly cute. The one thing that I will complain about though is the fact that I feel you rushed the ending. What happened to Sasuke? (Well we know but where is their reunion I'm sure other readers aside from me were looking forward to the reunion between older Naruto and Sasuke). I felt it missed important key points/paragraphs in the very last chapter. It was a good read but the ending was short a bit cut off-yknow snappy. It was missing things but otherwise very good job done on this.
| ILuvIY17 chapter 15 . 5/6/2014
This i s beautiful! I love it to pieces.
| Guest chapter 15 . 4/17/2014
And lastly, this final chapter was a bummer. It feels like a couple of paragraphs are missing at the end. Where was Sasuke? Why didn't we get to see his reaction to the New Naruto? I didn't support the decision to make Little Naruto into the bad guy to begin with, so to me, it didn't feel like ending the story with Naruto's victory over Little Naruto was climactic enough.
Part of why I thought the arrival of Itachi is where the fic jumped the shark is because at that point, it seemed to me you'd run out of ideas. Itachi showing up was a cool thing to throw in, and since there hadn't been a bad guy, why not make it be Naruto's other personality? All this stuff didn't fit that well with the story, in my opinion.
In my opinion, the story was Naruto and Sasuke connecting because of a set of very strange circumstances. You could have made the second half of the story be about Naruto and Sasuke's romance, but there wasn't any romance. Or, there was, but it was all one-sided. Sasuke finally started feeling something for Naruto, but Naruto didn't feel anything back. That's really depressing, and not what I'd been hoping for from a fic tagged "romance."
But even if you lost faith in the pairing and didn't want them to end up together, we still should have gotten a little bit of Sasuke in the end. Since there were two Narutos in this fic, Sasuke was our most consistent main character, so it definitely felt like something was missing without him. Even one little paragraph where he and Naruto meet and we can see his relief that Naruto is okay would have been fine. :/
| Guest chapter 12 . 4/17/2014
Making Little Naruto into the villain bothered me as well. We spent more time with him in this fic than we did with Big Naruto. I liked Little Naruto. He was sweet and his relationship with Sasuke was cute. And unlike Big Naruto, Little Naruto actually had a crush on Sasuke. Well, he did, until this part of the fic decided to pretend that all of Little Naruto's fluttery feelings around Sasuke never happened. :/
| Guest chapter 9 . 4/17/2014
This to me is the part where the story jumped the shark. There was simply no purpose in bringing Itachi back to life. It's nice that you wanted him to live, but there's got to be a pretty important reason to resurrect a dead character. Itachi coming back to life should have had a major impact on the plot. But it didn't at all. He was just there.
Doing something just because you want to isn't good storytelling. I could write a character with my name and have her be the strongest ninja in Konoha AND be the girlfriend to Naruto and Sasuke just because I wanted to. But if I did that, people would be right to flame the hell out of my fic.
So what did Itachi do after he came back to Konoha besides make out with Sakura and turn Sasuke broody? Did he cure Naruto's split personality? (That was the plot after all...)
| Guest chapter 15 . 2/24/2014
I can sincerely say I liked 14.5 chapters of this fic. Unfortunately, the final .5 was a real problem for me. The ending is the last thing we see in a story, so it's the thing that has the biggest impact on our feelings about it. Well I can see the majority of your readers had the same WTF reaction to the ending that I did. I feel like I would just be repeating what everyone else said in writing this review, but yes, this ending felt very rushed and unfinished. Both the writing and the character development give the impression that the fic is unfinished.
Just look at the last sentence: "Everything would be fine..." that's one of those 'famous last words'-type of sentences. In a horror story, whenever someone says that, you know they are about to be killed. And then you added the ellipsis at the end instead of a period giving a sense of foreboding, as though everything will NOT be fine. A period means closure, while ellipsis imply a continuation...
And I can't say this is a satisfying ending at all from a character development standpoint. The major struggle in this fic was SASUKE's, not Naruto's. It was Sasuke who spent the entire fic trying to save Naruto from his split personality. Regular Naruto didn't join the struggle until halfway through. It's nice that our Naruto got to overcome his insecurities about Sasuke leaving, but Sasuke was the one who fought from beginning to end, and in the last chapter, he just disappears. We don't get to hear from him about what he thought about the new Naruto who was a combination of young Naruto and regular Naruto. Sasuke was our main protagonist. It was far more important to give him a resolution than it was to give Naruto one. (Ideally, they both should have gotten one, but if I had to pick between them, Sasuke's storyline was the most in need of closure.)
On top of that, if we are talking about getting closure for Naruto's storyline, this wasn't a satisfying way to go about it. The ending implied that the main reason Naruto needed the other personality was because of his fears that Sasuke would leave him. Seriously? That was part of it, but what about EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED AT OROCHIMARU'S? Sorry for the capslock, but that was such a major, major part of the conflict that it demanded the capslock. Naruto was tortured and mentally broken during his captivity. It wasn't just Naruto's insecurities that created his other personality, it was torture that did it!
Apparently some pretty horrible stuff went down involving Sasuke as well, yet the fic left it unaddressed. Good lord, why? That should have been stuff both Naruto and Sasuke were working through and yet Sasuke seemed perfectly fine about it all, as if it was no longer affecting him. How is a thing like that possible, given that he was controlled for years and tortured in front of Naruto?
Rather than throwing in the thing with Itachi to upset Sasuke, it would have been far more relevant to the story if Sasuke's own difficult past at Orochimaru's had started to bother him instead. Then Naruto could have also started to work through what happened to him there and an ending where he defeated the split personality he formed while being tortured by Orochimaru would make more sense.
As things stand now, the ending makes it seem like the major problem between Sasuke and Naruto was trust issues, yet the story didn't do anything to show how their trust in each other grew. If anything, from the very beginning Naruto had nothing to worry about with Sasuke. Determined to help Naruto from the outset, he started to visit him as often as possible, and then agreed to let Naruto move in with him for a whole year while he was recovering! If that doesn't prove Sasuke is a man you can trust, I don't know what would! And we knew all this by the middle of the fic, so it was unnecessary to make the ending like both parts of Naruto were now going to work together (to keep Sasuke).
And lastly, the romance. Was there any? Younger Naruto had a crush on Sasuke, yet when he took over at the end, the fic forgot all about the tingly feelings Sasuke made him have and instead bro-zoned Sasuke. (It's like the incident when younger Naruto got aroused while Sasuke was tickling him never happened...) Regular Naruto never once got comfortable about thinking of himself as gay for Sasuke! Even after they'd kissed, Naruto didn't think about the incident very positively. When he tried to think back on it, he said it was hazy in his mind because he wasn't into kissing guys.
And poor Sasuke finally did start to have romantic feelings for Naruto, but they were never truly returned. All we know at the end is that they will have "a perfectly normal life," whatever THAT means. A perfectly normal heterosexual life? Is Sasuke back in the bro-zone? Or has Naruto realized he actually wants him for something more? We don't know because the fic never tells us.
The fic wasn't perfect and there were things I would have changed (Itachi returning was so random; what happened at Orochimaru's really needed to be addressed; Naruto and Sasuke needed more sincere discussions about their past); however, I think most readers would have been fine with the fic if you had given Sasuke some closure at the end and clarified their relationship. An epilogue could have taken care of that. It would have been simple and easy. But instead of that, all we have is an unfinished two chapter rewrite of the fic that will never be completed. Too bad. :(
| Asha chapter 4 . 10/6/2013
"By the third day, Sasuke was sitting next to him, intently coloring a pony. "
And incidentally, interesting premise for the story, and very well written.
| Guest chapter 15 . 5/12/2013
... cant wait for the next chapter :3