|Reviews for The Kid|
| Iscah McKrae chapter 28 . 10/31/2013
"You just made Lorelai Gilmore stop talking. You say it, I cook it. On the house." "My kid. Huh." "Our" "I think you should lower the median age for our kid's coffee consumption. I mean, she is an Honorary Gilmore." "If you two don't hurry up I'm going to drop out of school." "I'm not sure Principal Merten will be able to handle that."
The image of Jess running, lopsided smile and all, with Annie on his shoulders, toward her school.
"This time, running?
It felt a lot like being home."
Definitely heading for the sequel.
I'm also really hoping that you'll respond to my reviews and we can discuss story things. I know this story was quite awhile back for you, but...still. I'd love it if you/we did/could. Thanks.
| Iscah McKrae chapter 25 . 10/31/2013
I swear, I can hear the Walton's music playing... LOL.
I'm glad she said it. I'm glad he admitted his feelings never changed. I'm glad that Rory admitted she was still scared he'd leave. In a sense, I think it was good that she was there to hear Annie voice the same fear, and see him be this little girl's rock, going nowhere.
(and I think I may have to use the line about telling bad dreams helping to make sure they don't happen if I ever have kids)
| Iscah McKrae chapter 24 . 10/31/2013
I told you I'd probably skip reviewing in Mish chapters...but, this. Wow. This is everything. This is all of it. This is... Thank you for tackling the hard stuff. Unflinchingly. Thank you for going where this needed to go. Thank you for letting Rory be strong for Jess, for letting Jess be strong and come unraveled at the same time, and for letting Lorelai actually make completely the wrong call, and realize it. You played that out so beautifully that I didn't actually see it until Lorelai did. Then I went back and reread it with Emily's voice in my head, switching "Lorelai" for "Rory" and "child" for "kid," etc. and it all works. Lorelai rarely realized how much she and her mother were alike, in both good ways and bad.
The line that blew me away: "But, I can be Rory," she answered, forcing herself to be calm. "If you ever want to know who that is, I'll be around. My things will be out of your way tonight."
I cheered for Rory, while tearful, when she pointed out that Luke had never loved Lorelai any less because she had a kid to raise, that Luke had always been good to her. The things that needed...needed so badly to be said.
Lorelai had done the responsible thing. She had taken responsibility for her child, even though she was only 17 when she needed to start doing it on her own. Jess may have been about 4 years older when he started taking care of Annie, and almost 10 years older when he started doing it on his own, but this wasn't his child. She wasn't there, in this world because of his own actions. He loved her and took responsibility for her purely out of love; not out of necessity, and he stood up to much sterner circumstances in order to be able to do it. And, if Lorelai can't respect that and stop seeing the "bad boy" who never really was... then... then she's not the Lorelai Gilmore she once was.
| Iscah McKrae chapter 16 . 10/31/2013
Best parts: Glib agnosticism, Sookie (not) being one of the people he'd been mean to, "I don't think the world is ready to see me in a dress," "He's not a man that reads much," fingers entwining in jacket pockets, the view of the bridge, she memorized it, the Mississippi swallowing then satisfied, he still inspired her to go back to Yale, she just likes winning, he's dealing with the arm chewing, mom just knows and you buttoned your blouse wrong.
| Iscah McKrae chapter 15 . 10/31/2013
Um...Lane? The whole friends thing went out the window with the words "It's a date," even if those were not the exact words, the sentiment...of dating...precludes being just friends.
Why do I have so much trouble visualizing Dean with a moustache?
"Kid means stuff stays PG, PG means the twon doesn't take me outside the church and set me on fire. Not that it wouldn't be worth it." - Priceless!
I was wondering if Annie was reminding Luke of his kid sister. Gah! That's gotta kill Jess.
"She was choosing him. No one ever chose him." - Ow.
The woman in Mississippi. Wow.
I don't think it's at all unrealistic for Jess to initiate the talks. As scared as he is, and as hard as it is for him to open up, I've always had a hunch that of the two, it was actually Rory who was the harder nut to crack...who had shallower secrets, but that it would take a great deal more for her to really open up to somebody. Not that it would be easy for Jess. Not at all. But, she already has a small glimpse of the hellishness of his childhood. To have revealed that much without bolting...Jess has to already be willing to let Rory behind his defenses.
| Iscah McKrae chapter 14 . 10/31/2013
Little girl, big fire? Intriguing.
I SOOOOOO want a copy of that Stars Hollow Gazette! Sorry, Jess.
"It's the Stars Hollow Gazette, renovated since the town crier gave up his job 150 years ago. One of the oldest papers in the tri-state area." XD
Rory's reiterating, "Well, it had a very small circulation" made me hoot, cackle and stomp my foot a little (just thought you should know. ;) Okay...I feel stupid now, and terribly inept at Spanish. How did I miss the pueblo part? And, chico does *not* mean girl. LOL. Great conversation...particularly the bearded lady bit and Jess wanting her to come over, of course, and not wanting her to come over...and Rory's impression of the guy telling the girl when he'd call her back was 100% Lorelai-inspired awesomeness.
Annie...the tooth...POOF...Brian and Lee...because they're twins...from the tooth fairy. I can't explain how much I love that!
Funny Jess-as-a-dad frequently ends up imposing penalties involving reading time in my storyverse as well. ;D Strict, but not too strict.
How did Rory know about the fish in the mason jar? Was that an uncannily accurate guess?
In other news, I'm scrolling through cravings like a pregnant lady (which I'm not) at 9:34 am. Presently, I want raw mushrooms and macaroni and cheese. I just might have to make some.
| Iscah McKrae chapter 13 . 10/31/2013
"You're irksome, Dodger," makes me grin.
Rory's never been to a drive-in? Wow...an aspect in which Lorelai woefully neglected her education!
I'm glad you weren't cliche about drive-in movie displays of affection. It's very Jess/Rory to have a drive-in movie date that *actually* is about watching the *movie.*
I officially want to see night bloomers
Something else I have in common with Rory. I'll take a perfectly romantic moment and insert a totally inappropriate-to-the-scene reference (Good Will Hunting, Rory? LOL) that could spoil the whole thing, but my husband shushes me gently and preserves the atmosphere in the nick of time. Very real...very sweet moment.
I loved every minute of it. Contrary to the standard reader, I'm actually reading despite the rating, so don't be surprised if I drop off reviewing at what you would consider a key chapter. I may be skipping over some "M"ishness.
| Iscah McKrae chapter 12 . 10/31/2013
Okay...I didn't review the last two chapters...mostly because it hurt, partly because I was reading in snatches between conversation with my husband and my mother-in-law. My husband glanced at the screen during Luke's near-altercation with Jake, and played Annie, calling out Luke's language. XD You definitely hit the nail on the head with Jess' trip to Liz's place (I almost typed "home," but recoiled as my fingers brushed the keys. I'm glad Luke saw that, painful as it was, because Jess deserved to have his uncle's respect and understanding. By the time he slumped to sleep in the truck, I wanted so badly to gather him into a hug.
Rory's epiphany regarding Jess hiding in books...was...perfect...as was her crying for him. Heartbreaking, but eloquently and genuinely written.
In this chapter, I adore Annie, Luke and the catfish. The awful part? She's exactly how I imagine Liz as a little girl - and yes, I have taken the time to imagine Liz as a little girl, and Annie's prattly, precocious self is...just as I imagined her. Out of curiosity, why and how do you imagine Liz came to be...well...Liz? With the family she had? With the same steady people Luke had raising him? I've got my own very, long, drawn-out, complicated headcanon on the matter, but I'm very curious what yours is.
I also appreciate Lorelai taking Rory to Weston's, followed by the shopping trip with Lane. "No. You're a Gilmore. We're not insane. We're a bit touched in the head." That whole conversation was perfect.
It's also great that Luke made Jess carry a cellphone, despite his aversion to them, as a necessary evil for keeping track of Annie.
Excellent chapter all-around.
| Iscah McKrae chapter 8 . 10/30/2013
cowboy hat - ouch
Of course we've got lurking, threatening Dean. *eyeroll* Definitely in character, sadly. I hated what he said, but I loved the way you had Jess call him out on it in a whisper, not getting nasty in return, but reminding Dean to be what he'd always pretended to be.
After learning that, I'm glad Jess kissed her on the *forehead*. That indicates affection with an appropriate lack of possessiveness. Rory's change in wardrobe is excellent.
Jess' message was delightfully evil, and Lorelai's response was great.
Rory scaring Jess awake made me smile.
How Luke found them was realistic and easy to visualize. And, yeah...he'd just let 'em sleep.
| Iscah McKrae chapter 7 . 10/30/2013
One of the most realistic "Rory gets some idea of what Jess went through" scenes I've ever seen or contemplated writing.
I love Jess saying that a tutu over overalls "looks good" to get out of further shopping. XD
Interesting that he doesn't want her "passing on [her] eating habits to the kid"...veeeeerrry interesting. *grin*
I can't really visualize Jess singing country, but I'll agree it made for a cool moment.
(And, wouldn't Annie have been relentlessly asking questions about why they were leaving and why Rory and Jess had reacted so intensely to looking in that window? Not that I want them to have to explain something like that, or use an evasion, but it just seemed like something a kid would NOT take unquestioningly.)
| Iscah McKrae chapter 6 . 10/30/2013
Lane's honesty-very much Lane. I'm kind-of guessing that she won't be anti-him for long. In fact, I may be judging incorrectly, but I think that 50% or more anti melted during the course of that conversation. I'm glad she could reassure him a little, and that he has someone else who understands...or at least...who gets it? I'm not sure how to put it. Lane hasn't gone through anything like that, but she understands complicated situations and is empathy epitomized and a fierce defender once she's on your side. I guess that's it. She may be temporarily anti-Jess, but she's still making herself his ally. And that's awesome.
(loved Annie's giddiness over *twins!*)
"Jess looked straight into Luke's eyes. 'You don't owe me anything.' - 'Maybe not. But we owe the kid,' Luke replied. 'And you can't sleep upstairs forever...' Jess nodded." - I love both of those men to a completely unreasonable degree.
Lorelai logic at its finest.
Supportive Lorelai is hilarious. Awkward Rory and Jess are adorable. Frustrated Jess is awww-worthy. Amused Luke is chuckle-prompting.
Just like everything else, you've got Rory and Lane's friendship down to a beautiful science. Even Zach's brief appearance-dead-on. I love everything. And, I'd tell you if I didn't.
| Iscah McKrae chapter 5 . 10/30/2013
"Annie tugged at Jess' pants.
Jess tore his eyes away from Rory just for a second, catching his breath as he leaned in to hear what Annie wanted. She whispered in his ear.
Jess straightened back up with a small smile, and trying to keep his voice steady, he fixed his eyes back on Rory. Once again, unintentionally, she became his rock and his undoing.
'Annie asks if you could please stop saying hell in front of her,' Jess said, never looking Dean in the eye.
Rory, in spite of herself, smiled."
This whole passage is complete gold. (I have to wonder, living with Liz and her boyfriends/husbands, how Annie was that sensitive to coarse language...but, it still somehow feels right.)
I like that he criticized her writing. Not harshly. Just honestly. That IS their relationship. What makes them right for each other.
"...so far my village is full of ogres and gentlemen with swords all waiting to cut my head off..." - Funny thing is, in my own writing, I can't seem to get away from perverse fairytale analogies when Jess and Rory talk to each other. It just...fits. Happy to see I'm not the only one.
Jess' magical "really really" laugh... Your writing is tremendous.
| Iscah McKrae chapter 4 . 10/30/2013
"He looked at Annie. Maybe he could just leave her here with Luke. They'd take her. They'd discard him, but her they'd learn to love." - You've got my heart aching for Jess all over again. Not that I didn't expect it. I'm not sure it's possible to have a Jess-centric multi-chapter that doesn't make my heart bleed for him now and again.
"we have to go tell some people we like it here" - *lump in throat and cheering*
"You can't have this meeting," Luke said, raising his voice. "He's been through enough. Do you think he'd be here if he had anywhere else to go?" - Every time I think I can't love Luke Danes any more...
And ranting Luke Danes calmed down enough to sit with his hand raised, waiting for Taylor to call on him? Wow. Talk about restraint. Glad Luke stared Dean down. And Taylor is taking his life in his hands talking about a poster child for teen pregnancy (though, Jess would have been 20 when Annie was born, right?). He probably only dared to utter those words since Lorelai hadn't arrived yet.
Jess standing up to the crowd. I think I feel as proud as Luke would.
"Lorelai, still a bit taller than Rory, caught a glimpse of the hurricane." - I'm not certain there's ever been a better use of metaphor.
"Some hurricane, huh?" - You can say that again, Gypsy.
| Iscah McKrae chapter 3 . 10/30/2013
Excellent description of how being a foreign correspondent affected Rory. Supremely realistic.
Love the satire with the hurricane warning. Seems like some time in my lifetime there was a "Hurricane Jess/Jesse/Jessie/Jessica" but Google isn't retrieving any such information. Must be losing my mind again.
"You're it, kid." Priceless. - ("I want to be evacuated just like everyone else. XD)
| Iscah McKrae chapter 2 . 10/30/2013
Oh, good gracious, I wish this was finished or still being updated! I've only just finished the first chapter, and it's priceless!
On a serious note, I'm glad Luke finally sees the way Liz needs to be handled, and has 20/20 hindsight in the fact that he should have done the same when Jess was a kid. I love that Jess immediately threw his last cigarette out the window the second his sister asked about smoking. 100% Jess. So is packing the bags and ditching town at the first clear-cut signs of abuse. The conversation between Luke and Jess on the subject was impeccably written. Such a small thing, but that's why I like it: the cool bottle Jess put up to his forehead. It's a detail that feels very true to life.
The fun part: There's a TREE PHONE dedicated to NATURAL DISASTERS AND JESS?! Pure awesome-sauce! And, I love Gypsy thinking Jess was trying to hug her to soften her up and get her to fix his car...and the fact that she told him she would even though he didn't ask.
I also love that Jess told Annie to: run wild but keep close. Again, it's pure Jess. He's got the Danes protective instincts, but innately knows the kind of freedom that a kid needs so as not to be suffocated.
Also, Gypsy pointing out the motorcycle jacket with no motorcycle. That's exactly a point that SHE would make...and such a good one. It feels symbolic. Strangely, it feels like his direction to Annie: run wild but keep close. That actually epitomizes Jess - responsible and trustworthy and sturdy at the core, but with enough inborn spirit and externally imposed rough living that he's naturally wild/rough around the edges.
I'm so glad that I have so much of this story to read.