Reviews for Harry Potter and the Sword of the Hero
ATemporarilyLostPhyz chapter 1 . 10/26/2011
That was delicious. It read at once like a book and a film. It was a nice combinatin of fluid prose sort of prolonged awkwardly by cinematic flourish.

The legend of the Oath is very convenient and fits nicely. Well done, lucky you!

I loved the dialogue between Gryffindor and Slytherin. It was not written in a cornily heroic and theatrical way.

I do, however, think you could have been less obvious and implied in the text that the simplest spells were the best, instead of having to point it out repeatedly to the reader as if he or she is unable to gather it from just the text. As they say, show, don't tell. But it was just a minor offence!

A wonderful, perfect first chapter overall.
Bill chapter 6 . 10/24/2011
Why do I think Ethan/Tom is moldiemorts son
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 31 . 10/23/2011
I wish had another listing category in addition to 'favorites'. I think your work is very fine, and yet I can't say this is really one of my 'favorites'. I do believe in happy endings for one thing, so in that sense this piece is unsatisfying. I often find myself disagreeing with your statements of philosophy, or at least wanting to debate the opposite point of view.

I do like super!Harry stories, and this one certainly fits that category. I like that he takes control of his life and gets some combat training, but he should have gotten more training in how to heal himself and others. The injuries that he's able to continue functioning through are unrealistically morbid relative to the vigor and duration of the fighting that he sustains with those injuries. It makes your story surrealistic in a crack!fic sort of way.

Your story would be stronger with fewer words; especially the more philosophical sections need to be pared down drastically. Concentrate on action, description, and dialog. Anything else gets in the reader's way. You would have a more satisfactory ending if you stopped with Harry stepping onto the portal, and skipped all the mourning afterwards. That way you end on a more obvious and ambiguous cliffhanger.

Spelling could use some additional work. Stork is a bird, not a blade of grass, that's a stalk. One stores things in the drawers of a desk, not draws. A trigger is depressed, not suppressed. But these errors are down to a tolerable number.

Keep writing. You have an exemplary imagination, and that's the most important thing.
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 24 . 10/21/2011
Definitely over-angsty for an adventure story. Surprisingly mature writing for a teenager.
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 5 . 10/20/2011
Pretty lame version of the Fidelius charm. And the Hogwarts wards were already proven to be lame enough that Bellatrix had no trouble flying onto the grounds with intent to kill Harry. Not to mention the failure of the wards at 4 Privet Drive. With 'protection' that poor, why bother? Of course, JKR did no better, really.
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 3 . 10/20/2011
You left a few misspellings. Several times you used 'quite' when you meant 'quiet'. I wouldn't complain about so few, but you did say you tried to edit them out, so I thought you would want to know.
dmort2071 chapter 1 . 10/17/2011
Reading this one again, because fuck all why not. Although the last few chapters of the trilogy made my brain hurt but whatever.
Auto Cerebral Star chapter 30 . 10/11/2011
Holy mother of... Wow. That was... intense. Hmm.

Darn you... it's two in the morning and I have school tomorrow... this is all your fault!

But meh, reading this chapter was way better than sleeping anyway. Now I must resist reading the final chapter in favor of actually getting some sleep tonight...
Auto Cerebral Star chapter 17 . 10/8/2011
Awww... you killed him. Jerk.

Well, I suppose the incredible action in this chapter made up for it... But I expect continuing awesomeness in future chapters or I may change my mind! :P
Auto Cerebral Star chapter 16 . 10/8/2011
Please don't kill Ethan... *puppy eyes*

I know you already wrote this story but one can still hope...
Auto Cerebral Star chapter 6 . 10/5/2011
Wow... wow. Excellent story so far, and I'm only six chapters in! I love your character Ethan already.

By the way, I calculated and your combined "Harry Potter And X of the Hero" trilogy in only about 100,000 words short of JKR's original version. That is so incredibly long, it's mind boggling. I don't know how you did it, but I know I will be enjoying this for many, many weeks to come. I love long stories! :)
Notableword chapter 2 . 9/12/2011
As others have mentioned it is unrealistic of harry to fly to Hogwarts instead of flying to The Leaking Cauldron or Kings cross both places closer than bloody Scotland. Or he could use the Knight bus.

This could be easily fixed small paragraph that mentions Harry suspecting (having a vision/seeing) Death Eaters are patrolling the major areas in magical Britain.
jupimako chapter 31 . 9/3/2011
wow... just wow. that was amazing. i am so glad i found this story after it was complete. if i hadn't... i don't know if i would have been able to survive the suspense!
jupimako chapter 1 . 9/1/2011
well, that was a hugely awesome prologue. can't wait to read the actual story - going now :).
Bar00n chapter 31 . 8/30/2011
I'm pretty sure I've read this story many years ago but I just read it again:) not many stories I've read more then once;)

Didn't like that you killed ethan so quick, he was just ment for more. Great story!:)
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