|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Sword of the Hero|
| Hippothestrowl chapter 24 . 2/15
Another turn-taking-chat action scene ruined by bad timing and illogical folly. :(
| Hippothestrowl chapter 19 . 2/14
Seems a very inefficient way to learn swordplay: keep trying until you accidentally get it right.
| Hippothestrowl chapter 18 . 2/14
Much better chapter than the last. Both had interesting story ideas but few can write believable fight scenes, and Ethan was a waste of space and a big let down. Ginny is good but are we seeing yet another repeat of forced separation after stupidly making her a target? A good story has waves of good and bad for the hero but this story is mostly bad for Harry so it's a downer much of the time. Most of it is readable and even immersive but I have to skip over some of it.
| Hippothestrowl chapter 17 . 2/13
Dreadful. It's always the action scenes that authors are unable to visualise or describe clearly. Logic and time are ignored. The multiple enemy all lose any separate identity and intelligence, but instead become a single amorphous blob of crass stupidity standing there watching in slowmo.
| Hippothestrowl chapter 16 . 2/13
What an idiot. After all that mystery, Rafe simply goes on a suicide journey to Voldemort without any plan or hope in hell, chats with him to waste any slight element of surprise, betrays Harry and his friends because he knows Voldemort will easily milk him for any info he might have, and hopefully he's dead now since he's been of no use to anyone except help Harry begin to learn Apparition. Why did Dumbledore have him brought to Hogwarts in the first place? I thought all this time he had some great secret that would be of use - like the magical equivalent of high explosive strapped to his body under his robes so even if Voldemort escaped, he might kill a few Death Eaters. Oh, no, I forgot, after plotting for days, he forgot to put on any robes! Amazed he wasn't still in his pyjamas to be honest. I am truly staggered at his stupidity.
| Hippothestrowl chapter 6 . 2/11
Good chapter. Interesting new character added into the mix on Harry's side (presumably.) Just as well as the story was become weighed down by failure instead of a balance. Pretty good writing. Enjoyable.
| Hippothestrowl chapter 3 . 2/10
Haha! OTT but certainly grabs one's attention! Now I'm hoping Bella couldn't stop in time and finishes up as sliced turkey.
| Simianpower chapter 5 . 7/30/2015
NOW I remember why I stopped reading this last time. Characters being stupid to maintain plot. "No place is safer than Hogwarts" even AFTER acknowledging that it's simply not true. ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD is safer. He should warn them, they should warn their families, and if anyone in that entire chain is remotely sane the entire families should relocate overseas. An international terrorist is PERSONALLY targeting you and your kids, you fucking well move! You certainly don't depend 100% on a spell AND a man who've both failed before with fatal consequences. In canon, it's pretty clear that Hermione never told her parents the full extent of the danger, but she also never had a personal bullseye on her forehead. If the only two people you care about are targeted, get them away from the attacker and simply leave!
Also, your new rope spell is identical to the canon Incarcerous spell used in book 5 (and possibly before). I love it when authors come up with new spells, or new purposes for old ones, but not so much when they just rename old ones to seem different.
Anyway, I'm out. I don't think I want to spend several hundred thousand words worth of time on this story. It's not bad, but it's not grabbing me. 5/10 or so.
| Simianpower chapter 4 . 7/29/2015
Wow, this version of Remus is a fucking dick! Y'know that recently wounded, recently grief-stricken son of your best friend, who you thought was dead for a bit, and who still can't walk without a cane? Why don't ya just GRAB HIM BY THE THROAT AND THROW HIM INTO A WALL to make a conversational point, eh? He won't mind! Oh, and then hide relevant info from him and abandon him right before the funeral of his last family members. That's what a friend does, right?
To be "fair", that last bit is what canon Remus would likely do. He wasn't a great guy, either. I really hate most of Rowling's characters as written. They're so callous!
| Simianpower chapter 1 . 7/29/2015
This is recommended all over the place, but so far I can't see why. It's pedantic, somewhat preachy, and corny. Some examples. "Everything has an opposite." Really? What's the opposite of KoolAid, or a pillow? "Simple spells are always the best." A little simplistic there, eh? And "Not knowing the [Cruciatus] curse, he did nothing." I'd think that the ones you do NOT know are the ones you'd dodge first!
Plus terrible (and random) usage of old english.
Plus a MORONIC Griffindor, who really is too stupid to live. And has a very limite spell repertoire. Terrible fight scene.
I'll continue reading for a bit because I like long stories, and this does get a lot of favorites, but I'm not impressed so far.
| Epeefencer chapter 5 . 7/17/2015
Where's Ginny in all this?
| Guest chapter 29 . 6/2/2015
Snape is a viy of a prejudiced git. Very IC. I really like this story. Your writing is very good. Very gripping.
| Guest chapter 4 . 6/1/2015
A pure 24 carat vold earring costs 12 galleons and some robes cost 16 galleons? How unrealistic.
| English Major chapter 24 . 3/20/2015
You have some truly excellent ideas and some unique plot twists that I really enjoyed. However, your English skills need some severe attention. One cat: cat. More than one cat: cats (NOT cat's). One Potter: Potter. More than one Potter: Potters (NOT Potter's). More than one Death Eater? Death Eaters. NOT Death Eater's! Pluralizations do not, ever, require apostrophes. This is Primary School English you need to learn. Belonging to one Potter: Potter's. Belonging to more than one Potter: Potters' (or Potters's). The possessive requires an apostrophe, always. Also, you often use the wrong one of their/there and too/to. Paying more attention to every word you type will greatly improve your readability. Other than the grammatical inconsistencies your story is quite original and engaging. Thank you for your contribution to Harry Potter Fan Fiction.
| Shadowed Sorceress chapter 1 . 3/4/2015