Reviews for Harry Potter and the Sword of the Hero
Pandor4 chapter 31 . 4/21/2008
loved it. Absolutely wonderful. I hope more readers find your story because it is brilliant. Can't wait to get started reading the next part!
Pandor4 chapter 2 . 4/20/2008
ops. re-read my last review and realized i said trask would be a nice addiction, rather than addition. a clear sign that it is time for bed.
Pandor4 chapter 19 . 4/20/2008
got to this chapter before I decided it was time for bed. like trask, think he will be an interesting addiction to the story. Anyways, will probably finish it tomorrow. just wanted to let you know I am enjoying it so far.
Pandor4 chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
a good beginning. Makes it interesting to think that this oath is what has been propelling voldemort and harry together all this time.
fred2008 chapter 31 . 4/1/2008
Good god...your one cruel writer...but a good one at that. on to the next great, yet very mixed great adventure we go...
Voice of the Nephilim chapter 3 . 4/1/2008
It seems that the Death Eaters who were sent to intercept Harry were from the lowest caste, aside from Bellatrix. Eight against one should be able to take down Harry without even breaking a sweat.

With the advanced warding around Hogwarts, I would have thought it would be impossible to penetrate by broom, unless one of the professors were to take down the protections themselves.

Oddly enough, I found that the entire scene with Dumbledore approaching the head of the Great Hall, and the accompanying scene, were quite effective on an emotional level. I don't really know how to better describe it, but it was well written.

I think a lot of brooms have Anti-Summoning charms on them, but maybe that Death Eater didn't make a lot of money, so had to get one of the lower-end models. That's a nitpick, especially since I did like the idea.

Decent chapter.
Voice of the Nephilim chapter 2 . 4/1/2008
So, a few things I noticed:

Why is Voldemort just going to assume that Harry is dead? Figg's death was explained as "in case Harry survived". In case Harry survived, Voldemort is still going to want him dead. With all the times Harry's slipped through Voldemort's hands, I really doubt he would just assume Harry would be killed outright, especially considering Wizards are more physically tough than Muggles.

Why didn't Harry warn the Dursleys? Harry knows that Voldemort doesn't take prisoners. This case wouldn't be any different. This is the type of mistake that I can't see him making, since the Ministry debacle should have matured him enough to think of others' safety above his own.

The "point me" spell used in this seems a little over-powered, but that's a nitpick more than anything else.

Aside from that, there was a lot of good in this chapter. Harry's budding friendship with Dudley, and the rifts it caused within the family, were well done. I can see where the rudimentary boxing skills he's picked up will come in handy.

Voldemort breaking the Blood Wards seems to be a little impossible, or why wouldn't he have done it immediately after his resurrection, especially considering he didn't have to personally see Harry to break the wards, he could have done the ritual in Egypt, then sent one of his Death Eaters on a suicide mission. This story is still in its infancy, however, so you probably do have a better explanation for this, as well as to the particulars of the ritual Voldemort led.

However, putting Harry on the run this early into the story is a good one, since it shouldn't really be that easy for him to make his way to Hogwarts by his lonesome.

Decent chapter, we'll see what the next one brings.
Voice of the Nephilim chapter 1 . 3/31/2008
A decent beginning. The first part seemed a little long-winded, since you spent time making a point with the Crusades (anyone who doesn't find the Crusaders completely culpable is deluding themselves), then proceed to de-construct it by using the WW2 analogy.

The fight seemed a bit awkward. I don't know how to say it, but to me it just didn't feel like it flowed very well. Yeah, real helpful suggestion, I know.

I guess we now know what the Sword of the Hero refers to.

A decent beginning.
SirPoncyMcPonce chapter 1 . 3/29/2008
Oh pants… I stopped reading after the first few paragraphs…

You capitalised letters where they are not needed, such as after semi-colons, and the sentence structures can alter; you don’t have to use one line paragraphs to keep people interested.

The major problem, however, is the historical factors you tried to incorporate. You mention the Crusades, plural, yet say that the only opposition to ‘Christians’ were the Turks. In actual fact, most of the fighting was done by the Catholic Christians against any enemy of the Pope; be they Turk, Egyptian, Hussite or even Orthodox Christians. You say that history sees one side evil and another good, but I beg to differ; history may be written by the victors, yet anybody who managed to pass their GCSE history knows that sources can be biased and will not judge on a single viewpoint. It is our own assumptions on evidence given which predetermine our viewpoint. Your original philosophy on Good and Evil seems to be wrongly presented, and so has deterred me from continuing with this FanFiction.

Can I also point out that in nearly every base Religion there is a point where your philosophy does not cover; be it Heaven, Nirvana, Shangri-La etc. “Beginning supposedly, with Heaven and Hell” – In actual fact Heaven was created before Hell, and existed without a ‘yin-yang’ balance; according to the one source we have on the subject, of course.

“Did the Turks think themselves as evil? Who knows?” Those are stupid rhetoric’s, because they were fighting not only for their lives and those of their families, but also for the right to believe what they wish; there is no question on which side is evil and the other good because it was mindless oppression. Both sides committed atrocities in the first and second Crusades, to which I believe you are referring when you say ‘Turks’, and neither can be painted with either brush. The world is not black and white, and too many people view this.

While an admirable attempt at a prologue, it brands this FanFiction to be one where Harry is completely right, and Voldemort wrong. In your logic, you should be thinking ‘are the Death Eaters evil? Who knows?’, but that can’t be because you identified two entities; Good and Evil. There is no middle ground; no grey area.

So, I have been scared away; in all honesty the pairing didn’t help, and neither did that one review saying how Harry used ‘stupefy’ in a battle to the death with the most powerful Dark Lord ever (according to cannon) which is another clear example of Harry remaining the sole bastion of all that is ‘Light’ or ‘Good’.

Just thought that I’d add in my two cents because you said that you were re-doing the chapters to exclude error and believe that the prologue should be edited. Hastala-vista. Dark Stallion.
Mersedes chapter 31 . 3/17/2008
YOU ARE THE MASTER OF ALL ACTION SCENES EVER DEPICTED. THAT WAS BLOODY AMAZING. HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU EVER WRITE SUCH A MASTERPIECE? I'M ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED AT HOW WELL YOU WRITE. YOU WRITE THE ACTION SCENES EVEN BETTER THAT JK ROWLING. I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH. YOU'VE GOT THE PERFECT AMOUNTS OF EVERYTHING IN HERE! EMOTION. DRAMA. SUSPENSE-OH I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THE SCENE WHERE YOU MADE IT SEEM AS THOUGH REMUS DIED. ANGST. I LOVE THIS FIC! I ALSO LOVE YOUR WRITING STYLE-THE WAY YOU SWITCH BETWEEN TIMES. THAT REALLY MAKES THE STORY ALL THE MORE SUSPENSEFUL. YOU'VE DONE A BLOODY WONDERFUL JOB HERE. MARVELOUS. SPECTACULAR. AMAZING...THIS IS THE BEST HARRY POTTER FANFIC OUT THERE. GREAT JOB. AND THANK YOU FOR WRITING SUCH A PERFECT FIC. IT'S BEEN A PRIVILEDGE READING IT.
kyoshi chapter 17 . 3/17/2008
The only problem I have with stories is that in a battle to the death you have harry shooting stupify. The adage is kill or be killed not touch and poke.
munchnzoey chapter 31 . 3/6/2008
good story!
Red Death chapter 5 . 2/26/2008
I'm still trying to figure out HOW author's thought they could get away with calling it "DADA" class and not "Defense" or the full name, "Defense Against the Dark Arts." It just makes them look like lazy kids who type in all abbreviations, or worse: the "l33tspeak" used by the truly pathetic.

It's almost as bad as using numbers as words. "I graduated 4 years ago."

Neither are grammatically allowed, and both drive readers absolutely up the wall.
Red Death chapter 3 . 2/26/2008
A tip, though I'm sure you already know this and will correct it soon: Lyrics (such as the Five For Fighting lyrics at the top of this chapter) are banned. Any instance of them are instant grounds for deletion. No exceptions, allowances, or exlanations. They don't even allow you a saving throw. They've *all* got to go.
Margarite Isabelle chapter 8 . 2/19/2008
reading this story has been very nice. it seems that just about everyone has written some sort of alternate to book six or seven and a lot of them aren't any good, so it's always nice to read one that is written well. your a/n about how much your writing style and ability has changed over time is very true, i can totally tell a difference. i read what you have done of 'wastelands of time' before reading this and its almost like they are written by two totally different people. your writing style has less mistakes and flows more smoothly now than how it did when you wrote this. still, your ideas outshine any minor spelling or grammar mistakes you make in this piece. as i said above, i always enjoy finding a long story like this that is done so well. granted, i haven't finished it yet, but i'm sure i'll have plenty more good things to say when i do. i hope you have the rest of the sequels up and edited on this site soon as well.

isy
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