Reviews for Harry Potter and the Sword of the Hero
Kyntor chapter 15 . 6/19/2008
Try not to project your own likes and dislikes onto your characters it hurts the immersion. I am sure Will Smith is a good actor, but it has no relevance to the story. Also, be wary about introducing pop culture into a fantasy story. That can destroy the immersion as well.
Kyntor chapter 8 . 6/19/2008
If Harry can defeat death eater after death eater, he should not have any problems with Malfoy. Making fights that shouldn't be close, close just for the sake of drama hurts your credibility.
Kyntor chapter 6 . 6/19/2008
I found the quotation that in order to achieve peace, you must prepare for war ironic coming from an Order member. First of all, one of the reasons for their failures is becuase they are treating the conflict with Voldemort and the death eaters as law enforcement instead of a war. Also, the Order has not prepared Harry for war.

Harry's quick reflexes are legendary. Are you sure you want Rafe to show Harry's reflexes up on his first day at Hogwarts?

JKR has gone through a good bit of effort in the first 5 books in order to foreshadow a Ron/Hermione relationship and a Harry/Ginny relationship. Ignoring this in your story will create continuity problems. You will need to deal with a Ron/Hermione relationship and a Harry/Ginny relationship before you move them into a permenant relationship.
Kyntor chapter 3 . 6/19/2008
Harry is flying on one of the fastest brooms in the world (Firebolt) and he is one of the best quidditch players in a century. I find it hard to believe that the death eaters can hang with him in a chase.

If the death eaters can find Harry, so should the Order.
Kyntor chapter 2 . 6/19/2008
The watch is too expensive for the Weasleys to afford.

Considering how many times that Harry has escaped near death, why would Dumbledore and the Order believe Harry is dead until they see a body? The reasoning seems a little specious to me.
Thereviewer chapter 1 . 6/17/2008
"majority of civilisation"? The majority of civilisation was in the east not the west, so technically the lines wrong and there is a sense of bias against the enemies of the crusaders who weren't turks but Persians or the ancestors of modern day Iraq
Urahara Fan chapter 31 . 5/29/2008
wow...it was very well written and I can't wait to find out what it all leads to!
Pandor4 chapter 31 . 4/21/2008
loved it. Absolutely wonderful. I hope more readers find your story because it is brilliant. Can't wait to get started reading the next part!
Pandor4 chapter 2 . 4/20/2008
ops. re-read my last review and realized i said trask would be a nice addiction, rather than addition. a clear sign that it is time for bed.
Pandor4 chapter 19 . 4/20/2008
got to this chapter before I decided it was time for bed. like trask, think he will be an interesting addiction to the story. Anyways, will probably finish it tomorrow. just wanted to let you know I am enjoying it so far.
Pandor4 chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
a good beginning. Makes it interesting to think that this oath is what has been propelling voldemort and harry together all this time.
fred2008 chapter 31 . 4/1/2008
Good god...your one cruel writer...but a good one at that. on to the next great, yet very mixed great adventure we go...
Voice of the Nephilim chapter 3 . 4/1/2008
It seems that the Death Eaters who were sent to intercept Harry were from the lowest caste, aside from Bellatrix. Eight against one should be able to take down Harry without even breaking a sweat.

With the advanced warding around Hogwarts, I would have thought it would be impossible to penetrate by broom, unless one of the professors were to take down the protections themselves.

Oddly enough, I found that the entire scene with Dumbledore approaching the head of the Great Hall, and the accompanying scene, were quite effective on an emotional level. I don't really know how to better describe it, but it was well written.

I think a lot of brooms have Anti-Summoning charms on them, but maybe that Death Eater didn't make a lot of money, so had to get one of the lower-end models. That's a nitpick, especially since I did like the idea.

Decent chapter.
Voice of the Nephilim chapter 2 . 4/1/2008
So, a few things I noticed:

Why is Voldemort just going to assume that Harry is dead? Figg's death was explained as "in case Harry survived". In case Harry survived, Voldemort is still going to want him dead. With all the times Harry's slipped through Voldemort's hands, I really doubt he would just assume Harry would be killed outright, especially considering Wizards are more physically tough than Muggles.

Why didn't Harry warn the Dursleys? Harry knows that Voldemort doesn't take prisoners. This case wouldn't be any different. This is the type of mistake that I can't see him making, since the Ministry debacle should have matured him enough to think of others' safety above his own.

The "point me" spell used in this seems a little over-powered, but that's a nitpick more than anything else.

Aside from that, there was a lot of good in this chapter. Harry's budding friendship with Dudley, and the rifts it caused within the family, were well done. I can see where the rudimentary boxing skills he's picked up will come in handy.

Voldemort breaking the Blood Wards seems to be a little impossible, or why wouldn't he have done it immediately after his resurrection, especially considering he didn't have to personally see Harry to break the wards, he could have done the ritual in Egypt, then sent one of his Death Eaters on a suicide mission. This story is still in its infancy, however, so you probably do have a better explanation for this, as well as to the particulars of the ritual Voldemort led.

However, putting Harry on the run this early into the story is a good one, since it shouldn't really be that easy for him to make his way to Hogwarts by his lonesome.

Decent chapter, we'll see what the next one brings.
Voice of the Nephilim chapter 1 . 3/31/2008
A decent beginning. The first part seemed a little long-winded, since you spent time making a point with the Crusades (anyone who doesn't find the Crusaders completely culpable is deluding themselves), then proceed to de-construct it by using the WW2 analogy.

The fight seemed a bit awkward. I don't know how to say it, but to me it just didn't feel like it flowed very well. Yeah, real helpful suggestion, I know.

I guess we now know what the Sword of the Hero refers to.

A decent beginning.
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