|Reviews for Doing Business|
| xThomas2 chapter 1 . 12/27/2014
| chronodekar chapter 1 . 11/27/2011
I knew what to expect when I came in. It was still amusing to read.
Thanks Overbore !
| Cap'n Chryssalid chapter 1 . 5/10/2010
True crackfic one-shot material at its finest. Reminds me of years ago when the FFML teemed with stories like this. It was good fun, and worth a Fav in my list.
| Vivi007Nee chapter 1 . 6/30/2008
Ohohohoho, that was delightful. XD I absolutely loved it. Something that could improve it, though:
The possessive form of "its" has no apostrophe.
As in, "It's a cat, and it totally licked its paw!"
Like that! Great job, keep up the good work.
| Ganheim chapter 1 . 2/18/2008
We. Got. A. Call.” She stressed.
[The many things that stress could imply.]
and call tell Ukyo that you’re training.
[Which? Call or tell?]
[A, not An.]
It’s windows are covered with plywood, it’s furnishings all removed, it’s three stories empty.
[“It's” is the contraction of “it is”. To use the possessive, you need “its”, without an apostrophe.]
but inside it’s perimeter,
[See “its” note above.]
Kuno, you Jackass!”
[Missing opening quote mark.]
and find you flirting with you floozies again!”
[Since she identified Ranma as the “you” earlier in the sentence, shouldn't she say “your floozies” instead of the more ambiguous and potentially confusing “you floozies”?]
He shook off the offending chain only doge as
[only _to_ dodge?]
he had ben standing a second ago.
Meanwhile, the fiances
Mallet, spatula, bonbories,
[I need to point out (and you can check .com or Wikipedia if you want), but a bonbori is a paper lantern often hung outdoors. The solid-sphere maces that Shampoo uses are properly chúi, or you can just stick with 'mace'.]
but only resulting in more property damage.
[To maintain consistent verb tense, I think “resulted” would fit better than “resulting”.]
Ryoga had attempted to Breaking Point the floor only to realize that the technique was not a good idea when you are not on the first story.
[Bonus points: 1.]
Any get the time?
[Missing word: Any_one_ get the time?]
the might Blue Thunder!”
[Though it looks like you intended “mighty”, since that would form repetition I think “the might of” would fit better.]
and there is no evidence that this was anything but a routine day in Nerima.”
[Funnily enough, that nearly was a routine day in Nerima.]
Your worth every yen.
[“Your” is the possessive of “you”, what you wanted was “You're” the contraction of “you are”.]
Extremely funny, and besides a few typos it was pretty good.
God bless and happy writing,
| Rose1948 chapter 1 . 1/9/2008
::foflmao while warbling:: "Taking care of business."
| anyahibiki chapter 1 . 1/7/2008
Pretty cool fic, I liked it.
| claymade chapter 1 . 1/6/2008
Heh heh heh... Clever little idea... That does seem like something Nabiki would do. Nice work on this!
| Falkun chapter 1 . 1/6/2008
Cute, very cute, an interesting idea and it had me chuckling by the end, I could almost see the yen signs in Nabiki's eyes and it would be so much in character for her to find a way to make money off of Ranma & Co. 's random acts of destruction, although i guess they weren't so random after all heh heh