Reviews for The Fourth Dojutsu |
---|
![]() ![]() ![]() if things like this would have happened in original series, the Story and character of Naruto will be better than original |
![]() ![]() Dance patterns...interesting... |
![]() ![]() ![]() Knowing how your stories i think this story will be good |
![]() ![]() ![]() Like the reference to Odin's ravens from Norse mythology |
![]() ![]() ![]() When is chapter 20 of the fourth dojutsu |
![]() ![]() ![]() That was a really good story, I wish there was more, thank you for all the work you put into it, oh an you definitely own Naruto btw hahahaha |
![]() ![]() ![]() Porfavor sigue la historia. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Firstly wow, how could you do this ?! Ending your Story with such a cliffhanger is just cruel... That aside I really like how you made up your own storyline and didn't just straight up followed the canon. Honestly I grow tired of all the storys retelling the original storyline, but it is also the Storys greatist flaw. It seems like an alpha version of a potentially great story because many key moments were just mentioned in a senteced and not fully played out. For Example I really would have liked to read the scene in which Jiraya gives Naruto the Flying Thunder God Justsu and one or two training scenes learning the Rasengan. In additions to thoose you schould have also added more senes to gove this story more flavor like adding reactions to the fights in the chunin Exams or what consequences the hidden leave faces after the beginning of the war. I have seen your still active on ff and i'm really hoping you will one day reawrite this story and add a sequel, because nethertheless a really good, beyond anything I could ever hope to fabricate and it has most importantly a original and interesting storyline I hope will be continued and finished. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Please write a sequel to this story. |
![]() ![]() When I was the dojustu name I read it a Rasangen |
![]() ![]() ![]() Interting story |
![]() ![]() godly what if |
![]() ![]() ![]() Loved it |
![]() ![]() ![]() Keeping this short. Writing style is awful and reminiscing of a robot. Naruto is a child, not an adult who speaks with perfect grammar. He is twelve and no matter who it is, no one can gain the vocabulary/speech/thought process of an adult in a year. Writing contains unnecessary words. One example is seen in chapter one. “Unlike other teachers who liked to hang out in the lounge during this time of day, Iruka liked to catch up on grading his student’s homework after he ate his lunch,” as you can see this sentence is long and has way too much glue words You could change it to this. “Unlike other teachers, Iruka preferred to grade student’s homework during lunch” This might not pose much of a difference in one sentence, however with multiple it builds up. It seems our author has just written the story only considering grammar, not style. Could go on about the plot, however, that is a waste of time. (Keep in mind I haven’t read the future chapters once I have, I will alter this review) |
![]() ![]() Is meggido taken from tensura. |