|Reviews for Walking Wall|
| The Exile chapter 1 . 8/6/2010
A nice look into heavy armour knight psychology... Oswin is one of my favourite FE characters.
| Aquatic-Idealist chapter 1 . 2/14/2008
It started as a cute pun, but ended as a tragic but necessary message.
| DarkBlaziken chapter 1 . 1/8/2008
wow...something about Hector and Oswin? interesting!
a walking wall...haha. the ending was slightly sad...but at the start it was kind of humor. great job, esp. the fact that i actually read through the whole of it, considering Oswin isn't really the nicest char. to write about.
first Marcus then Oswin. nice one:):)
| Pureauthor chapter 1 . 1/8/2008
Hm. A pretty nice look into Oswin's nature, and partially on his relation with Hector.
On a canonical basis, I see little cause for critcism. Oswin's conversations with Hector ingame always seemed to imply that he'd been dealing with Hector's antics for quite a while, and he holds a bit of unofficial authority over Hector.
I have to question the technical aspects of the story though - there are certain parts where it seems rather... I don't know, 'choppy' seems to be the most appropriate term. One example would be in the scene which talks about Hector sneaking off to the city to partake in brawling and tournaments, etc. There's a long run-on sentence that switches subjects a couple of times, and it's a bit jarring.
So, overall I believe it's a good piece of work, but you could stand to polish it a bit.
| Kitten Kisses chapter 1 . 1/8/2008
Oh look. You know I can't resist a good FE7 'fic from you!
In reality, I'm also procrastinating on actually writing, so you might actually get a half-decent review from me this time. For once.
First of all, there is a reason I added this to my Favorite Stories list- it's damn good. Seriously. Not only that, it pretty much counts as a "friendship" story, and I just love those. I also love Hector. And Oswin, of course- though he is rarely shown in 'fic.
My only critique for this is punctuation. Well, perhaps not even that. Maybe it's more of a format critique. I do like the way you write- in fact, the way this is written does remind me of Hector. And that in itself reminds me that I should practice writing Hector myself, because I -suck-, but enough about me.
This should be Angst/Friendship. Honestly.
[Oswin chugged around the corner and kindly requested a reason as to why-the-hell-would-you-do-something-like-that-and-what-if-Uther-knew-you-were-acting-like-such-a-crazy-ox]
I think that last bit could be broken up... Perhaps have the "and" not be separated by a hyphen. I think it would look better, at least. The conversation afterward drove me absolutely insane; italics would have made it easier to read. But at the same time, I know why you did it, and it does seem to fit the story well.
[Whenever Oswin left to tend to other matters, Hector took initiative, donning unadorned armor, smearing his face with dirt, and putting on a full skullcap to disguise himself for a few rounds in the arena before slinking back to the keep, pretending he had been out shopping in the town square (hah!) Oswin, Hector’s primary instructor in the art of war, always asked]
I think you missed a period after (hah!) since it's the end of the sentence. Grammatically, I don't know how it would be fit in there... (hah!). (That seems a bit odd.) Perhaps, put a period after "square", and then put, (Hah!) afterward, with a capitalized 'H'.
Sometimes sentences didn't seem to flow right... I think it was more because of the choice of words- the word "and", especially in some places.
Arggh, there was one sentence in particular...but I can't remember where it was, now, and I've re-read it twice. Must not have been that important, then. (But I still think a few more italics for either thoughts- or words that were spoken in the past- would have been nice.
The ending was perfect- sad, but still beautiful in its own way. I think my favorite line...well, section of lines, were these:
[Get the stone and mortar. Get the stone and mortar. Maybe that was the difference, he figured. Walking walls couldn’t be built back up even with the strongest mortar in Elibe, and potions and salves only masked the damage. But walking walls, at least, didn’t sit in the shadow of a grand castle, waiting forever for something—anything to happen. What good was immortality if it came at the cost of freedom? There was pride in being mortal.]
And of course, the very last line that Oswin speaks, because it holds so much power, and does hold true for Hector's future, according to FE6. (He does die in Araphen's castle's dungeon, right?)
I did like the interaction that was shown between Young!Hector and Younger!Oswin. And while I have mixed feelings about the seemingly-random humor, it does fit.
Overall, though, I like it. I really do. The idea of walls and how you used that from beginning to end was fabulous. I don't know where you got the idea, but keep coming up with ideas like it. Wonderful work, WA. Continue writing at your leisure. )