|Reviews for Bern|
| HeyStardust chapter 15 . 11/27
| Yumi-nachan chapter 15 . 10/24/2014
Please update soon...
| ASiriusWriter01 chapter 15 . 2/18/2014
Oh gods...don't leave us hanging! Disturb the peace! Oh how I want to see how a certain queen will act when the war starts up again...
| AquaticSilver chapter 15 . 11/21/2013
| Guest chapter 15 . 6/3/2013
First of all, thank you for creating this story. Without you, I wouldn't have read such a beautiful story! I am so glad I stumbled upon Bern a few days ago. This is one of the first FE fanfic I read and I regret nothing. :3 It is so well structured, I had no trouble reading it. I hate stories that are rushed since I read slow (because English isn't my first language) and I like to savour each word or sentence. This story has kept me on the edge of my seat! I have not read a story as exciting as this for a very long time. I was skeptical at first thinking that this pair won't work but I was wrong. Terribly wrong. Tactician (Kumiko) x Zephiel are quickly overtaking Hector x Lyn as my favourite couple on my FE Pairing list. XD Thank you again for this story. I look forward for the next update.
| DPT24 chapter 15 . 5/23/2013
I have to be honest I don't really like this story. The Journey is good, but this story is very hard to like. Some of that is probably by design as this is a fairly dark and serious story. There is nothing wrong with that. However even with that framework in mind I think there are a few issues. I personally don't feel that the story makes a ton of sense. Anko forcing her close friend/sister figure into a loveless marriage with a potentially crazy guy doesn't make a ton of sense. Same thing with Anko and Jaffar trying to stay by Zephel's side rather than run for their lives. Speaking of which I don't understand why Kumi stays with Zephel, to be honest. Their relationship seems completely insane. The way the two seem to jump between love, hate, indifference, trust issues, caring, fighting are the things I'm talking about here. None of the characters in this story are particularly like-able. Personally Zephel comes off as a psychotic abusive boyfriend, Anko is an awful person and to be honest most of the other characters come off very poorly, Kumi seems much less competent and generally less smart and capable than in the Journey. I don't blame her for her temper issues with Zephel though since he's waging war against a bunch of people she cares about, and the whole relationship is basically against her will anyways. It's okay to have some hard to like characters but the issue is it seems to be nearly everyone. Speaking of Zephel, although there are some very noble traits to him mostly he sounds like an abusive person trying to justify his behavior. I think my biggest issue is the very passive behavior out of Kumi and everyone else (from Fire Emblem 7/Journey) in Bern. Kumi was a lot of things in the Journey but you would never call her passive. If she ran away and sided with Lycia that would be interesting. If she tried to lead an internal revolt or palace coup that would be interesting. If she decided she loved Zephel/Bern more than her other friends and fought with Zephel that would be interesting. Potentially, the idea that the love between her and Zephel as a way to save everything would work, but it would require a little bit less messed up of a relationship between the two. Personally I think it would have made sense if Kumi and Zephel actually cared for each other and had a relationship from right after the Journey, rather than two years before the current story. Then they could have a real, strong basis for caring about each other instead of being their relationship being half borderline abusive and half unstable trainwreck. It also would make Kumi and possibly even the reader waver a bit in which side they're really on. Part of the issue is that there is a very fine line between a deep and very good personal drama and becoming too melodramatic. And the issue here is partly the general issue I have with Kumi and Zephel but it is also somewhat because the relationship/personal issues of Anko, Xiarian, Kumi, Jaffar, Zephel, Matthew, and Mark are too similar.
However, there are some very good parts to this story. Hector and Lyn's plights were heartrending and worked very well. Roy and Lilina's scene's are good. Erk and Cecilia are good. Serra and Erk's improving relationship holds promise. In general your parts about the Fire Emblem 6 war are very good and compelling. While I had a lot of criticisms I really do hope you finish this story and I am looking forward to seeing where you go with it.
Also, the Journey is awesome and I wouldn't complain at all if you finished it!
| patattack chapter 15 . 5/7/2013
Nicely done. Will read more when it comes up.
| DarkBlaziken chapter 15 . 5/7/2013
I...RAN OUT OF WORDCOUNT?
"And yet what if she is the only thing keeping him from being past salvation?" Jaffar countersuggested. "If I had been through all his pain but had one woman who stayed by my side despite everything I turned into, I would have every reason to turn back and change my life." And then he told her, "If you had stopped loving me—if you have given up on me even when I left you—I would not know where I would be now. If your friend walks out on this man, the most powerful man in Bern, who knows what would happen next?"
I DID NOT KNOW JAFFAR HAD THE CAPABILITY TO SOUND FLUFFY AND ADORABLY CUTE
Okay whoaaaaaaa huge chapter of emotional high-ness! :D Liked it very much indeed. Will now reply to your notes:
I don’t think it’s all about childbirth and really I love the implied themes/what is about to come AHMG I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER REALLY
I am fine with friendship for Serra and Erk or romance, either ways it will work, because their romance, if any, has to be built on the basis of friendship anyway. So what you are doing here is really adorbs! I think I’ve already replied re: backstory while doing my running commentary thing, so I won’t repeat but OTL that was awesome. Mindblowing.
AND MATT/XARIN IS SO ADORBS YES PLEASE DO KEEP WRITING
Ow, poor Matt. Totally love your characterization of him as being so jealously possessive here because it totally suits him so well that deep down he is just /that/ insecure and that needy despite the brave uncaring front he puts up.
Cannot wait for Legault and Sain! I’d love for Legault to keep his sleazy and snarky personality just nicely balanced with that touch of maturity and the wisdom of one who has seen too much of the world (that’s how I see him, at least), and Sain…I’d love his womanizing, but if you do a dramatic 180-degree turn on his personality it would be totally believable too and a pleasant surprise. So I leave you open to mould him!
Still on board, and will be forever here till the end of everything. Keep writing, I will wait patiently for updates and do my best to keep replying as promptly as possible (although I am going to the US this coming august for my university studies so timezones will be hell….but no matter how far away I am I will keep reading and supporting you because you are such an amazing writer, and this fic is too good to be abandoned! Gosh that sounded so cheesy but ah hell you know what I mean)
| Vanechka chapter 15 . 5/7/2013
Okay so here goes the word doc running commentary, as always!
SECRET PASSAGEWAYS. I like the sound of that hahahaha. So sneaky! Also, what’s a castle without secret passageways?
OW. Like, 7 short paragraphs in and you give me fridge horror o.o “She had died here, after all, handing herself from her balcony.” NOW I CAN NEVER LOOK AT THE BERNESE CASTLE IN THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN. T.T
The first time that Zephiel grew a backbone and stood up to his father, Anko had told Kumiko.
Ah I get such family feels here! I love young!badass!Zephiel standing up to his corrupt!father for his mother it just feels so right and gives me such feels!
"It connects to my rooms. I can see you whenever I wished. That is my preference. If you moved to another room... would you really like everyone in Bern Keep to know when and how often we would sleep together?"
AHMG have I ever told you how much I love snark, in any form. Snarky!Zephiel is so right. SO RIGHT.
“Zephiel looked thoughtful for a short moment. While Kumiko's suggestion would sound normal to the ordinary man, to a royal of Bern it was not. “
Remind me never to find a Bernese royal for a husband. SERIOUSLY.
HAHA POST-COITAL AFTERGLOW AWWWWWWW SO CUTE (okay sorry for the outburst heh)
And I think I know what you mean by your writing when you were high on sandwiches…? THIS PART WAS SO CUTELY FLUFFY I CAN’T EVEN
I absolutely love the idea of how cunning, manipulative Zephiel, even Zephiel, who distrusts others on principle, succumbs to the great power of love. And also your almost-worship of the sexual act here to something spiritual and not just “hey, let’s have some PWP”, it’s really touching hehe even if it is a bit idealistic (but hey, fics are where we are allowed to be idealistic!) Some wonderful overarching themes you have there – really sweet!
AHMG JAFFARNINO IS FLUFFIER THAN ZEPHIEL/KUMI HOW HOW HOW
Ahh, expounding on trust now, aren’t we? Yeah, I always thought Nino’s trust for Jaffar to be rather strangely unconditional for someone who’s so creepily sinister and obviously untrustworthy…but yeah, THE POWER OF LOVE AND ALL /dies in happy feels of beautiful ideal romances
AHH OKAY MAYBE I WAS MISTAKEN ABOUT WHAT YOU MEANT WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE HIGH ON SANDWICHES.
Also, you take us through all that semi-smut, AND THEN BAM SHE CALLS ALEX’S NAME and I’m like NOOOO and then BAM IT’S JUST MATT’S DREAM and I’m like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO also Matt aren’t you at least 40 by now (or late thirties) why the hell do you still have such a strong sex drive?!
(Also, if he just had such a….steamy dream, methinks it will be rather….obvious…..)
AHA. I SEE IT. HAHAHAHAH DUH HE’D BE FREAKING HARD AFTER THAT DREAM. AHMG YOU READ MY MIND, THE TIMING IS PERFECT.
And, really, you tease! You put adorable, adorable Matt in such an awkward situation, and BAM you cut us to the Ostian castle?! Okay, the castle town. But STILL WHERE IS MY HOT MATT ON XARIN ACTION (hahah jkjk)
“She was just naturally distracting even without trying.”
OHO Erk looks like someone has a little crush here! (Or at least, I hope so!) The Erk/Serra part here is so cute so far that I forgot to type anything for such a large part! Then this line just hit me as TOO ADORBS so I just HAD to comment and that’s when I realised that I hadn’t commented on such a large chunk of text. I love how Serra defies all of Erk’s expectations/acts so much more mature but still retains her adorably Serra-like characteristics. :D
Aww, Serra! So kind! I’m liking her more and more in your story haha!
And I love the little bit of backstory you wound up for her, it’s all very believable and fits into the canon so well I think this could well be what the creators had in mind when they created her! And IDK why but this line “I don't want to make a choice. I'll keep all the children if I can. Lord Oswin and I always tried and waited to have our own child but... it never happened. Maybe this is why.” Just suits her so well and is so awesome and makes me feel newfound respect for her!
“All that was there was the scent of Heath in the air and the furniture and the place, and to remember him would be heartbreaking.”
I see why you said you were high on sandwiches (how is that even possible)! This entire chapter is full of fluff and potential fluff and cute things and sad but lovely things!
Anko couldn't afford to attend early morning meetings because the mornings had cast a horrible spell on her. She felt dizzy and sick every morning that she could not quickly get up on her feet like she used to. The headache was gripping, and on occasions accompanied by an urge to throw up. The problem didn't end there—dressing had become a chore, too. Her breasts had become sore and sensitive to the slightest of things that binding them for her bodices had caused much pain. They seemed to be growing out, needing to be bound twice more. And these were the issues that Anko was trying to solve, trying to figure.
Wow Anko, how dense can you get? ISN’T IT OBVIOUS THAT YOU ARE FREAKING PREGNANT ALREADY (ohh so cute! I’m sure her kids with Heath will be ADORABLE)
Don’t drink wine! Alcohol is bad for the child!
Ah, finally, Anko, bravo. You think of the right reason.
And promptly deny it and DRINK MORE WINE. What is wrong with you?
Also are you going to send subtle pro-life things down our way anytime soon? Because it sounds like there could be a pro-life versus pro-choice debate soon
AWW HEATH HAS TELEPATHY WITH ANKO HOW CUTES
TSK, Matt, so desperate! You are so adorable, oh, you. When you are lovesick.
BIG LET DOWN ALECTO MUAHAHA
Matthew said, remembering Leila—remembering all his spies that died in all manners of ways.
Remembering Leila first, always Leila first. Aw, come on, Matt, don’t be such a possessive guy – let Xarin reminisce over Alex, it’s not like the shadow of Leila is ever going to leave you. Somehow this is really what makes Xarin and Matt perfect for each other – they’re both broken people, but together they would be made whole or something cheesy like that ahahaha
But after a few more seconds Matthew realized something else, something graver.
"...That's why Uther sent you to those kind of missions," Matthew whispered. "Because there'd be no risk of you..."
AHMG UTHER YOU MANIPULATIVE BASTARD
Okay logically speaking it makes sense but part of me is just SCREAMING UTHER HOW CAN YOU DO THIS because it is the illogical part that’s going NUUUUUUU
But then again, this strangely aptly contributes to how both of them are so broken beyond repair that makes them a perfect pair (And evidently Sherlock fics drilled those ideas into me but yeah)
even Leila, although he'd made Leila swear that she will only give her body to another man if her life depended on it – TSK MATT YOU POSSESSIVE, ADORABLE, SWEET BASTARD
Uther was a good man, far better than many worse that Matthew has seen, but he was also a politician through and through, capable of dirty schemes and tactics. But Hector... "Lord Hector?" Matthew asked, sounding every bit urgent, "Did Lord Hector know?"
"...Yes," Xarin told him.
"Then why in the hell don't I know?!" Matthew yelled, slamming his fists onto the table as he got up and started pacing.
AHAHAHA MATT YOU POSSESSIVE GUY DO YOU KNOW HOW FREAKING ADORABLE YOU ARE WHEN YOU ARE LIKE THAT.
"And screw that because they're all dead," Matthew sharply said. "But I am alive and I'm the only man you answer to now, and I'd never tell you to do such a thing."
AHMG HE IS PERFECT CAN I HAVE HIM INSTEAD SCREW XARIN/MATT I WANT THIS GUY NOW HE IS SO CUTE
"Because I'm jealous!" Matthew said, shouting, kicking his chair over. When Xarin just stared at him, he continued. "There! I said it! I'm jealous that I have to always be the last to know because I wished I mattered enough to you to be confided with all this!"
"...But I just confided in you, didn't I?" Xarin said, after a small silence.
"Confided of things Uther already knew, Lord Hector already knew? I'm always just some leftover, I was just the last resort, some sort of..."
AWWW MATT C’MERE I’LL GIVE YOU A HUG
Ahmg you make him such a desirable character here indeed! And yes, you were right, I really enjoy the Matt here. Lovelovelove his insecurities and sense of betrayal and everything he is like a vulnerable little child and that makes him so perfect and he really really needs more love
"I've solved it!" Nino said, as she grasped onto Jaffar's shoulders and shook him a little. She turned back to her books and resumed to looking like a frantic researcher on the verge of a new discovery.
Thanks to my new Sherlock fandom, the mental image here is really confusing….superimposing sweet, innocent Nino on this manic almost-sociopath who’s only interested in solving problems (who is so damn sexy for reasons unknown)…. Nope, not good for my health.
And Nino said just one word. "Perfection."
Oh god why am I sensing scary parallels to Nazism here
It is giving me the tingles
"Have you never thought of that, Jaffar? That is why it never appears like anything is wrong with King Zephiel. He will try to stick to the image of perfection. He is not a man who thinks he is perfect and then acts stuck-up and conceited. He is a man who tries to be perfect and thus, tries to be kind and flawless. He will try to get everything right. But since the people who he loved the most have denied him their own love or left him, he must think that the world is not good enough for him and will try to purge it. But for him, he is doing the right thing."
Nazism vibes confirmed AHMG ZEPHIEL YOU SCARY, SCARY PERSON
"And yet what if she is the only thing keeping him from being past salvation?" Jaffar countersuggested. "If I had been through all his pain but had one woman who stayed by my side despite everything I turned into, I would have every reason to turn back and change my life." And then he told her, "If you had stopped loving me—if you have given up on me
| GamingBoar chapter 14 . 3/30/2013
This story is amazing! I love your characters and plot!
| AquaticSilver chapter 14 . 11/25/2012
What the-? Okay...this was unexpected. I mean i know it's gonna happen sooner but uh..okay.
But before that. Yay! Phew! Finally a new updated chapter!
Doesn't matter to me if you choose to end this fic on this chapter. I'm okay with it.
Besides, yeah, i want it be a mystery or a somewhat cliffhanger to how it goes.
Let it be, to our own choice or imagination, like you said 'Freedom of Choice', how the ending goes (from our head). Well, that is my choice, i don't know about the others.
But, if you decide to continue... go ahead. No one is stopping you. I, for one, might still gonna read it.
This fic caught my interest after all.
Thank you for the lovely fic!
| Vanechka chapter 14 . 11/24/2012
Oh, I hate how they put the review thing as a box at the end now. So I shall create a doc and alt-tab, because usually I write more when giving a running commentary (lol)
OMG WHAT IS THIS? KUMI IS READING FIFTY SHADES OF GREY?! (lul no) But I’ll admit, when you said some “popular literature with erotic content” my mind just jumped to that horrible twilight-fanfiction-turned-BDSM-erotica and I had to chuckle a bit right there.
OMG AWKWARD KUMI IS SO CUTE. While I won’t say that lemon/lime/whatever you call it is my cup of tea, I don’t mind a well-written one—and I see you’re building up to something! But maybe you aren’t planning to make it lemon, so I’ll see how it goes! (And yeah, you did say it’s not lemon at the start hehe)
KUMI DOES NOT KNOW THE SPECIFICS. REALLY. HAS SHE BEEN LIVING IN A HOLE ON THE GROUND. O.O
[[After I nearly killed him, poisoning him under orders of Desmond, I doubt he would ever think me marriage material. He'll have to wonder every living second if I tampered with his food and wine.]]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA poisoning food and wine hahahahahahaha
Omg Anko you insensitive person! But yeah, what you said about guys is like SO TRUE OMG. Guys are so annoying.
[[ And Xarin is... lapping at the foot of that Ostian spy Matthew.]]
HAHA ANKO SOUNDS SO BITTER ABOUT THAT HEHE ARE YOU JEALOUS :P (jokingjoking! But it would be SO funny to have a few characters tussle over Matt ehehehehehe)
HAHA ANKO GOOD JOB KILL YOUR RAPIST YEAH AND BE BADASS
OMG LEGAULT LOLOLOLOLOLOL KUMI YOU ARE HOPELESSSSS, HOPELESS
I like Serra. I really like Serra here. I love how you change the way she thinks and makes her so much more mature and all. It’s awesome. /o/
Poor Erk, forever alone…(ANY CHANCE FOR SERRAxERK OMGOMGOMGOMG)
And awkward angsty Serra and Erk! I can’t tell you in words how much I loved this part. OMG THESE TWO SHOULD JUST TOTALLY GET TOGETHER SERRA ARE YOU BLIND AND ERK ARE YOU BLIND TOO
HAHA I love how you ended that angsty awkward moment, but poor Erk! Meh, I think the two of them are perfect for each other. Erk, stop denying it!
[[Matthew and Heath bonded like two young boys without a care for anything in the world, the lack of actual work for either of them meaning they had nothing much to do.]]
HAHA somehow I can totally imagine this and this is like totally hilarious. OMG.
D’aww! The Matt/Xarin conversation was just so cute because Matt-in-love is just so adorbs omgggg I want more of that!
Yay for Matt/Heath conversation too! I like how the two of them approach things in such different angles. Also, SNEAKY MATT IS SNEAKY :P
Zephiel. SO selfish!
AND JAFFAR HAHAHAHA it’d be cute if Jaffar could be more involved in the fashion stuff though, that would be SO CUTE HAHAHAHA
And, I just kept reading till the end. Haha. This was nothing explicit and it was pretty good! YAY FOR ZEPHIEL/KUMI :D And there are so many other things I wanted to say but I kind of just forgot after reading it and being all happy over the nice sappy ending.
Please please please please please please do keep writing! I really love your writing and I swear it gets better every time you update a chapter. PLUS I want to see some more Matt/Xarin hmmmmmm XD And Kumiiiiiiiii is so cute hahahahahahahahaha
Every time you update, you remind me of all the feels I had for this fandom (I still have them, but the fanfiction here has morphed beyond recognition...). So thank you so much for continuing with the familiar FE6/7 fandom because you hardly see stuff like that around anymore...hopefully I'll see you around next year! :D
| cosmic-mischief chapter 14 . 11/22/2012
I'll admit, I squealed when I saw your update :D
Man... so they finally did IT huh...Here's to hoping for more peaceful days to come...NOT XD
I don't know why, but somehow I'm excited to see how things start to fall apart from this. I guess I want to see Kumiko's reaction as Zephiel falls further and further into madness and paranoia especially after they just did the deed. It would be sad and tragic but it's like storyline gold or something :D
I love how you did Matthew's and Heath's conversation. I find myself agreeing to both sides of the argument.
| patattack chapter 14 . 11/22/2012
nicely done. Good chapter.
| patattack chapter 13 . 6/29/2012
nice chapter. liked seeing erk in this, and him talking with nino's son. wonder how kumi's conversation with anko will affect her relationship with zephiel.
keep it up!