|Reviews for Harbinger|
| Fanfiction Bard chapter 23 . 2/12
Killer Bee is a win! You wrote him so great!
| fiveflyingsquirrels chapter 23 . 2/12
Whoa part two is up already?! And I can see that this was a shorter one but it was stuffed full of comedy.
The dynamics and humor that circulates between Shikamaru, Neji, Lee and Kiba really took the cake in this one. "Dude-talk" at its finest! It's wonderful to see Neji really starting to get along with everyone now as well. The mission objective SEEMS simple enough, but all the strange people they encounter don't make it easy for the team. Oh, and the one little detail left out being that they are up against a lethal team of seven scorned shinobi girlfriends. That'll do it.
I think I lost it when I read Neji asking, "What's a rapper?" It's just so typical that he wouldn't know about rap, that no one can explain it to him, AND that when he does first hear rap that it horrifies him. BTW that little indicator that Killerbee was going to make a cameo had me bouncing with anticipation!
I really liked these two scenes: Lee doing splits, eventually joined by Kiba and Neji in a testament of their respect for women. Peculiar but still hilariously enjoyable. AND Neji's scene on the rooftop at night, thinking of Tenten. That was first-class angsty romance with a captial A that you really don't see often in stories these days. But because you've invested so much in developing Neji's character, it really does have a profound effect when you reveal his thoughts and feelings. Great job! I just want to see him love her up already! Make that happen.
Now, to be totally honest, I was a little thrown with the whole "stupid, carefree groom Sanomune" dude who really should have saved everyone the trouble of an ambush and mentioned, "Oh yeah! I've dated shinobi up until now and they might be mad at me!" Of course, not wanting this fact publicized for his fiancee to hear about is what stopped him, I'm guessing. And it DID spark marvelous intruige, what with poor Shikamaru waking up in a tiger crate in the basement. LOL!
It was all funny and the fight scenes were meticulously coreographed, as per usual, but I just couldn't put my finger on what you were referencing. It was all so silly and distracting that I, a person who clearly lives under a rock, missed a couple of very important clues that what I was actually reading was...
A Scott Motherfucking Pilgrim chapter.
I checked your profile and that gave it away after the you mentioned O'Malley the author. This was so epic, after putting it in perspective. I am glad you mixed Killerbee, Karui, and Omoi in too, who contributed positively (wow go Kiba!) and those raps were pretty decent. Killerbee sounds a little less lyrically stupid than his English dub raps, which were not my cup of tea, while still maintaining that "silly wannabe" vibe Killerbee is meant to have. Even his dialogue is culturally appropriate, i.e. "I'm dope." I LOLed again.
But yes, excellent job with the evil exes and meshing that universe into the shinobi world. You handled it beautifully and I was entertained. This small dose of reckless fun was a nice switch, but it appears you are now shifting back into the serious plot points once again. Tsunade sort of signalled that as she intends to confront Danzo with kakashi and Tenzo at her side?! The woman has some big Hokage balls. Can't wait to see what happens!
| Sabilize chapter 23 . 2/11
Elite level Scott pilgrim references
| euroteres chapter 23 . 2/11
So I was reading this chapter, and slowly I got the feeling that this was a chapter straight out of a crack fic.
And then Bee appeared. I was pretty much 100% sure after that.
Then I learned that this was practically a massive reference to Scott Pilgrim and I became about 115% sure.
Great chapter, liked the revelations Neji is starting to have about what Tenten means to him and I'm excited for where the situation is going from here on out.
| Red Wings chapter 22 . 2/10
A bunch of stuff happened with everyone! Good to know.
Sai has really changed with Neji and Lee. Just a few inspirational words from Neji and Sai's changing his tune. Hopefully, they can still save Sai from the effects of Danzo's brainwashing. Man, what Wong Leung is putting Lee and Neji through makes me want to cringe. At least with Wong's extra-special training regimen, Neji was able to take care of that nukenin.
It's so funny hearing Shika and the boys talk about the girls. So this time, we get to see a glimpse of their thoughts towards the Leaf kunoichi. Ah, Sato. If only you could be more prudent. Lee is so considerate of Chouji's sensitivity, he deserve an award. Shino is respectful and polite, while Shikamaru...I didn't think he could be so vulgar. Ino needs to shut his mouth the next time she sees him.
Of course, the girls think about the guys, too. It's only natural. Too bad we never got to see much of Neji's arms in canon, since he wore long-sleeves. With Wong Leung, I'm sure Neji's getting some lean muscle. Lee, I can only imagine now, is totally buff.
Cripes. Orochimaru knows that Tobi is a triple (or is he a quadruple?) agent now. Obito needs to get his family back into Konoha, or get in touch with Jiraiya and Tsunade or something! That Koinyu...up to no good as usual, and Karin, this is the first we've actually got to read of her.
Sasuke is a terrible, terrible boy. He's such a selfish little brat, after what he put Sakura through, and what he's done to Kiba, thinking that everyone in Konoha ought to agree with his actions. I think he's gone a bit insane. But in the midst of his thinking, he wants his teammates to understand that what he's doing is important. So Sasuke isn't completely far gone. Good thing Kiba got to him in the previous chapters.
Still, Orochimaru doesn't appreciate Sasuke's slinking out just to go on some whimsical revenge spree. Certainly, that Sasuke needs to learn to prioritize, how to manage his time better, and of course, understanding the consequences of impulsive actions, supplemented with weak justification. Ironically enough, Orochimaru got through to Sasuke, so the Uchiha brat turned around to go off somewhere else instead of Sunagakure.
Potential crisis averted, thanks to Orochimaru. Wow. Seriously. The Snake Sennin ain't even a parent or that much of a mentor, too. Shows just how impressive one of the Sannin are.
Zabuza is still being a bastard as usual, but Haku has learned to live with it. Kind of. At least Haku has a new friend, another missing-nin with an interesting Kekkei Genkai, Ranmaru. I'm glad that these boys have found a kindred spirit in each other. So they've found someone willing to teach them Medical Ninjutsu, huh? Cool. Just as long as they aren't found out by their superiors...
And Hinata's new suitor is a kindred spirit, as well. Good thing her father is understanding and on her side instead of the Hyuuga council's. Both clan heirs deserve to be happy. Did Hiashi come up with those demands in order to drive off the Taketori clan? If so, that's very clever.
So, Shikamaru, Lee, Neji and Kiba are going to attend a wedding. I wonder...should two of them disguise themselves as girls? Hehehe...
| fiveflyingsquirrels chapter 22 . 2/10
You are updating quickly these days but I am okay with it! Here is the conclusion I have been waiting for! Sai got his butt saved by Neji and Lee. It was a great scene! I enjoyed that Lee was the only one who could really deal damage at the start, and after he and Neji did the body-cutting-combo of death I’ll admit I was fangirling. What was just as cool was that their enemy didn’t go down right away, giving Neji a reason to slap him around more. Awesome work!
I feel bad for Sai. He’s really torn about what he’s done, and I can see here that he isn’t the complete and true “friend” to Neji and Lee that he became in the canon for Naruto. More than likely that’s due to the short amount of time he’s been featured in your story. It appears as though he was genuinely acting on impulse out of longing for his brother. Now he’s probably going to become Danzo’s whipping boy. Darn. Hope he gets rescued!
The scene in which Neji and Lee join their friends for a hangout was excellent. I could NOT stop cracking up. Every line was so perfect… “You lazy polyp!” “Do not slander the precious pollinators of nature.” “Magnetism.” I had to look them up they were so great! And Lee was cute during the whole thing. Neji hilariously argues with Sato and then just thinks, screw it, and knocks him out. Ugh. Those boys are a riot.
And then back to our kunoichi! Hinata is enjoying the company of Ino and Sakura while sprucing up the house, and they have a sweet chat with Neji. I know he’s supposed to seem tougher, and he is, but there’s also something gentler about Neji and it’s sexy. He’s polite and nice and then gets a tidbit about how Tenten is doing, which ultimately motivates him to defy the Hokage again to pay her a visit. Not gonna lie, I really hope he succeeds this time. I am on the edge of my seat for it.
Wow! Sasuke showed up again, but he’s still the same vengeful ass we remember. How sad it is that he can justify killing Gaara just because he wants to, believing that somehow he will find a way to make Sakura happy. His brain is just wired SO wrong. His oversight with those ninja cats ends up alerting Orochimaru, with said Snakeman stopping him from any foolish assassinations. I am still shocked that he sent Sasuke after Obito. If something bad happens I will blow a gasket, so please don’t go there! If this is an opportunity for salvation on either side, then power to you. It will be interesting no matter what!
Hinata’s suitor was really nice! And the fathers weren’t so bad either! It’s interesting that you would introduce a match for Hinata in this instance because, well, she already has Naruto. She can dust her hands and say she’s all set, but is that true? Staying with Naruto will be a bumpy road for her and it seems to me that her Dad is relatively supportive of her wishes. Hopefully they’ll get to make their relationship official when he returns!
So Shikamaru is leading a team with Neji, Lee and Kiba to protect guests at a wedding? That is more than likely going to be hysterical, if it was any indication by Tsunade’s quip, “Decide amongst yourselves how you will pair off.” I love how you write her. Honestly, I enjoy all of your characters. I am really looking forward to the next chapter so I hope you release it soon!
| samsaraknight chapter 22 . 2/9
What the whaaat? Chapter 23 is ready and you're holding it hostage? dude that is just cold-blooded. then again, you have the entire next chapter ready, so I can understand why you would like getting some feedback before you toss it into a horde of ravenous readers. okay! I'll play your game. let me tell you what I think of this chapter...
crazy awesome. the battle scene at the beginning was pretty much the most epic Neji fight ever to have been thought up, with a major and critical supporting role from Lee. Holy shit! Neji cut that nukenin into pieces, and when THAT didn't stop him, Neji fucked him up even harder. Sai was just sort of there to bail everyone out. But tigerowl, I've gotta say you know how to write an action scene that translates straight to the brain and wows people. This was evidence of that strange, beautiful talent. well done.
Back at home, the boys lose track of Sai (will he be executed? oh shit) confess the ordeal to Tsunade, train with grandpa Wong and do splits omg, and then finally hang out with their guy friends. Yet again, your characterization is not only spot on but it's freaking hilarious. Sato made the scene with his banter, egging on Shikamaru and Neji. He got schooled and left out of the lunch date. It kind of reminded me of what goes on with my friends. And I laughed so hard I cried a little. Later, Neji drops by the Hyuga house and has a short chat with Hinata, Sakura and Ino which was very telling. They picked up on the fact that he's missing Tenten and sort of served as a go-between. Like Ino said, the promise of romance compels them to stir the pot. LOL
Interestingly, you switched over to Sasuke's plot back at Orochimaru's hideout. Damn was that unexpected. Just as soon as Karin appears she gets sent to be a guard elsewhere, and Suigetsu has his eye on Sasuke's villainous plans. P.S. I don't mind Suigetsu's recognition of cats. It sits way better than idiotically calling them tanuki, imo. But Orochimaru knew something foul was afoot when Sasuke tried to launch a very hackneyed attempt to assassinate Gaara, which you made understandable with that terrifying psycho snapshot into Sasuke's mind. dear god. He is stopped by scary snake man and in a twist...sent to track Tobi. NOOOO. Is Obito going to get whacked? What about his family? Wait! they're Uchiha too! Why are you doing this? Don't hurt them! Stoooooooop.
I calmed down. Okay. THAT is going to make for one heck of a dramatic scene, so I'm looking forward to it. At least Gaara didn't get a nasty surprise. Then what was unexpectedly interesting was the first real glimpse of what Hinata is going through. Turns out that the last suitor is a young man who would, in all likelihood, make a great husband for her. OUCH. That was a strike against Naruto for being absent, but thankfully Hinata is not prepared and the Taketori prince was understanding about it. they seem like cool people. is that a real clan?
And lastly, Tsunade assigns a mission to Shikamaru, Kiba, Lee and Neji to oversee security at a wedding. that just SCREAMS hijinks. I am psyched to see the part two comedy fest. Please don't take too long!
| angelic charity chapter 21 . 1/30
as i think let me check to see whether the chapter is up, with the mindset that it wouldnt be... screaming now to see it actually is. totally happy right now. kml think i peed a little. will read this right after my class. that game life doe... can relate.
| Morlin chapter 21 . 1/25
Haha! I am not several months late with this review! Award me for my common courtesy! No? Perfectly reasonable. Let's do this.
Naturally I enjoyed the look into Gaara's ordinary kazekage life. Or at least his daily life mixed with important correspondence and a life-changing meeting with his tummy demon. I absolutely loved Shukaku and Gaara's conversation. It had a nice flow and feel to it. They started out as begrudging existences that they're forced to live with and nice stepped into mutual respect, all while feeling like equals. Very nice. Shukaku's change of opinion did go a bit faster than I would've expected, though that may be due to us mostly seeing him as a rampaging monster more often than not, but it works overall. I also enjoyed his personal musings about Sakura and the inevitable confession he has to make at some point. They are reasonable but laced with natural worry and I find that it makes them nicely reaslistic. Gaara's section of the chapter was a great little contemplative start to the chapter and makes me excited for several things in his story (meeting up with Yugito again, his training with Shukaku to not lose ground to his friends, the jinchuuriki conversation he'll have with Sakura and in general seeing where his and Shukaku's friendship might go).
Moving on to poor Temari and Matsuri. Feels like they got the rough end of this chapter. Confusing matters of the heart for one of them and heartbreak for the other. At least Temari is able to hide it her problems and focus on tasks at hand and be professional about things. Matsuri just got bombed at the end of her section after being happy all the way up to it. Gonna be interesting to see how that turns out since I am pretty sure Memna was interested as well. Good thing that the most mature/emotionally stable sand sibling was her support this time around and not the guy that can crush the entire village in sand. So yeah I enjoyed the emotional distress these ladies faced.
I don't know if it is my Game of Thrones-senses tingling. But all this talk of Haku escaping Zabuza seems to leading up to a big fat nope and everything going horribly wrong. The underlying suspense is killing me. Bastard.
Team Gai's continued trials are somewhat elevated by some advancement in their abilities and some growth in character for them all. The small things like Neji and Tenten slowly beginning to accept their (from their point of views) grumpy teachers, Neji's growing friendship with Lee and the incremental increase in the abilities (except for when Neji just starts wrecking shit in awesomely funny scenes) is one of the many reasons this fic is so enjoyable.
Sai has made his major appearance and he properly brings root with him. And Root is also connected to Bihokokuni, not surprising since Danzo is piece of crap scumbag who works with other horrible people for his own justifications (I'm not a Danzo fan). So far Sai is the same as in the manga, his insistence of nick names and Neji's annoyance about it was terrific fun, but it'll be interesting where his story goes. Though I do think that his opening up to an alternate way of thinking, while well written (honestly it's a really damn heart warming scene to see Neji of all people speak so elegantly and warmly about the virtues of emotions and friendships), does seem to go a bit quickly, like with Shukaku. This is not me saying that I would prefer multiple chapters of characters debating until one side gives in to the positive side's argument, as I said I enjoyed both the Gaara/Shukaku discussion and the Neji/Sai discussion very much. I'm just noting it since it did stick out a little to me. Hopefully Sai survives this encounter and sticks around, it's nice that someone besides Naruto inspired him as well. I like when other characters get to invoke changes in these instances.
Overall, another well-crafted and diverse chapter with lots of elegant writing and characters moving forwards and more excitement being set up for future installments. Or in other words, kick ass job as usual. Keep up the good work.
| Ancestor's Dragon chapter 21 . 1/22
Whoo, finally finished the last 2 chapters. Well, glad to see Team Gai managing to work off their frustration to an extent. I thought introducing Lee's grandfather was pretty interesting. Having each of team Gai learn something special is going to make things fun later on, haha.
Great job with the last two chapters, I enjoyed reading them. I look forward to reading the next.
| Baconblades chapter 21 . 1/22
This story, and it's prequel Forlorn, have become my crack addiction in the world of Fan Fiction. I love the detail and the story line is just *MWAH* beautiful. I understand that it must take a while to write these chapters, but with the length of time between releases and my need for this story, I will likely be rereading the entirety of Forlorn and Harbinger. I've really nothing to complain about or add, I just wanted to say how amazing this story is to me. I compare my stories to it in terms of detail and depth because I see this story as the standard of excellence. Thank you for writing and continuing to work on this.
| DemonVermin chapter 21 . 1/20
From what your beta-reader said, I agree. Not everyone has the time like I do to read a novel beofore bed ;) And Pokemon- High Five
Now onto the story:
Suna: When I watched the last few eps of Naruto with my cuz, I enjoyed that Shakaku was not a mindless beast riddled with insanity any more. I quite like how ya incorporated that. Oh boy was a about ta fall off my chair when Matsuri heard these choice words, but I feel as if that will be concluded next chap. Temari's feeling have shown themselves and I gotta admit, did not expect her to cry. Hmmm, I can see the Slug is gonna make an appearance soon.
Konaha: I gotta say Lee's grandpa is quite an enjoyable character and you did well with him as a mentor. Neji is growing even more than I had hoped in these few chapters and Sai might just become likable if he got ingrained that lesson so quickly. Oooo and I do love me a scandal, wonder how this will turn out. Lee will always be Lee, that overeager, energetic bushybrows.
-Always awaiting, The DemonVermin
| Red Wings chapter 21 . 1/17
YES! New chapter!
Wow, Gaara is making progress in his relationship with the One-Tailed Beast. That's very good of him. And Naruto's idea of starting a Jinchuuriki Support Club is wonderful. They should do it! The letters of Haku and Naruto to Gaara really shine - you can tell their mood in their tone. I feel for Gaara for having to deal with the council and all those damned politicians. While getting rest is a good thing for him, he should get some training in. At this rate, Naruto and Haku will outpace him.
It's good to hear from our friends at Wave Village. For a minor character, you sure do a wonderful job with Matsuri. About that Menma, though...I wonder if that waitress just said that because she has an inflated sense of ego. Menma can't be that flighty, and he isn't stupid enough to piss off Matsuri's sensei and her superiors, the Sand trio. If he is, I will be very disappointed in him.
What's with Utakata? Is he afraid that if the locals keep calling him 'Sensei', they'll draw attention to him and the Akatsuki will find out?
The letter from Haku to Temari was just...well, words do not do the Hyoton-user justice. I always knew that my man was eloquent and articulate and a gentleman, but...the letter wrings my heart and leaves it out to dry.
I liked what you did with Hayate and Yuugao. They make a lovely couple, those two, and even if they weren't married in canon, it makes a lot of sense here. Good to see Tenten making use of Kage Bunshin clones in her training, too. Her chakra reserves must have grown a lot more in the last year, eh?
My favorite part, though, was Wong Leung's torturous Wushu lessons that Lee and Neji are getting. Most of what they're doing sounds like something I would die from. Are they even REAL? Then again, Lee is based on THE Bruce Lee. Will there be an Ip Man Expy next?
And hey, the fruits of Wong Leung's training has paid off! Neji just unconsciously learned his elemental affinity! And it's very destructive, obviously. With his training in Jyuuken and Wong (as well as home-training), Neji is going to reach Jounin in no time. I can believe that he will definitely be the first. Hideyasu, Hikune's father, is being awfully understanding. And he knows the torture that Neji is going through, oooh! I can't believe that even Maito Gai, a Taijutsu master, is DISTURBED by Wong's training methods. Maybe Wong can offer Gai a master class.
HAHAHAHA! Did the Chinese restaurant owner invite Neji, Lee and Wong over for dinner AND an exhibition? Did he attack Neji and Lee with it, or was it just Grandpa 'borrowing' the wok? XD
Oh, dear God. Kiba's dad is such a bastard. No wonder Tsume wants to kill him. At least Tsunade is being understanding about this.
Danzo is another bastard. He's sneaky and manipulative, to have just put Sai in Neji's and Lee's team. Pffft. Ladyhair is a good nickname for Neji, though. Yeah, Lee! Defend Tenten's good name and honor! If Sai only knew the training she's getting, that Neji and Lee are getting...I'm sure Wong would scoff at Sai's 'artistic license' and scare the hell out of the ROOT agent. If Sai survives this encounter at the end of the next chapter, that is...
| Gabriel's Trumpet chapter 21 . 1/16
Quality as ever. The only real issue I had with this was how quickly Sai changed sides here, but outstanding otherwise.
| fiveflyingsquirrels chapter 21 . 1/15
I check my inbox on my phone. I see the email: Harbinger has added Chapter 21. I was so fuddled that I forgot three things at the store I needed to buy and ran through the checkout back to my car. Went straight home and read. Ahhh. It was worth it.
Once again we get a brilliant and cohesive chapter that basically follows two parties: Sand, including Gaara’s daily Kazekage work and then Temari bringing Matsuri back to the Tide Village. And then Leaf, centered mostly on Neji and Lee and crazy grandpa Wong. A lil bit of Tenten was thrown in for good measure. Let’s not forget Sai.
Gosh this was great. What should I talk about? One thing that still sticks out to me was the subtle Kill Bill reference in the Lee/Neji training montage. Their hands were so beat up that they could not grasp chopsticks to eat. If memory serves, Beatrix had the same issue after training with Pai Mei. HA. I caught you. You shameless referencer of pop culture, you!
Gaara’s dream is unsettling and is a rather plain foreshadowing of what is to come for him: his kidnapping by the Akatsuki. But in a twist, Shukaku wants to cooperate and make him stronger! Does this mean he will escape Deidara and Sasori? I hope so! It will be so friggin awesome! Of course, in exchange Gaara offered a lot of treats to Shukaku, including a duel with Naruto/Kurama, setting Shukaku free after his death, and better education about Tailed Beasts. Not a bad deal. I want to see Gaara get all glowy! Woo!
I wanted to throw my laptop after Temari finished Haku’s letter. Why? Why God? It is just so heartbreaking and I wish they didn’t split up. He really loves her and he stupidly got himself stuck in that mess with Zabuza. I am praying for a happy resolution to their relationships tribulations. Aww, Matsuri had her first heartbreak, but dollars to donuts it is all a misunderstanding! I don’t wanna see the mouse sad. Utakata is driving Tazuna bonkers and that scene seemed like a parody of the Utakata arc in the anime. He is such a melodramatic guy who is bitter over his sensei’s supposed betrayal…and Tazuna don’t care! Bam.
So let me get to the meat and bones of this chapter: Neji and Lee. Again. I am okay with them featuring because their development seems super critical right now. We’ll get back to everyone else in a bit. Those Wushu training exercises are killer. AND funny. Neji had to remind himself why he was going along with it all. Lee gets his crash course in Drunken Boxing and we also observe as Neji squares himself with his manifesting Wind Nature. I’ll admit I was surprised to see it brought on so quickly, but at the same time I for one believe that Neji is the genius type who WOULD get it down pat that fast. But what the hell?! That Wind Release Air Palm? That destroyed a whole forest! Ain’t that illegal? You know if he uses that he’s going to be wiping out whole platoons of enemies. I wanna see it! And Lee and Gai being appropriately frightened of it is just adorable.
I felt bad for Kiba and his family but at the same time I saw this coming. I had suspected that his dad was a douche who returned to his homestead conveniently when his health began to fail. New wife and baby. Bluh. Selfish. I hope he keels over while running away! Good riddance.
Danzo barging in on Tsunade’s prep session with Lee and Neji just sunk my stomach. That guy is one crafty piece of trash. He inserted Sai into the mission to fulfill a 3-man requirement and then ordered Sai to hand Neji and Lee over to the enemy? WHY? For a price? For peace? Cuz he felt like it? I know there won’t be a good reason when you reveal the motive but I’ll still flip a table. Interestingly, Lee and Neji’s interaction with Sai quickly inspires envy in him. Their over-emotional states (in Tenten’s absence) must have spoken to him, in spite of all that “emotionless dick” training he got in Root. Sai never was the fully brainwashed type because he loved his bro a lot, so I figure he just couldn't go through with the exchange at the mine. Cool mission, by the way. How you come up with those ideas? I can see from your profile that you read a lot. Hmm.
Oh, and how could I forget the most important part of this chapter?
Freaking Neji. In love.
Poor guy! Lee got him good during that heart to heart as they reminisced about Tenten. I felt so bad for Neji as he just couldn’t get it together and, I SHOULD MENTION, had a very self-aware description of himself by saying that when Tenten isn’t around he is a “certifiable desperado who aggravates everyone.” Freaking brilliant. He’s come a loooong way and I want Neji to finally find romantic happiness with that very deserving girl of his. I can’t wait. I know you’ll make it an extremely satisfying payoff.
Great work as always! Can’t wait to see the conclusion in the next chapter!