|Reviews for Spirited Back|
| hukulove chapter 4 . 7/23/2015
Good story but it needs a ending please update soon soon soon
| Shiori Kudo chapter 4 . 9/13/2014
How did Kamajii know Chihiro's real name?
| TsukiyoTenshi chapter 4 . 5/9/2010
| Navaka114 chapter 4 . 10/20/2008
Ami...GREAT NAME! they must take a part of the name. You know like haku from Kohaku. Don't know how they got Sen thou...
| ShiroSakuraTenshi chapter 4 . 8/8/2008
you think it not hard to know which girl is pair to who.
| wind-master-redmoon chapter 4 . 7/16/2008
ohh this is interesting i wonder how it will turn out.
| Blue Nymph chapter 1 . 6/11/2008
Are you undating anytime soon? 'Cause this really GOOD! If you're stuck in the plot or something, I hope you recover soon. You shouldn't give up on the FanFic.
| HinaLuvLuvChan chapter 4 . 3/20/2008
| Actually Anzie chapter 4 . 3/19/2008
Nice one! Update soon! Please? :(
| Actually Anzie chapter 3 . 3/19/2008
Good chapter! Keep it up! I like it!
| Actually Anzie chapter 2 . 3/19/2008
Erm, I thought Haku had black hair... But never mind. This is really good! Keep it up!
| Actually Anzie chapter 1 . 3/19/2008
Great story so far! I like it! I'll read the rest now... Keep it up!
| misssilivren chapter 2 . 3/18/2008
wow!this story is really good!last time i checked,though,Kohakus hair was black,not ,good story!
| OtakuGirl21 chapter 4 . 3/6/2008
this is a really cool story, plz update soon!
| Blue Nymph chapter 4 . 3/5/2008
Pretty good, I'll say!
The beginning of your story didn't quite fit, I'll tell you why: First of all, at that moment in time, Chihiro was very young, I don't think she knew she loved Haku, she merely knew that he was the greatest friend she could ever have and she didn't want to say goosdbye. So, in short, I guess her thoughts sounded a little unbelievable: she wouldn't have left Haku if she hadn't wanted to go home so badly. You should nave added some more inner turmoil, how she was torn between wanting to return to her parents and stay with Haku.
I think the reason this scene was so short was probably because you were too enthusiastic to write this fanfic to notice that you needed to add more to each part of it.
All in all, besides that beginning scene, I have to tell you, I love your characters. Amaya is my personal favourite: she's got a bubbling personality, Misora and Kaori were reasonably interesting too. And because characters are what make a story stronger than its plot, I cantruthfully say that you've got potential. The dialogue flows and keeps you reading. Good.
Also, when you're describing a character, physical looks are not that important, you've got to bring your characters alive by their personality, and so, even if you hadn't given us that escription about their looks, the story would still have moved along fine.
And, (I'm so sorry for this long lecture!), another (last!) thing is, the scenes when the girls are saved by the boys, the girls seem too calm: The only thing worrying them is the fact that they're growing invisible, what about the fact that they're in an alien place? Or that they have no idea where thir best friend's are? Or whether they will ever meet their parent's again? Or that the only people they can ask for help are see-through? Personally, if I found myself in such a situation, my thouts would be a scramble, nothing would make any sense to me, I'd be shivering and cowering, blbbering to myself to keep calm, praying to God, or crying as if the world was at its end.
Now these are only my opinions and if you feel as if I'm saying nonsense, you can (in Simon Cowel's words) 'boo all you want' but I'm just conveying my thoughts.
So, good luck writing! You're good at it. If you weren't, I wouldn't be wastong my time on you!