|Reviews for Delay|
| CrayonMentality chapter 1 . 8/9/2009
This was realy good. :)
| Niirfa chapter 1 . 4/13/2009
Hm. Interesting work here, all things considered. It's notably different than what one would expect from this kind of story (a pregnancy revelation story that is) but I thought it was good. Not particularly pleasant, but good.
One of the things I've noticed about fem!Shep is that people tend to make her far more badass than male!Shep. Don't know why that is, though I tend to do it as well (my most recent playthrough is a female Shepard gone thoroughly, but not stupidly, renegade). Maybe it's because of Ripley and Starbuck. Dunno.
In any case, though, I thought it worked here. I usually end up rolling my eyes at stories like this, where it becomes little more than a Mary Sue fantasy for the author of having kids with their most wonderful partner. Granted, fantasies can certainly be appealing, but it's nice that you tried to actually deal with the topic in a realistic and believable fashion.
I can't say that I necessarily agree with Shepard's decision (my opinion on abortion is complicated) but I certainly understand it. It's realistic for the situation she's in and she has a responsibility to think not just about herself and Kaidan or even the child but about her crew and the galaxy as well. After all, given however ME turns out at the end Shepard is inevitably the most important person in the universe at that moment - and an action hero at that.
So, overall, thumbs up. I can't really think of any substantial flaws, other than that it was just a little bit unpleasant. But that's also part of what made it interesting.
| kosmokomik chapter 1 . 2/20/2008
I liked how Shepard didn't go all soft and mushy here, very in-character, at least with a commander who values her time in the military.
Some very awesome lines, as the previous reviewers have pointed out. Excellent work.
| Anne Onymous chapter 1 . 2/11/2008
Very interesting, very funny. With most Mass Effect fanfiction being of substandard quality, calling your story above average isn't the compliment it could be, but rest assured that yours is most definitely a well written piece of fiction.
I particularly enjoyed the characterization of Chakwas - I wanted her role to be larger in the game, and thus was happy with that in your tale. Jane Shepard dialogue - both internal and otherwise - was brilliantly well written.
I'm not sure how I feel about the frequent fragmented sentences. I suppose, as the story is very in tune with Shepard's feelings, that it fits well enough - people don't always speak in complex sentences. Still, I felt much of it interrupted the flow while reading.
Another personal complaint: was it truly necessary to name your Shepard "Jane?" While it may seem more canon, I always appreciate seeing a Rhonda, or Natalie, or something of the like. Still, to each their own.
| themapples chapter 1 . 1/16/2008
all i can say is HAH! (sorry, i never liked kaidan anyway)
BUT, that was definately interesting with Dr. Chakwas.
| Eilam Wordsmith chapter 1 . 1/14/2008
Oh, this is fantastic. I love your Shepard to death.
I wonder what the labor will be like?
Kaiden: "Breathe, Shepard, breathe! Remember your lamaze!"
Shepard: "This is all your fault and if someone will give back my blaster I will KILL YOU!"
Ah, the joy of birth.
| Athena Solaris chapter 1 . 1/14/2008
"Galactic genocide extravaganza?" You've just made my day. Funny and dead on. Now if only Shepard could be that sarcastic in the game...
| VoiDreamer not logged in chapter 1 . 1/14/2008
Ooh! I like the idea - I trust that you'll be continuing it ? Sounds AMAZING so please do!
| impsy chapter 1 . 1/14/2008
Love it! You have such a great Shepard, I love her swearing and frustration. My favorite line, though, had to be: "Mister family man with his dad in Vancouver and his mom sending vid mails telling him to wear a sweater on Noveria because it was bound to be cold." I giggled for ages. :)
| Lord 0f Storms chapter 1 . 1/14/2008
imaginitive problem for Shepard to deal with makes an interesting change for her to be dealing with more everyday issues like a normal person
and it's dead on accurate well written too, and funny at points!
| Uilleand chapter 1 . 1/14/2008
*whew*...gutsy take on it. And Shep's voice is strong and clear. Very good!
(...I'd like to think society a couple hundred years from now would have a handle on pharmaceutical contraceptives, tho...hehehe)
| Sho-ro Eyez chapter 1 . 1/13/2008
O, I like it so far. It's original and well written. Update soon!
| NCArden chapter 1 . 1/13/2008
I was wondering if someone would write about this. I had been thinking about what happens sometimes after those one night reacted just as I thought she least a Shepard who loved being a soldier. Great story. Can't wait to read more.