|Reviews for Family Is family|
| Digi-fanCatt chapter 10 . 11/13/2014
I love the idea, but I'm a bit of a grammar freak, and have trouble reading this. I really want to, I just can't deal with how many words you've misused and misspelt.
| CyrixMagi chapter 1 . 2/8/2013
I'm not sure if anyone checks back here (or if anyone cares), but I just wanted to comment on a few things.
First: "She hadn't been told about any grandpa!" - Ellen has the memories from the alternate version of herself AND all of Elliot's memories. So she would not only know about her alternate's grandparents, but hers and Elliot's grandparents in her reality too. From the continued description of her feelings about the situation, you get the overall impression that she really doesn't know anything about her grandpa even existing...which doesn't make sense.
Second: Consistency. Elliot told her "I've already set the table", but when she goes downstairs, her mother says "Ellen dear come here and set the table". Also, try to be consistent with the characters' style of speech from the original comic. Having Ellen and her family use words like "mum" and "auntie" and such doesn't seem characteristic of them.
Third: This would be all the grammer and punctuation mistakes. If I were reading amature "adult literature", I would expect this many mistakes. It doesn't take much to type up a story in Word, Works, or WordPerfect and let the program check for mistakes. Once it's been edited, read it through once more and copy/paste it online. If you don't have (and can't afford) Word, Works, or WordPerfect, then download LibreOffice or OpenOffice for free! ( .org) or ( .org)
Fourth: Content and pacing. I believe this is a bit short even for an intro. There are a few areas that could have been expanded on. As is, this intro gives the story too much of a rushed feeling and also makes it seem like it's going to be a bit lacking overall. Remember, first impressions are key. The intro should set the pacing for the rest of the story. Don't forget how much exposition is included in the EGS comics!
I do like the suspense you created here. It leaves me wondering what direction this family meeting is going to take. I also like that there are paragraphs and spacing. That's not something you find much anymore.
I've probably made it sound worse than it is, but I like to give details instead of just listing points. I feel that if someone is going to be critical, he/she should at least explain the reasoning behind that criticism.
Either way, thanks for the story!
| BMeph chapter 1 . 5/1/2011
I hope this doesn't stop you from writing, because I like your imagination. I especially like Grandpa.
Someone mentioned that there were minor spelling errors, but they didn't detract from the story. I disagree; it gets rough to try to read around them. Sometimes they're easy to figure out, and sometimes not.
I want to know more about Grandpa and Lilly. I love Broken Bird stories, thus I like Elly and Lilly, and want to know why Lilly is such a "witch with a Capital B" with Elly. I don't buy the "she's a burden to support" blather. Everyone's a burden on those around them, they're also treasures. I must know details Tell me. TELL ME!
If money isn't too tight for you, you should spend $5 (maybe C$4 considering exchange rates... ;) on a USB "thumbdrive". That way you can edit at your leisure.
MOAR Grandpa PLZ KTHXBAI!
| Earthenfist chapter 1 . 10/7/2008
Needs More Commas!
| Chronos the Cat chapter 1 . 3/6/2008
You seem to have forgotten / ignored / been unaware that Ellen shares all of Elliot's memories up until her creation. If you purposefully ignored that fact, I need an excuse as to why I should do the same within this story. Otherwise, I'm afraid it is a continuity error too great for me to overcome to enjoy the story.
| Hagetaka chapter 6 . 1/17/2008
Ah, the suspense. I'm glad that you're able to write and update this quickly, although you could still probably use a little bit more improvement on spelling.
Can't wait to see what your version of Tedd's mother is, so keep writing!
| Hagetaka chapter 3 . 1/16/2008
Looks like a good story. There were a few continuity and gramatical errors, but nothing major enough to take away from the story. I hope that you keep writing, and wish you good luck in the future.