|Reviews for Recovery|
| Flowsnake chapter 4 . 12/19/2009
I'm really enjoying reading this. There are only tiny-little-minute flaws in the Spanish, things which are really virtually unnoticeable: not even entirely mistakes, but more like nuances in language that are hard to grasp for non-native speakers, even if they are fluent. To me, these barely-existent imperfections add realism to Ziva's Spanish speech patterns (what little of it she speaks in this story) without compromising the definition of the phrases. Even if this wasn't intentional, it suits the character and the story perfectly. Please update soon!
| missgaley chapter 4 . 8/27/2009
I agree that a new layout would probably be the best. It could just be because it is late where I am and reading at this time of night is never good on the eyes, but it may help.
Also, I'm Canadian (therefore that weird combination of British and American English is my talent :P) so there were a couple things that I noticed: though I would say them, Americans would not use lift (elevator) or mum (mom). Just to point that out.
I laughed when reading your translation in chapter 4. I'm fluent in French (when reading and writing only, my oral skills suck) and barely realized it was in another language! xD
| iluvtwbf chapter 4 . 6/2/2009
plse plse keep this story going i love it to death really its good
| AthosionWarrior chapter 4 . 5/5/2009
oh i am verry exited in reading more, i really want to know what happen to her.
| The Disappearing Me chapter 4 . 1/16/2009
I liked it! Pretty realistic, actually. Keep writing!
| CarolineD chapter 4 . 10/12/2008
I understood the languages perfectly :)
Also, it's probably better to indeed place spaces between dialogue lines. Makes it much easier to read. Right now, my eyes just dart over the chunk of text and I have to force myself to go back and read it completely.
As for the rest, I really like where you're going with this so far. Story flow's good, you don't use the same words over and over.. yeah, keep on going.
Thanks for sharing, and update soon.
| coexist love chapter 4 . 7/8/2008
Nice! I love this chapter.
And the new formating would help.
| Navona chapter 4 . 7/7/2008
I'm really enjoying this. I do think it would be easier to read if you broke up the text a little more, as it can sometimes be difficult to see who's speaking when it changes so quickly.
Your chracters seem in-character which is great, and I'd like to see some more Ziva/Tony banter as this always seems to be an integral part of their relationship on-screen. Ziva's confusion with her languages is nice, and I like the way you've written bits of others languages in, but still manage to convey the meaning by repetition in english or even in the narrative, so that readers who don't speak these languages still understand.
I like the way the Tiva relationship is going here, though I would prefer you kept it subtle, as blatant desire and attraction seems very out of character and is sadly over-used in this pairing. I also like your Jibbs interaction, and if possible would like to see a little more of this in future chapters.
A note on updates: personaly I find it better to have a whole story written before I start posting, or at least planned in detail. This way you can foreshadow, give hints and clues to tantalise the reader and then know that you'll come through at the end, because I've often read stories which have interesting idea and sub-plots in early chapters and don't go anywhere later, leaving readers feeling unsatisifed. I don't know how you feel about this, or what your plan is, I just find it much easier to write with a goal.
One last thing (and sorry for the essay here): I'm also Aussie but I try to use American words when writing in American fandoms, such as 'Mom', instead of 'Mum'. I think it just breaks it up a little because you hear the characters saying the words in their own accent and when you come across one that doesn't fit in, it just draws the reader out of the story a little.
However, I am very much enjoying this and hope to see more soon.
| aserene chapter 4 . 7/7/2008
I'm not sure how I missed this, I'm usually anal and especially if V was helping you...
Anyway, Excellent work thus far, I think I'm detectnig a slight Jibbs undertone (which is probably just the jibbs-lover in me)
I'm really enjoying this, very well written, you've got the family dynamics down, and I loved Jenny's little bit about wanting to finish a report before playing Mum, and the way she shut Gibbs up...and her general care for Ziva. That was something I don't think a lot of people got, was that they were friends. Very good friends.
I can't wait for more, if you need help, just drop me a line.
| scissorhands17 chapter 4 . 7/7/2008
I vote for breaking up the blocks.
| M E Wofford chapter 4 . 7/7/2008
It's not difficult to read as it is.
And it's a good story!
| animaluvr123 chapter 2 . 6/9/2008
I like it so far, update soon please!
| Emilia Gray chapter 3 . 6/9/2008
This is great.
Please update soon.
| M E Wofford chapter 3 . 6/9/2008
I just found these 2 chapters.
Please, I pray you, write some more of the story.
I thought these 2 chapters were very intriguing.
Where it should go...I don't know. It's your story. Let it go where your imagination takes you!
| dunnozzo chapter 3 . 6/9/2008
Words of advice:
1.) Your story is excellent, it is well-written, and the characters appear to be in-character, although it is hard to tell just how Ziva would react to a situation like this, it appears to be a very good estimate, at least I have no better suggestion.
2.) With my stories, I took on too much for the little time I have - don't turn it into an epic story, 5-10 chapters would be more than sufficient. Let's not have a serial killer, and a terrorist attack, and then another three plot ideas branched into this one story. If you come up with another idea, perhaps keep it separate for another time.
3.) And, being male, I can only plead that this story does not dissolve into meaningless fluff and drivel. Ziva will no doubt have many great frustrations ahead of her on the road to recovery, Tony will likely battle his own feelings for his partner and his respect for Gibbs' rule 12, and perhaps Ziva will remember his slip of the tongue and confession of love. It makes for interesting reading. The jenny/gibbs dialogue again gives you something to fall back on to break up the monotony of tony and ziva. I imagine the entire team will want to visit Ziva, and Tony's bachelor pad will now be open to his entire team, and naturally Abby and McGee, and even Ziva or Gibbs may take some time to poke around and see just what the 'Big D's' underwear drawers and other secret places contain.
With respect to fluff and drivel, seemingly the majority of readers here are female (correct me if I am wrong), so I am not one to entirely rule out the whole love/marriage/pregnant branches of a storyline, but Tony and Ziva clinging to each other professing their love in verse is not really in-character. They can have moments like that, as I'm sure they would, but the jaunts and insults are likely to be far more humerous and interesting.
I think Ziva will have to recover fully, to give you a goal to write that in, and for the most of us, we would like to see Tony and Ziva's relationship progress - another option, although less satisfying to the reader would be a return to the friendly partnership, perhaps with an understanding that they really are best friends, perhaps more later on in life.
I think I have written enough drivel also, but as a fellow Aussie, writing this at 2AM, I hope some of this was helpful.