|Reviews for Dirtbag|
| Botherer 1337 chapter 20 . 10/20/2009
This is one of the best SP fics I've read. I think it's really going somewhere. I loved Kevin's bad driving. I would love it if Henrietta beat Cartman up. So update soon, Turd! (Sorry, couldn't resist, LOL)
| SubspaceStar chapter 20 . 9/19/2009
wow it's awesome! :D
| Gertrude Granger chapter 20 . 7/29/2009
I was delighted to see that you had returned to this story. South Park fanfics of any length or complexity are so rare. If nothing else, I admire your ambition.
I just realized something interesting. A good 90% of SP fanfics feature one or more characters angsting over the prospect of being outed, but very few show them facing any actual homophobia, except for maybe a few insults from Cartman. For instance, I think this is the first one I’ve read where Kenny isn’t immediately and completely cool with his two best friends being gay. It’s a little sad, but much more realistic than the usual “Awesome! Can I watch you guys make out?” Kudos for thinking outside the box.
Please keep writing. I really want to find out how everything works out, especially for poor Stan.
| Don'tKillKenny chapter 20 . 7/7/2009
i still like this! :)
the writing style is different, but it's still great, no worries! :)
thanks for updating, really!
i hope you finish this soon too, i like it and want to know what happens! :D
| Don'tKillKenny chapter 19 . 7/2/2009
I LOVE THIS STORY! seriously, out of all the stories i've read on fanfiction, which is a LOT, this is probably the best one!
i want more shevin action! :P i'm saying shevin because it sounds funnier than kelly
seriously, please update soon, i really like this story, PLEASE update it! i love it! :D
lol, i'm a loser, i know, but seriously, i love this fic, amazing! you are a talented writer, i'm jealous!
| Jay chapter 19 . 3/2/2009
Alright, so I'm going to try to make this as inoffensive as possible.
I like the concept of your story. It's a cool idea making a story based around Shelley. I think you've kind of gotten lost along the way and are centering it way too much on Henrietta. In fact, for the purposes of this story, I think Henrietta is sort of acting as your Mary Sue, because even though you have her going through this character revolution, she's still pretty much coming off as ooh-I'm-lovely-and-sparkly-and-perfect-and-oh-so-good-to-my-friends-and-everyone-loves-me. Not all the time, because you have her reflecting on being a bitch, but it really does come off that way. I think I wouldn't mind as much if Shelley wasn't supposed to be the main character- I mean, you already have one alpha bitch in the story, and having Henrietta going halfsies on being a bitch/good friend is really disruptive. Also, it is of course entirely possible for a group of boys to accept a friend's girlfriend into their cliquey little group. However, by having Henrietta so easily accepted it comes off as unrealistic- especially when you consider the fact that these are the SP boys, who had to hold auditions when Kenny died. It's incredibly OOC.
I also find the fact that Shelley would listen to Say Anything highly unlikely (although I know you only mentioned that in the author's notes- see, I read them!). As a side-non-critique, I think Say Anything is like the unofficial band of South Park fanfiction. This is the third or fourth fic I've read that mentions them. Which jives with me, since I've been fans of them since they had their garage demo tapes out at...goddman that was a long time ago. Eight or nine years now. Shit. Okay, I digress.
But yes. I think this story has potential, but I think you're selling yourself short by focusing so much on Henrietta- she was okay at the beginning, but at this point she's like Miss-Mary-Sue-Fag-Hag. It's deviating so much from the initial chapters of the story, which I really enjoyed, that I think it's actually effing with the way the story sounds as a whole. You're obviously a good enough author that you don't need a Mary Sue character to support the story, but you have her there anyway. I don't know, it's just confusing to me.
What else? I think that Kevin's a bit of a pussy, which seems...anti-McCormick to me. But I'll give you that one. I also think that while it's good to focus on music in fanfics, you're giving the characters very eclectic taste- in the case of say, Shelley, which also comes off as very confusing and Mary Sue-ish. While it's okay to have a character share the same interest, it's kind of distracting in the fictional world to have them go from Iron Maiden to Say Anything- because yes, in real life you have people who do like different things (I'm probably sounding incredibly muddled here, but give me a chance) but people usually tend to loyally stick to a specific sound (especially people who aren't incredibly into the music scene, which it seems like most South Park-ians wouldn't be just by virtue of location). So when you say Shelley likes Iron Maiden, I kind of expect her to like Metallica and Sound Garden rather than the other bands you've mentioned. (Like I said, I know real people have more eclectic tastes- hell, I'm a loyal devotee of AlternaRock, but I have the biggest collection of gangsta rap out of any of my friends.) It's just easier for the reader if you're a little less diverse. Which doesn't mean don't mention music, because it's always nice when you read a fic and discover new artists/songs. But...yeah. All muddled. I hope that made a little bit of sense.
I think that was all my complaints. I like the story as a whole, or maybe the potential the story has. I just think...well, you read what I think already! Don't let what I said deter you; I'm just writing this because you did mention that you want to be able to write more honestly, and I think most people tend to critique grammar more often than they do parts of the plot as long as they like the story as a whole- which I do, I just stumbled on the parts I mentioned. :)
| thatdude chapter 19 . 1/29/2009
This is a pretty neat story you have going on here. I ended up reading the whole thing last night and ended up missing school today due to the lack of sleep P.
| ELIJAHTHEPROPHET chapter 18 . 12/12/2008
I have to aplaud your skill in this story. I mean lest be honest since you have not labled this story as ANGST then it should be pretty obvious to everyone by know just which charecters will end up with which. However despite this you still continue to keep us (your readers I do not split personalities) hooked. I just hope you do not decide to abandon this excellent story (at the time I am writing this it has not been updated in a while) as so many writiers choose to do. PS I really liked your other goth fics too.
| kmutt chapter 18 . 6/19/2008
. I loved it! Especially the part about Velma lol. Thanks for updating, good luck with your other story too.
| kmutt chapter 17 . 6/13/2008
I still love this story and I hope it continues .
| kmutt chapter 15 . 5/5/2008
God, this is such a great story, I love it. Cartman was the perfect person, that was a great chapter. Keep up the good work!
| EP1TAPH chapter 13 . 4/20/2008
I love this.
It's addicting, and I'd use a metaphor to say why, but I can't think of one.
So keep on writing, dude.
| Loca Bambina chapter 1 . 4/17/2008
Oh, wow! I really like this story. You've got all the characters incredibly IC, and I'm really liking the way you write Shelley. Oh, and Kyle, too - he's great here.
Can't wait to read more. :)
| account closed and inactive chapter 13 . 4/15/2008
Whats this? WHATS THIS? D: 9 REVIEWS? This story totally deserves more! It's amazing! I love it! I'm totally exited to read the new chapter! Keep up the good work! XD [And totally exited how Stans going to get Kyle :3"]
| The Dirt chapter 1 . 2/22/2008
DUDE, this is a great story! I'm glad your updating it on a regular basis, unlike most writers, and you aren't getting defeated by a lack of reviews. This story deserves more respect; loads of people are probably reading it every time its updated yet they don't review. It bothers me how the majority of readers do that. (Of course the majority don't bother making an account either)
I love that you've written a fan fic about Shelly, yet it's actually GOOD. That was so unexpected. It's really interesting that she has a more mature personality in this and it makes it so freakin' believable.
Anyway, my favorite thing about this is how fantastically it's written, and how it's a serious South Park story that WORKS. Most of the serious South Park stories, written good or not, do not hold together the whole feeling and vibe of South Park itself, but I like how you've made this feel like a South Park episode yet turned it in a serious direction in just the right way. Even Cartman has his lines pretty well, but he seems a little too serious for his character. That's probably the only noticable problem I can find.
I'm lovin' this story. Keep it up; I'll read every bit.