|Reviews for Bleeding Out|
| lemonysmack chapter 2 . 2/8/2009
Wow. That story was simply one of the most amazing things I have ever read. Your writing is truly fantastic, adding it to my favourites!
| Rachelly chapter 2 . 1/2/2009
Oh, wow! This was so scarey! The near kidnapping, the knife wounds, Sammy slipping down the door to colapse on the floor bleeding out! The angst was incredible! John not being able to open the door cuz Sam was collapsed in the way. Dean having no idea Sam was hurt, had been calling him for help! The guilt he felt... You write such incredibly intense, wonderfully squeeful fics! I love limpSam/Angsty Dean! And brotherly love! Thanks for the fic and for sharing your creative talent with us!
| Ashadowofwings chapter 2 . 11/6/2008
“Dean …sometimes, you just gotta let me go.”
EXCELLENT foreshadow right there. Kudos.
| A lost lily chapter 2 . 5/24/2008
I like that Dean found the knife in the end and that obviously Sammy didn't have it. Good story!
| spnMom chapter 2 . 5/6/2008
I just loved this story. Horrible things can happen in the blink of an eye. Poor Dean. It will be tough to get over the guilt. I would have loved it if Dean and John kicked the bad guy's a$$ though. Thanks for a tense, but very enjoyable story.
| irishgirl9 chapter 2 . 4/17/2008
Great story! I really enjoyed reading it!
| Ihni chapter 2 . 4/1/2008
I feel for Dean, really, I do. It must have been horrible for him. Poor guy.
| kuhekabir chapter 2 . 3/30/2008
I liked it. Thanks for sharing :)
| Alice I chapter 2 . 3/27/2008
Wow! 106 - now 107 reviews for two chapters! That is incredibly impressive.
I liked this story quite a lot. I did feel that the last scene between Dean and Sammy was lite - as in I was looking for more, but the last line was perfect and I agree with you that it was a great stopping place.
What I would like to have read was more of a communication build up to that perfect line.
The medical stuff was pretty close to what is seen here in the US. I have worked in extremely large hospitals all the way down to the little rural hospital that I now work at. I have no idea where this story is set (the kind of community) so I can't speak to all of the hospital sequences. Small hospitals operate quite differently from the large urban ones.
What I will share with you is an experience I had almost a year ago with my then 6 year old daughter. She had a post surgical hemorrhage and ended up loosing 25% of her total blood volume.
I am assuming that Sammy lost more than that, but in order for him to live it couldn't have been too much more. My six year old daughter was treated in the pediatric ER of a moderate sized urban hospital and released to go home five hours later. They gave her IV fluids and that is all.
In retrospect the doctors agreed that she should have been admitted, (very long story BTW) but even then they would have been hesitant to give her a blood transfusion. Your story required a transfusion, of course, but I just wanted to point out that in a pediatric situation a transfusion is considered the last recourse.
It took my child three months for her body to recoup the blood loss and the fatigue was so apparent that it was almost painful. I loved the fact that you addressed that. KUDOS!
In your story you had Sammy admitted for an extended period, and that is something that works well for a fictional story but doesn't fit snugly with the real world. A day or two at most. Of course that is also a condition of American medical practices these days.
Medical decisions have been taken out of the hands of the doctors and placed firmly in the hands of bean counters in business suits who drive BMWs and have not spent a single day in medical classes. *Oye I won't go there- I could write a damned book about that subject!*
I was slightly confused about something, however. In chapter 1 you had this:
A sharp jab caught him in the lower back and he gasped out, trying to breathe through the pain. He wanted to cry out but with each small sound he made the knife cut in a little deeper, a steady stream of blood now running down his neck.
“Get in.” The knife withdrew as the man reached down to open the van door, pushing Sam towards the opening.
Okay now I see... When I first read this, I thought that Sam had been stabbed in the small of his back. This is where a decent beta could lend some assistance. If your beta is fooled then the reader may be as well. Now after looking at it a second time I see that something else caused the sharp pain in his back. That little section could have been clearer if it was revealed what was causing the pain in his back. No big deal - it was still a good read.
This is the only story of yours I have read so far but I would like to read the rest - time permitting of course. I don't seem to have much of that precious commodity these days.
I think that you are a very good writer and your stories - at least this one anyhow - is engaging and it hooked me even though I am mostly unfamiliar with the story line. That is the mark of a writer who will go far.
Keep up the great work! And once again; 107 reviews for 2 chapters! That is just amazing. Over 50 reviews for each chapter! Dang, I wish I got reviews like that!
| Alice I chapter 1 . 3/27/2008
Kokoda - I have never seen Supernatural but after reading work done by a friend of mine on a story for this fandom I think you must be very close to her vision of the characters.
In any case I won't say more than that on whether or not they are in character but even if they aren't - I like they way they are portrayed. This is an excellent piece of writing and the beta who gave you a hard time is full of shite when it comes to criticizing your writing!
You have a knack for pulling the reader in. I was hooked from the first couple of paragraphs and I have never even seen the show. After reading a few pieces I wish I could see it. We now have cable and the Sci Fi channel so I'll have to look and see if we can actually get it now.
I will be reading chapter two later and will give you a final review when I do complete with... well with the stuff that make up my reviews. They are usually long winded. *LOL Like you didn't have that figured out about me after the tome I left in the thread!*
| neko-jin72 chapter 2 . 3/25/2008
loved the story. i liked how john found his youngest lying in a pool of his own blood on the floor by the front door, wow, morbid. great job!
| sentarla chapter 2 . 2/29/2008
great story, really liked it, hope the guy got caught and not by the police!
| funkyspunk chapter 2 . 1/29/2008
Amazing fic! Loved the angst and the brotherly love and the guilt! Well done!
| Kaewi chapter 2 . 1/29/2008
I liked this a lot. It did feel a tad abrupt with the ending, but it covered the important parts nicely. I love it when Dean's guilty, so the fact that John found Sam added even more to that!
| Faeith chapter 2 . 1/25/2008
Gosh that killed me when Dean didn't get it that Sam was calling for him -.- Wow... Good story though .