it really doesn't matter if Snape and Lily get get together in the end because of this chapter right here she thought he might kill himself and instead of going to him she completely ignored it that fact is this is proof she literally didn't care if he lived or died James was healed by this point at most he would have been unconscious and if she was with other people she could have left him with them this just shows she didn't care and that is something that you can't just move past and you shouldn't move past this I'm not saying stay stuck on the past what I'm saying is this moment right here should have been the moment he decided that Severus Snape and
Lily Evans would never be together suicide is a big deal and not just for the people who are immediately close to you

Catholicism hasn't been common in any of the nations of the UK for nearly 400 years - it's one of the many points of contention between the Irish and the Brits. So Severus, an intellectual, who in canon shows no inclination to faith in anything other than himself and who is from a working class family being a Catholic, and a reasonably devout one, doesn't really make sense. Actually, magicals having anything to do with the Catholic church, or Christianity in general, doesn't make any sense given that Catholicism in particular, and Christianity in general, condemn magic and have actively sought to hunt down any who "practiced" it in real life (in canon the witch hunts and the burnings are literally the reason for the statute of secrecy being put into place). I have nothing against including or exploring religion in a story, but the chosen religion here just doesn't make sense in the context.

You say pranked - the Deathly Hallows book implies what happened to Mary Macdonald was more sexual harassment.

Okay, you rated it T but this reads like a hyper unrealistic childish story. It started out strong, now it's like comic book. I'm sorry but there is simply no depth, to the characters or the plots. Every scene is so simple, it feels utterly monotonous. Like watching 5 years olds. You never give any scene anytime to develop. We're moving from one scene to another in 2 secs. Their is no emotion, throwing AKs around like child's play, both order and DE are fighting like a black and white picture. I don't want to sound rude, it was a good attempt but really this fic isn't for anyone above 15 yrs old. Good luck though.

Good story.

When you are cheering because the order "failed" it's mission of protecting Umbridge. Sorry but Lily was right on this one. Too bad though that Greyback got away, would have been nice if he and Umbridge killed each other.

I won't lie, these last few chapters have been difficult to read. I keep reminding myself that the characters are acting like ridiculous angst filled teens because they are, I guess a lot of fanfics make them more mature than would be expected. Still I was hoping that Snape would be mature enough to realize that he still wasn't over Lily and had no business dating another girl who genuinely likes him, giving her false hope. I was hoping somehow that he would tell Sarah that he didn't want to hurt her and originally he thought he might be able to see her as more than a friend but he realized that he still has too strong of feelings for Lily. But alas, teen drama ensues. I would say this reminds me of a CW drama, but I guess I have always been a sucker for the drama! I am at this point loving the drama story even though I kind of hate the drama. So I guess that means it is good writing.

PS. (I forgot to add this to the end of my previous comment.) I will always say that James and Lily are perfect for one another and this story makes it even more so with how much worse Lily is in this story compared to Canon Lily.

I hate Lily more and more as the story progresses. It's already enough that she falls for the person that has bullied her supposed best friend for years, (Which is what it is as one can't exactly help being attracted to who they are attracted to) but then she essentially pawns him off to another girl. (That might as well be a slap in the face.) Now as of chapter 19 she is having doubts about her relationship over something as stupid as James caring about Remus; when James bullying Snape for years now should have been enough to be turned off by him. The fact that the newer bullying is suddenly a bad thing makes things worse.

THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST FANFICTIONS I'VE EVER READ!

The storyline is neutral, the details are wonderful and quite creative, and I love how the story twists and turns. It gives me great ideas about the past, and the character's personalities and backstories are extremely accurate. The element of surprise is usual in this chapter, and I like it, but what surprised me the most is how Sirius didn't raise his wand - it shocked me as much as it shocked Severus. I'm intrigued by this interesting story, and I'm intensely curious about what might happen next, so I was wondering if you could make more chapters to this unfinished fanfiction - if you do, hopefully, it'll be just as good as this one - or perhaps even better!

Thank you!

Bf

Cf

Thank you for writing this story, I've been really enjoying it! But really want to say ohmy - "One Death Eater hit the ground, body twisting like clay in the hands of a hallucinating god..." WHAT A LINE loved it memorised it sogood

Thank you for a wonderful story. It is a long one and I especially like that it is finished (not like a lot of those abandoned ones). This was very different. Severus may comes across as a little out of character but nobody kows how he was in his younger years. He does have a little bit of his snarkiness already but since he wasn't this lonely person all his adult life he could have turned out the way he was in your story.
I usually am not a friend of Severus and Lily as a pair because for some reason I always thought that Lily was a rather selfish person in canon. She only stuck with Severus because she kind of felt obligated, and then as soon as he made a mistake by calling her a "Mudblood" she had the ammo to drop him like a hot potato.
I also like your small religious parts in some places. Since Severus was a halfblood, growing up in the muggle world and Lily was a muggle-born they could have pick up some religious traits.
Your story is also very well written. Someone like me, who didn't grow up with the English language, especially appreciates it.

Ahhh,sory i late review your story' again. Because real life stuff and i want to see and review many of new snevans story,because i want to see new author to how they archieve their potential write.

Difference in your story' and the other is your story' focused on action and dialogue. Thus is more short. It is not bad,in fact it is one of the best point' of your story' that makes you different than anyone story'. Many people don't like reading a story' that focuses on too much analysis,even thought it is fun of you reading many many Times to understand it. But you are To focus on action instead of analysis of the character. The Raid of the warehouse,the proposal,is very good. I cant wait to see how severus and Lily married life and how severus handling his bad relationship from his father and to become different husband than tobias.