|Reviews for Depths of Darkness|
| mithrilandtj chapter 24 . 4/19
How can Dumbles decide where Harry is to spend the summer when he is not Harry's guardian?
Snape is. And if not Snape, Malfoy Sr. (head of the board of govenors) is.
| Lavonya chapter 4 . 3/3
I HATE DUMBLEDORE!
| SlytherinLuv4Eva chapter 24 . 11/9/2014
| Monki-Neko chapter 11 . 2/18/2014
i like where you're going with this though i think the staff and the hedmaster turning on the boy so quickly is unrealistic-the houses on the other hand, i can believe more easily-and you probably want to take another look at this story; there's a lot of grammatical errors to be fixed.
| Qi Okami chapter 12 . 1/5/2014
This started out as a promising story, but you've led it down all the wrong paths. At first glance, your story appears passable, but when I stop to think, the holes are glaringly obvious. Many people are severely out of character, most tellingly Dumbledore and Snape. Dumbledore is far too harsh, and given the man's intelligence, he should have known to prepare for the possibility of Harry being Sorted into Slytherin, and he /did/ suspect that Harry's curse scar was more than it seemed. Dumbledore's quick rage and rejection, as well as that convenient plot device of a badly-worded will, was not very believable of a man known to stay perfectly calm in far worse situations. The badly-worded will also had a sense of appearing for necessity of moving the plot forward, instead of something natural and presented to Harry at an opportune moment. The swiftness with which you explained the switch between Neville and Harry's status as the Chosen One was also too abrupt, and you were telling me instead of showing me how it happened, so I could not actually believe it did happen, since it was written almost as if you were in a terrible rush to get it all out. You quote from canon at many points, but the problem is that you are just replacing one character for another - Draco becomes the Slytherin version of Ron, for example - and you're not actually showing me what Harry has gained from the replacement, since it all seems to be the same thing except in a different House. Snape's zeal towards Harry's welfare is also too abrupt and you have softened him beyond recognition. Your paragraphing requires work; it is tiring and spoils the mood to read extremely long paragraphs that are not exciting at all. You might want to space out your dialogue, Google can teach basic formatting quite easily, and you seem to have a subconscious knowledge of it, just that you don't reinforce it frequently enough. Reading through and editing your chapter before publishing is also a good idea.
| Axcel chapter 6 . 12/22/2013
I'd go to the Goblins. They'd swiftly point out that saying the money is to support his time in Gryffindor is not listed as one of the terms of inheritance. It is merely stated in a simple, personal correspondence to Harry. They would think take all of Dumbledore's belongings and money as punishment for attempting to rob one of their clients. Why? Because the goblins would no doubt (gleefully) seize even the slightest chance to do that to anyone.
| Axcel chapter 4 . 12/22/2013
The media, even the obviously moronic wizarding media, wouldn't accept Dumbledore's words about Neville simply because Voldemort already met his end by Harry.
| Axcel chapter 2 . 12/22/2013
Break up your paragraphs.
| jeanette9a chapter 23 . 8/25/2013
| Noxy the Proxy chapter 24 . 7/31/2013
This was great story.
| flaming rose chapter 1 . 6/28/2013
Hmmmmm. It got better at the end of the chapter, but I still have to give u it. So here goes.
1. U need to do a word check there were a few words spelled like this"tge" instead of "the".
2. You forgot to indent in some paragraphs. Oh! U also forgot to press enter/return at the end of ever paragraph.
| AJ Granger chapter 24 . 10/25/2012
I like the story. I like that this Harry is more reticent. Dumbledore is really going to some extremes with this one. I am surprised that Lucius and Severus weren't more Slytherin in fighting against Dumbledore's attempt to take away Harry's inheritance. You did a nice job of covering the entire first year without getting too long winded, but also with showing some nice snippets of all the developing relationships and friendships.
| geekysole chapter 24 . 9/21/2012
This fic had some potential, but the ending made me feel like I wasted my time reading it. Sorry, but it really sucked.
| Bonnie and Clyde fan 9-22-11 chapter 4 . 5/10/2012
The end of this chapter doesn't seem to bode well for Neville.
| NormaJean Beausoleil chapter 20 . 4/22/2012
great job. very interesting spin on things.
i kinda wish harry met/befriended the centaurs. oh well...
thanks for sharing! keep up the good work!