Reviews for Ruinous Commander
Lucky-9-Rose chapter 1 . 2/24/2008
The details in this story was perfect. I find all your Savyna stories very enjoyable. This was well done and I appreciate the work you put into writing this. (Thanks for reviewing His Reasons. I haven't played Origins yet, but I have watched my brother play some of it.)
Fan Fan Girl chapter 1 . 2/8/2008
*finally reviews*


Anyways, yay Savyna! I really am becoming fond of her. :D And this was a beautiful read. You impressed me with this one - the language in the first and fourth paragraph were particularly vivid. "Red like the targets painted to represent human vitals." Talk about imagery...

Using red, red, red over and over again was effective, but almost overwhelming. I would've backed off a little bit if I were you, and cut a few of them out, but I'll admit that the repetition does help imprint the idea in my head...

Ah well. All-in-all a good, solid story. Nice job, keep it up!
Wolf-Shadow's-Ghost chapter 1 . 1/25/2008
Well, that was intense. O_O

Poor Savyna, she just can’t catch a break can she? All her life she’s just known pain and death, I guess you would come to associate the color red with all he dark things of your life.

I like the way you say at first, “Red like the marks scrawled across exams, but not hers, never hers.” But then say, ‘Red like the marks on the one test she’d done far from perfectly on.’

I’m guessing the effect was to instill a sense of rambling desperation, and it worked really well. The whole story pulled me into this swirling vortex of red, and all the things the color met to Savyna.

I like it. :)