|Reviews for Moving Forward Series Part 01 What Came Before?|
| 123-321 chapter 7 . 6/10/2009
very well done!
| Shawntail chapter 7 . 4/14/2009
and here we all are, wondering who the heck could that young woman be?
| Shawntail chapter 5 . 4/14/2009
you really tapped into the 9th Doctor's thinking...
This is how he would have reacted if it was mentioned in the show...
you're really good
| Shawntail chapter 1 . 4/14/2009
this is getting interesting...
| GM Andy chapter 7 . 2/23/2008
You cover a great deal of ground here, summarizing the process that the Doctor goes through as he heals a bit, or enough to function at least as he appears in the series.
I love the use of the garden, very cool of you to include that as a 'quiet' spot for him to retreat to. And the manic bursts of 'must fix everything in sight while chattering endlessly' is very much within character.
As much as I am eager to get Rose involved and move forward, I am sad to see this section end. Having the Doctor with enforced 'domestic' downtime with the Brig was just what he needed, as he spent the majority of a lifetime functioning under the man's wing and like it or not they are 'family'.
I hope that you continue to keep them in contact with each other, if only in passing.
Good story. Thank you for posting it.
(PS the formating for chapter 5 and chapter 7 seems to be screwy. Sometimes is very strange about that. They seem to have extra paragraph breaks...)
| GM Andy chapter 6 . 2/21/2008
Oh my... such a heavy chapter!
But I loved it.
The Doctor gets a taste of his own medicine for being such a child (and really it sets him right in the end, because he needed the reminder that he wasn't the only one hurting here).
This, I think is the defining moment where it shows how much the Doctor, post Time War, relies on his psychic connection to the TARDIS.
I discovered a reference you might be interested in: The Doctor is telepathic (the first doctor complains that as he's aged his abilities have weakened in "The Sensorites") and his type 40 is unusual in that she is strongly Telepathic/Empathic unlike later model TARDIS's (revealed in "The Edge of Destruction").
It's cool when a piece of fanfic, no matter how AU manages to dovetail into little facts from the first doctor's shows that moat people overlook.
| GM Andy chapter 5 . 2/21/2008
This chapter strikes be as a 'bridge' chapter, in that it is in a lull of sorts, a quiet time between activity bursts. It's very - (dare I say it?) Sweet - how the Brig interacts with his wife on the phone and then with the Doctor through his nightmares.
The reveal of him having lost everyone he was mentally connected to after hearing their mental screams is striking. It really hits home at this point exactly how wounded the Doctor is inside, and this foreshadows the next bit of interaction with the TARDIS nicely, because clearly something is holding his mind together, and it's not his own force of will at this point.
I absolutely adore how the Brig takes on a 'fatherly' role here in providing comfort. He knows the Doctor is older than he is, but in spite of this, the Brig has seen more combat and combat survivors than the Doctor (who has never before stuck around to see the aftermath if the revolts he's sparked to see how it impacts the psyche of those he inspires to fight), and he seems to instinctively know how to succor the hurt and show that someone not only cares but understands.
| GM Andy chapter 4 . 2/20/2008
I loved the interaction between Harry and the Brig and the Doctor over the stubborn refusal and following emotional breakdown.
The fact that the Brig knew exactly what to say to get a reaction, even though he didn't expect one as strong as he got is perfect. So like him to cut to the chase of the matter and hone in on exactly what needs to be said.
Harry knew the 4th Doctor, and the fact that he couldn't kill heartlessly, even when it was in his best interest to do so. His stunned reaction is just 'right' for what he knows about the Doctor.
And I can imagine that the first days or weeks after the fact that the 9th Doctor is going to be a bitter, depressed, fellow, cut adrift and unsure of how to cope, even though he knows he must find a way.
The end of the chapter, revealing that the TARDIS has been watching events unfold and how the humans are interacting with her Theta is a nice reminder that she might be quiet but she's still there.
And the foreshadowing for "Rose" is fantastic. Just... Are you adding in the Titanic visit, the stop to 1963 Dallas, and the other little reference to the 1880's in there anyplace? Or do you plan on those happening after he meets Rose?
| GM Andy chapter 3 . 2/20/2008
I had to read this chapter three times. The first time I was thrown by the Your/you're references. (I'm horrible, I know.)
Alistair's spoken line: "Your safe, your in the TARDIS."
should be: "Your safe. You're in the TARDIS."
Likewise the TARDIS's telepathic line: 'Your all I have left!'
should be: 'You're all I have left!'
Easy way to tell: try mentally replacing "your" with "you are" if it fits in the sentence then you need "you're" instead.
Ok, grammar lesson over.
Meaty chapter, Doctor's emotional state and his friends concern very well told (even the TARDIS's).
I've got no criticism for the bulk of the chapter, and there's nothing that strikes me as being out of character. I can, infact, picture both the Brig and Harry interacting with Doctor 9, quite easily based on your writing. Good job there.
If anything, I found myself wanting more. I think though you deliver in the next chapter, which I have yet to read.
For a Dour Doctor, number 9 is much more open then number 7, or even numbers 3 or 4.
And in the end I can see that the Doctor is forgiving the TARDIS for her 'betrayal' already. Kinds hard to stay truly angered at someone you've loved for 900 plus years, eh? Particularly since she clearly loves him back.
| GM Andy chapter 2 . 2/19/2008
Now when you mentioned that the TARDIS went to the home of a friend in the last chapter Retired Brigadier Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart was the last person I would have thought of. For me, Sarah Jane, or Dorothee (Ace), popped to mind (I don't know why, honest).
That said, Alistair is the perfect person for the TARDIS to go to because he has connections to people that can help her with this problem. Plus he's a constant in several parallel universes, so it makes great sense that he'd survive the Time War where as Dorothee might not have because of her decision to fight Daleks alongside the Doctor at various points of her personal history.
Harry Sullivan is another brilliant choice. He's got medical know-how and personally knows the Doctor.
Now for my single "wha-?" moment.
The TARDIS using a screen and English to ask for help is slightly out of character for her. She usually, in the series and books, is limited to manipulation of the internal environment so that it makes a series of puzzles or telepathy in order to communicate. Printed language might not be possible, or she'd have used it in the various occasions when her personal existence was threatened.
I could see her splicing recorded images to make the message clear, or her using various recorded sound bites of the Doctor's voice (from different incarnations even) to deliver the message.
I also think she would see him as "Brigadier" over "Alistair" but I know that there are several books where he make s an appearance and it's likely that she's learned to see him in a more personal light because of these instances.
I'm reading these chapters and letting the story digest before I review, so that's why you are getting them so far apart.
I liked this chapter aside from the use of a typed out message on the screen. I think you could get the point across by having the TARDIS lower the lights and open a door, leading him to the Doctor and then showing him the scenes of the war. Something like this would fit in with the TARDIS's character as seen in "Inside the Spaceship" If you have not seen this 1st doctor episode I can link you to a detailed summary of it.
| GM Andy chapter 1 . 2/17/2008
So here we have the TARDIS, last of her kind, with her Time Lord in a state of extreme distress and the White Guardian stepping in to assist.
I love how Order heals our very unique time machine. It's a wonderful scene showing the goodness of him.
I also love how the TARDIS grieves and tries to hide it from the Doctor even though he's being kept unconscious. Clearly she can tell that he needs her to be strong.
Now, this is after the second Time War (the one with the Daleks, while the first was against Faction Paradox), and really it feels like she's returning the favor because during the first Time War the Doctor was strong for her, holding her together so she could heal. That's a nice little inference even if you haven't intended it to be there.
Remember, Theta Sigma is a school nickname, not the name he was going by when he, um, acquired the old girl... Knowing this, the reference by her to him as Theta strikes me as - forced, perhaps? I mean, he's all but forgotten his real name by the point he steals her, having been exiled from Lungbarrow already and being forced to take a job he really does not like because his family continued to dog him with demands and accusations. It almost feels more natural to me for the TARDIS to think of him as 'Doctor'. But, then again you may have excellent reasons for the use of Theta (Or Thete) that I have yet to come across.
It might be nice to refer to his loss of his specific friends: Romana, Leela, her son who was his namesake, his family he was close to, Innocet ... If only because the TARDIS has met them and knows how much they meant to him... it would give further emotional thrust to his reasons why he might do what he's done as he believes they are all lost to him forever.
Also Check with the references I gave you: the Doctor's TARDIS is on of the very first, special 'events' that make her more intelligent, more emotional, and more alive than others of her ilk. So you have plenty of support for her taking things into her own hands - err - rooms? - and doing what she knows is best of all involved.
I better stop of this review will be longer than the chapter! Great opening for the story.
| MythStar Black Dragon chapter 7 . 1/30/2008
Loved it nice way to get from point a to ppoint b it was wonderful start.
| timano chapter 6 . 1/28/2008
An excellent story based on a clever idea. Powerful writing, too. 10 out of 10 stars.
| Kyer chapter 6 . 1/28/2008
Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it- if only for a terrifying moment.
One thing that the Doctor Who people have never done all these years is have an episode that explorers the Doctor's relationship with the Tardis. Rather sad that.
In fact, I'm trying to remember just when they started intimating that the Tardis was sentient at all. Certainly I remember Three saying something of the sort to Joe Grant, but before that? To Elizabeth Shaw? Second Doctor? First Doctor? A tragedy so many of their episodes ere destroyed by the BBC.
Afraid I don't do IM. Did years ago and it just created a mess, so I've vowed to steer clear. Feel free to PM anytime though.
| Kyer chapter 5 . 1/27/2008
This scene brought to mind a favorite one in the tv series Forever Knight where the main character had a waking dream that he was trapped in a dark city and the only color and life was taking place on tv screens-which he could not enter.
That's the closest I can think of what it is like for the Doctor now that his inner world is empty and the only stimulus comes from outside sources. Very sad.