Reviews for A Valentines Pas de Deux
Sara Winters chapter 1 . 3/31/2013
"If she's taking that good care of him, I'll rip her fucking face off."

lol And this is where I suggest Ginny is perhaps drunk enough to do another type of bonding if she isn't careful about her aim.
Deluxe Sugar Quills chapter 1 . 1/4/2009
I like this very much. I love that it was all dialouge - it was an interesting twist on things. One question though - how did Harry see people in the Room of Requirement? It's not on the map. Unless he saw them dissapear into it and not come out...

But it was a very good story. I enjoyed it. (:

Dramione Forever chapter 1 . 9/12/2008
I Loved it. Brillant Work well done :) .
Kore-of-Myth chapter 1 . 7/9/2008
I think this is a believable set of circumstances that could have happened in DH. I've never seen this style before - Rambling thoughts and dialogue only. I enjoyed it.

This line was brilliant: "-Your stunner makes your bat-bogies look like a love-peck.”

Ugh, I sound like notwritten...

Keep Writing!
fauves chapter 1 . 4/25/2008
That was a lovely story Christopher! Totally loved it. Totally totally loved it! :D Am faving!

WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot chapter 1 . 4/25/2008
Love Ginny drunk . . . love that they're far apart, Harry and Ginny are still thinking of each other.

I really liked the formatting, and use of dialogue pretty much as the lone storytelling device. THis was fab! And banter-y,

Favorite line: "Tent. Inside. Talk. Ron. Now. You." Harry . . . a man of such few words.

Sorry it's taken me a while to get to this. Great job.
Mistymist chapter 1 . 3/29/2008
ROFLMAO! I know it was probably not intended to be so funny or maybe it was but either way I loved it. xD

I just read this in the collbration on the the reveiwers lounge profile page but wanted to comment on it to you directly I hope thats ok.
Sandshrew777 chapter 1 . 2/14/2008
What a delightful idea to tackle this with an awareness that you will be relying primarily on dialogue. Since that's your premise, I'll focus mostly on that.

You've got this so Brit-picked that I stand in awe, first of all. I can't even come close to that kind of casual British dialogue, so well done.

I did think that there were some awkward phrases and words here and there. Some examples: "What’s got you out and about on Valentines Day of all days, anyway, and in the Common room of all places?"; "And with us not having any food"; "staring at a wee dot roam around a map". They're all fine phrases for certain characters, but not any of these. They're still young adults, and these kinds of phrasings are just too elevated for their tongues right now.

Otherwise, I think the naturality of your dialogue really carries, especially with the emphasis on sex that you apply. It contrasts nicely with the concept of love interwoven into this piece, and shows us that very "teenagerish" way of thinking that works on every level. Clearly your greatest strength here, and obviously so since you decided to make it the focus of the piece.

I think you hit a Drunk!Ginny with amazing intensity and focus. That's tricky. I'm surprised you decided to make Colin a playboy along with Neville...I would think that responsibility would go to Seamus. (J.K. puts him in Hogwarts, I think, but he *is* a half-blood...hmm. I can't remember my canon, but if he's there, it might have been an idea for you to go for, even if it's been done before.) It doesn't mean that I didn't like it, it's just that the justification, for Colin, was a little bit lacking. It seems like a break of his personality, at least to me, although I do understand Neville's appeal.

The conversations between the Trio are your greatest by far. Each of them uses overcasuality to try and push forward a stronger meaning, and I quite enjoy that. (That's not the exact phrasing I want, but it'll do.)

On the aesthetic side, there are some mishaps. First, it's Parvati. Second, it's Totalus, not Totalis. Third, Neville would be unable to speak were he hit with the Full-Body Bind.

Also, you jumble around, chronologically, the acquisition of the soup, and I was completely confused when, in the context of your story, that happened.

But these problems I had are minor, and of little consequence to the story as a whole. I truly enjoyed myself and was quite entertained with your witty, but intelligent, choices throughout.

Stellar work.

Keep writing!
Cassandra's Cross chapter 1 . 1/28/2008
I reviewed this on the RL challenge page, but I wanted to do it here too. This was bloody brilliant, Chris. I really think it's your best yet. You combine humor and angst in such a creative way. I can't say enough about this piece. Bravo, bravo, bravo!
DebbieO chapter 1 . 1/27/2008
This isn't really my particular cup of tea. I prefer the fluffy, sappy, melodramatic tales of our hero and his beloved. You have my permission to gag. However, this was crisp and funny and had it's moments.
Artemis942 chapter 1 . 1/26/2008
This was so sweet. Its refreshing to hear Ginny's point of view about the war and what she was going through back at Hogwarts while the Trio was gone. It was also funny as hell...loved that bit about Neville and Creevey.
HinaLuvLuvChan chapter 1 . 1/26/2008
that was such a nice story