|Reviews for Stranger|
| Guest chapter 6 . 2/21
Oh, so it was Gabriella who cheated first. Okay, now I'm on Troy's side. Or, was it a misinterpretation? I honestly can't believe Gabriella! Who goes on a d8 with a guy u made out with when u were drunk? He could be bad! I'm really liking this story so far! Can't w8 2 read more!
| telitubbiees chapter 1 . 11/29/2009
this is probably one of my favorite storys on fanfiction ]
| SkyeGavin chapter 26 . 3/13/2009
Here is a list of conducts that should always be observed:
1. Spell check all stories and poems. There is no excuse for not doing this. If you do not have a word processor that has the spell checking feature, use a search engine such as to find one.
2. Proofread all entries for grammar and other aspects of writing before submission. 'Hot off the press' content is often riddled with errors. No one is perfect but it is the duty of the writer to perform to the best of his/her ability.
5. Use proper textual formatting. For example: using only capital letters in the story title, summary, or content is not only incorrect but also a disregard for the language itself.
Entries Not allowed:
Non-stories: lists, bloopers, polls, previews, challenges, author notes, and etc. (Author note chapters)
| YouxBettaxWork chapter 2 . 9/30/2008
OK, so the key to a story is having great grammar work and plot line. I see where you're going with the plot, but your grammar; the worse I've seen in my life. This needs lots of puntuation and capitalization. Like here in the flashback. It says:
"yeah well you better believe it" i replied back I leaned and kissed him which he gracefully kissed back.
we finally stopped kissing
you know Gabi I wouldn't want to be with anyone else but you know I love you so much he replied
"how much" I asked
"this big" he says putting his arms wide open
"thats not enough" I pouted
"well then this big no wait actually its like The whole wide world thats how much big I love you" he replied grinning
"just promise me one thing"
"what?" he asked clueless
just promise me that youll never hurt me" I answered sitting on his lap
It really should be:
"Yeah, well you better believe it," I replied back, kissing him on the lips with love which he gracefully return.
We pulled back with smiles on our faces.
You know Gabi, I wouldn't want to be with anyone else but you know. I love you so (I think that one 'O' is enough) much," he replied.
"How much?" I asked
"This much," he said, spreading his arms wide open
"That's not enough," I pouted.
"Well then, this big," he said. "No wait, actually it's the whole wide world," he said, changing his mind. "That's how much I love you," he replied grinning.
"Just promise me one thing?"
"What?" he asked clueless.
"Just promise me that you'll never hurt me," I answered sitting on his lap.
"you know what stop acting like a baby and also stop trying to make me unhappy" he snapped
I gaped at him "excuse me"
"yeah thats right your always making me unhappy" Troy spat out angrily
"how could you say that Troy im the one who's putting effort into our marriage" I yelled upset
Troy snickered "im trying too... ya know you what Gabriella sometimes your really stubborn"
"yeah right your always flirting with girls even when im in the same room sometimes you could be a cold heartless man that doesnt Do anything but flirt and check out girls" I screamed at the top of my lungs
Which, of course, really should be:
"You know what? Stop acting like a baby. And also, stop trying to make me unhappy," he snapped.
I gaped at him ."Excuse me?"
"Yeah, that's right. Your always making me unhappy," Troy spat out angrily.
"How could you say that Troy? I'm the one who's putting effort into our marriage," I yelled.
Troy snickered. "I'm trying to. You know you what, Gabriella? Sometimes you're really stubborn."
"Yeah right your always flirting with girls even when I'm in the same room. Sometimes, you could be a cold heartless man that doesn't do anything but flirt and check out girls," I said, screaming at the top of my lungs at him.
You see where I'm going with this? And doesn't this look so much better than that crap called 'grammar' that you had up hear. I suppose you could've written them a few different ways though. But everybody make mistakes right? No But what I wrote is more book material than that. And all the review you've been getting saying that they love you story, they're miss using the reviewing feature. This cleary states at the bottom that you should comment on the aspect of the story that can be improved. So everyone else saying that stuff like 'ONG I love this story!' or 'Please make another' obviously don't kow what they're reading.
I think fanfiction is the first step of becoming a writer. But if you have some crap like this, do you think the people that have it published would ever get through the first two pages? Now if you answer yes, then that's just what you WANT you think. If you answer no, you're finally getting the idea of actually writing a story, because I'm pretty sure that 'dat,' 'dis,' and 'wat' aren't words. Seriously, your story could get reported because of so many grammar mistakes.
| It's Tori That's It chapter 25 . 7/19/2008
| Vaderlicious chapter 25 . 7/17/2008
Seriously, YOU. NEED. TO. USE. PUCTUATION!
I kid you not, it looks freaking stupid.
XOXO, rock on!
| samanta1024 chapter 25 . 7/17/2008
The end was rushed though
I loved your story
Can't wait to read another!
| 719.take.my.hand.719 chapter 25 . 7/15/2008
great ending. i loved this story
| beachblondi101 chapter 24 . 7/10/2008
WOAH! WHAT HAPPENED? UPDATE SON!
| EvenIfTheSkyIsFallingDown chapter 24 . 7/8/2008
Please make it Troy being delusional because of how tired he is! Or hime dreaming. If not I will be very very very very angry!
| edward0luvs0bella chapter 1 . 7/8/2008
that would be funny if it was gabriella's cousin vanessa HUDGENS and her and Zac were making out!PLESAE DON'T MAKE THEM BRAKE UP
| samanta1024 chapter 24 . 7/8/2008
Say it's not so lol
There's got to be some mistake lol
| liveinlove60 chapter 24 . 7/7/2008
i love it, but i don't make them brake up please.
| Vaderlicious chapter 24 . 7/7/2008
Very stupid chappie...no offense
XOXO, rock on!
P.S. YOU. STILL. NEED. TO. USE. PUNCTUATION!
| DROWN IN LIFE chapter 24 . 7/7/2008
I love this story,
I got some ideas though
for this making out part make Gabriella either sleeping, or her thinking it's troy. but I like the 1st one better, because I read in the news once about a woman in a hotel room, who woke up naked to a man on top of her naked. Yeah I like that!
Well I hope you like my idea