|Reviews for Irregularity|
| RainbowHeart chapter 4 . 11/20/2012
The very first chapter was awesome. Everything else after was cool too...the ending was ...uh, never thought of that. But I did like how it's a happy ending! :D :D So. LOVE IT!
| Ysavvryl chapter 4 . 6/27/2010
Given this is an older work, your style probably has shifted. But here’s some things to note.
This sentence: ‘It was obvious to X, and X was far easier to read than Zero and Zero had as much practice at reading X as X had with him.’ is awkwardly put together ‘as they knew each other so well’ would probably work better.
One thing that keeps running through my mind is that while X and Zero are talking, some parts of it might be quite awkward for the others around them to be witnessing/hearing (especially as they’re co-workers….).
Here: ‘"The virus. It was meant to link to me. I don't remember, so when I did, even for an instant, it worked the way it was supposed to." So much sorrow, he was so very sorry, and X did not want him to feel this way. He moved forward, this time determined not to let Zero move away or escape this. He would not lose his friend.’
I would split up that paragraph personally. You’ve got two POVs running at once, so it’s most helpful to the reader if inner thoughts and outer actions stick with the one speaking. For instance, Zero speaks here, but X is the one thinking and moving. It should be Zero’s spoken words, then any of his actions/unspoken thoughts, with the next paragraph shifting to X (unless Zero’s POV needs to continue). Otherwise, you’re blending the two characters (which actually works later on when they’re mental-viral connected, but not here pre-infection).
No one wanted to have to slap Zero, so he was obeyed. –you might want to stick an ‘again’ in here.
I found the part where X realized that he was jealous of Iris having Zero pretty funny, after all that angsty drama. The romance bits are sweet without being overly so. Overall, the emotions are done pretty well throughout.
From way later, in part 3: ‘”He can't do not do it now that he knows this is possible.”’ I think that first ‘do’ in there is unnecessarily making this harder to read.
Can Omega (and therefore Zero) make his new body out of thin air? Cause it seemed like that. Omega says he wasn’t awake until Zero remembered, but then he was right there in the secured quarantine room, with an invisibility shield and ability to evade other detection by security. And it’s not an illusionary body since he and Zero interact physically with others in that body. But then Sigma always managed to rebuild himself with crazy new powers/forms every time he died. Then again, it does add to the creepy factor. Leaving it unexplained helps keep some mystery of it/them intact. (he can also produce Sigma’s head out of nowhere! Extra creepy!)
The pseudo-science bits look reasonable (aside from that last point, maybe); I’m not too deep into science, so I’m not the best judge of that. The ending is quite fluffy, but it works very nicely (and there’s no reason to remove Zero in a kilt talking about X’s teddy bear collection…. hehe).
As I said before, I really liked this one!
| Trickstar chapter 1 . 7/29/2008
Why does this not have more attention? It's five am and I'm still sitting here squeeing over this even after rereading it three or four times.
Also. Zero in a skirt-ahem, kilt? -dies laughing-
| Kitty chapter 1 . 3/7/2008
Hands down the best story I have read on this site!
| Imbri of the Moon chapter 1 . 2/13/2008
I should really squee over this more but it's... kept me up until 5 am and that should tell you just about everything you need to know.
Technobable makes my head spin, but I'm a sucker for fluffy X and Zero fics. Especially with happy endings. And plots that lead to them. XD So this was a nice treat.
| Leoth chapter 1 . 2/1/2008
_ Zomg, awesomeness.
Haha, I have a sudden urge to draw X fanart with a bunch of teddies now X3.