Reviews for Valentine's Gift
twlightbella chapter 1 . 4/20/2013
Aww Katie Bell and George Weasley are married and Katie has their son on Valentine's day.
sleepy queens chapter 1 . 8/24/2009
Aw, so adorable.
meiscool2 chapter 1 . 11/15/2008
agin so sweet, so touching, i can't help but marvel at your writting skills!

meiscool2
respitechristopher chapter 1 . 4/25/2008
Very, very touching. A bit grammatically rough around the edges, but the prose was so lovely that that barely registered. I also always thought the twins would be the biggest romantics as they got older - glad to see I'm not the only one!

-Christopher
Sandshrew777 chapter 1 . 2/14/2008
Some grammatical/continuity things to tell you about, first of all:

1. To/too/two

When it's in addition to something, the word is 'too'. When it's a prepositional phrase, i.e. 'to the bathroom', it's 'to'. ;)

2. Run-ons

When you feel like you've made a whole point, eat the comma and regurgitate a period in its place. :)

3. 'Bell'

I know it's a nod to your dialogue later on, in the flashbacks, but it just confused me that early on in the story. I would rather have had them leave out the last names, or just have George say 'Katie Weasley'.

That's done! Let's move on to the rest of this!

1. Characterization

You open with humor, and with some cliched pregnant stuff, but it doesn't matter. It's funny, and it's cute, and it makes us want to keep reading. We want to see more of your wit, and it comes across nicely time after time. A good, smart start.

Katie seems to be given roundness here, but you actually give George the focus of the characterization. Katie's understanding of George allows her a depth, but George goes deeper with his insights (the rose, the box of chocolates, the worrying) than Katie does. If you were to improve upon this, I would ask that you spend some narration time on Katie (not too much more...a couple paragraphs would do it!) to get her up to snuff. She's not lacking terribly right now, but she just pales in comparison to George, y'know? I still love what you've done with 'em both, though.

2. Plotline

You start chronologically, then break to a flashback, then return us. The insertion of the flashback made things a little awkward, from a reading perspective, but I wasn't sure where you should have put it. It almost seemed like a symbiotic being, with its (masterful) repeated themes and details. It was a nod to George's characterization and is what overbalanced my earlier point into George's favor. I love it, but I'm just not sure you've got it in the right place as of yet, or if it even belongs as it is. Maybe you could break up the scenes and shove them in in different spots?

Anyway, I love the couch to date to hospital idea. It's casual, a little predictable, but still lovely and nicely executed. :)

3. Tone

*goes to fetch the ball that got launched into a ballpark on the other side of the country*

Need I say more? (I guess I shall.)

You hit a home run. Katie's dialogue is strong and acerbic. George's is charming and sweet. The Healer gets things done with an adequate bedside manner. Narration all hits things home with expediency and a nostalgic reflection.

To wrap things up, while you do use ideas that have been executed time and time again, you give them some new life here that I think turns this one-shot from cliched into original. Try branching out into the unusual (like those gnomes dancing in to the wedding!) and I think you'll find some even stronger stuff.

Great work!

Keep writing.
WeezeyTwin chapter 1 . 2/8/2008
Wow, this was just so incredibly amazing. Exactly what I needed to pick me up. I'm actually sitting in Kentucky right now, and I just got back from my Grandma's funeral. I was debating on whether or not I wanted to get on, and I'm so glad that I did.

This is incredibly beautiful, and has reminded me that for every bad thing that happens in life, a incredible thing comes along to replace it, Which, by the way, seems to fit right along with the theme of this story.

Anyway, great job, as usual, and thanks again for writing this. Sometimes I feel like you write specifically for me. It's kind of scary, actually, but still amazing.

Love the George/ Katie pairing by the way. I think that you should try to do a chapter one with them.

Lots of love

WeezeyTwin
DanceFairies chapter 1 . 2/2/2008
aww that is such a cute fic! You have to write more Katie/George. I love this fic and i love the choice of names for the baby.

Fav moment has to be “WE’RE PREGNANT?" lol just great

and I love the idea of the moments

xx
carpolean chapter 1 . 2/1/2008
so sweet!
everly chapter 1 . 1/30/2008
Oh this was so cute. I teared up at the very end, the line 'This is one of those moments' is really great. I also liked how you had Katie suggest both of the names that are on the family tree JK released, even if he did marry Angelina.

-everly
fairyp80 chapter 1 . 1/30/2008
Very sweet...I especially liked the herd of garden gnomes...hahahaha