|Reviews for Suits|
| Mantinas chapter 2 . 4/11/2009
| FluffyBiscuits chapter 2 . 11/12/2008
Here's a imaginery cookie for a good chapter.
| FluffyBiscuits chapter 1 . 11/12/2008
| Obelisk of Light chapter 2 . 8/1/2008
Tee hee! Cute romance; I especially love the ending. XD
Great characterisation, as always. I can visualise a pen-chewing Gohan and an irritated Piccolo perfectly, and I can't detect any OOCness at all. Piccolo being pissed and tempted at the same time is an irresistible combination. ;) I love the rivalry with Vegeta too.
You have some technical errors here and there; I'll point them out for you:
"I don't understand this dam(n) kid."
This one's a typo.
"You loose the argument if you let you mind wander off in that direction. You start thinking about his lips too much and you loose focus and then he gets you to cave in every time."
Homonym confusion here; you should use "lose," not "loose."
"It’s really not(,} Pic."
The comma makes one hell of a difference here because Gohan's talking to him, not about him.
"Gohan, I said I was sorry, but I'm not going to some human food roast(-)"
The dash is appropriate here because Piccolo is interrupted by Gohan.
"Does that involve going more than five feet(?)"
Well, that's it. I think this chapter's better than the last one; Piccolo has more depth. Good job, Velasa!
| Space-Weazel chapter 2 . 7/30/2008
Ei I love this story. I've loved it since the first time I read it on the P-Gh community! I honestly never thought of a situation that involved a pen oO but damnit, you did a spectacular job. OO please write more of this kind of thing, I'm absolutely, positively in love with it!
| Space-Weazel chapter 1 . 7/10/2008
This is another one of your short stories that I liked a lot. Heaven knows I'm not a fan of comedies, much less romantic comedies (I must be the only female in the world to say this) but I found this cute. It wasn't excessive or pushy like a lot of the other Piccohan fluff stories are. I thank you for that. The last thing I wanted to read was "They looked longingly into eachothers eyes and in that moment could feel their hearts beating as one in eternal bliss." Bleck. I respect the normal relationship you've set up between them. Not sappy, not emo, just... natural
| specialbeamwriter chapter 1 . 6/14/2008
ooh continue continue continue CONTINUE please. A!
| Norwegian Eyes chapter 1 . 2/1/2008
;) yay I'm glad people read and reviewed your fic! No one has with mine. *sniff sniff* The next challenge is going to start on March 1. Yay!
| Amiko-san chapter 1 . 1/31/2008
Very cute, humorous too. I liked it!
| Volcanic chapter 1 . 1/30/2008
Cute! Now off to read the other fic you posted
| Obelisk of Light chapter 1 . 1/30/2008
Aww! Very cute and fluffy! I don't read Piccolo/Gohan very often but this caught my eye. It's as IC as it can get for a Piccolo/Gohan shounenai fic, and you have good spelling and grammar.
There are a few technical errors too; I'll point them out for you:
He’s not suppose(d) to be uncomfortable, he’s the damn deamon king.
You might want to be careful - G rated fics aren't supposed to contain even mild language. You might want to up the rating a little, just in case. Being a title, "Demon King" should be capitalised.
The nameccian’s glare redirects to the bathroom mirror
"nameccian" is supposed to be "Namekian"; the first letter of race names is always capitalised.
Stupid godsdamned human clothes-
Again, you might want to be careful here, because the G-D word is strong language. I don't mind strong language in a story - it would be hypocritical to do so, having used it myself - but I'd up the rating, just in case.
All in all, this is a very cute and well-written story.