|Reviews for Exile|
| Guest chapter 4 . 8/2
He didn't know jack sqat about love I love that!
| DemonSlayerGod chapter 22 . 3/28
Wow, I'm really impressed with your writing. Like this is professional novel style writing, something that I will have to work really hard to come close to.
The characters were well thought out and planned, although Deoxys's inclusion seemed a LITTLE bit rushed, other than that they were each unique and flushed.
The plot was sublime and something you don't see everyday. I hadn't expected Terotrey to have been the real mastermind, although a bit of personal back story would have been nice, like during a rant or a flashback. Maybe I missed that I don't know.
I wish I could personally shake your hand at how well this was written and I loved every part of it. Especially since Darkrai and Cresselia are one of, if not my very favorite pairing.
Truth be told I had read this months ago on my phone, but I wanted to write a thorough review via my laptop.
Keep on writing and I wish you all the luck in the future.
| Imperator Justinian chapter 22 . 3/20
And, done. I have to say; I agree with many of the other reviews that this should be a movie (or a trilogy, considering it would have to cut out a lot of important stuff to squeeze into two and a half hours). That also brings up the question of what Pokémon would be like if it actually hired authors like you, Silver Umbra, Quaystor, Coli Chibi, ARCEUS-master, etc. to write the show, specials and movies. Eh, I'm getting off topic.
Overall, this story was incredibly satisfying and a wonderful read. The message of redemption was good, and the ending was incredibly satisfying with how Raikou got the Legendaries to see their own faults. And while I like how Raikou was able to return as a Legendary, I loved that Heatran turned down the offer and opted to rather carry on unrewarded, which really summarizes his entire character development.
It was nice to see Bouldarin and Atsila make amends, and Giovanni was returned to his position. Though you never really directly addressed the robotic Pokémon who are probably still on the loose or in Team Rocket's custody, I doubt Giovanni has any desire to use them or pursue then due to them being made by Terotrey. Though Jeff and Skyler were the comic relief of the story (and hilarious comic relief at that), I would actually say that Darkrai and Cresselia could contest that as every scene the two are in together is either funny, sweet or both.
The thing I probably loved the most about this story, was probably the character everyone else hated. Sure, the old additive stands up; "A hero's a hero but everyone loves a good villain", but I would say Terotrey was borderline anti-villain. He was still evil, as demonstrated brilliantly throughout the story, but his intentions were good, no matter how twisted the thought process behind them, and he was right about many of the things he said, even if he was horribly wrong in the way he addressed them. He was developed brilliantly, up until his transformation, sympathetic, and had me conflicted over his message. Though it was clear that Raikou and Co. were the good guys, there was no absolutely clear just cause in the story because of Terotrey (up until he became the sin Legendary, that is). To summarize; you did a brilliant job of writing him.
Given the nature of this story, and how well it was concluded, I highly the possibility of any sequel. But, given the statement at the beginning of the chapter about how humans have previously tried to use Legendaries (Pokémon Conquest comes to mind), I think that's enough mythos there to make this compatible with established canon and expound upon it at the same time. But that's just my musings. Again; you did an incredible job with this story, and I'm glad to have been able to read and review every chapter of it.
| Imperator Justinian chapter 21 . 3/20
The battle was everything I thought it was, and then some. It was incredible; the all the action you managed to insert without it being overwhelming, the tense emotions that it managed to produce, and how fluid you managed to make it. I also loved all the symbolism you managed to slip into the battle, how the desert dimension could represent how bleak and hopeless the situation looked, and how the final phase of the battle ended up in something that strongly resembled Hell itself, and how the lava consumed Terotrey like furious rage, power and madness before it.
But perhaps my favorite part was that the battle wasn't just a ceaseless back and forth. It's wasn't Raikou and Darkrai unleashing a ceaseless amount of attacks only to continually get brushed aside, rather they thought and fought strategically and tactically, attempting to destroy the source of Terotrey's power and using it against him rather than relying on their own. And, finally, after everything that has happened, I can't wait to see how you send this off.
| Imperator Justinian chapter 20 . 3/19
Darkrai knows about Bill Rogers? Now that I think about it, wasn't he Drew's voice actor in addition to Brock's? Seriously; what's with all the Drew references?
Okay, I have to admit that was a really clever way to use the Mechanical Pokémon's strength. You built them up as these unstoppable forces that can take down what would equate as gods with sufficient numbers, and with the exception of a few times or superior numbers, they were pretty much unstoppable. Really, I was expecting you to show some weakness in them that Raikou and Co. could exploit, but turning them against Terotrey after he became a God was a really clever move too, both in the story and in writing the story. And, given that Terotrey no longer holds all the essences, I suppose he won't be completely invincible now.
I'm really looking forward to the final trans-dimensional showdown.
| Imperator Justinian chapter 19 . 3/19
This chapter was incredible. It started out with a great battle, vivid, distinct and even displaying character as it showed said characters fighting. Jeff and Skyler's portion was hilarious as always, and I had no trouble imagining the scene that followed.
Now, the real focus of this chapter was perfectly executed. It showed the horrors of Terotrey's experiment, a taste of what would come if he were not stopped, and the intimidating, foreboding feel that you described in the room helped set up the impending storm. Heck, even having Terotrey wait for Raikou to come rather than just activate his device and join the battle shows how far off the deep end he's gone, and how much rage he really has, and how it blinds him that everything he does is contrary to his own ultimate goals. I can't wait to see how Raikou and Co. manage to overcome him.
| Imperator Justinian chapter 18 . 3/18
I love the irony of the last sentence. Had Terotrey not been so hasty and brutally brushed aside everything in his path, chances were that Raikou would only have half the army he had right now, if one at all.
You did a very good job of using this chapter to set up the feeling for the next. This is the clam before the storm, both emotionally, literally and figuratively, and it was great seeing everyone make their peace with things and try to enjoy their last few moments before the battle. In more disciplined armies, I'm sure they wouldn't show it like this, but I'm certain they'd still be feeling the doubt, hesitation and fear at what awaited ahead, and especially so if the stakes were this high. A very good job in this chapter.
| Imperator Justinian chapter 17 . 3/17
Ironic that Darkrai was the first to succumb to Terotrey.
Mewtwo's dream was definitely more than just that, but it was pretty obvious given everything you've been hinting throughout Terotrey's appearances. Still, they don't know that so I guess it's a good way to induce that sense of foreboding in them as well.
Anyways, I can't wait for the upcoming battle.
| Imperator Justinian chapter 16 . 3/17
Jeff was hilarious as usual, and it's good to see that both Deoxys and Mewtwo are getting some more character development. Heatran's story was a very good way to convey the moral of this story to Raikou. Personally I think this chapter might have done better if merged with the previous, but I still enjoyed it none the less.
| Imperator Justinian chapter 15 . 3/17
Well, I wasn't expecting Heatran to be the other exile. But, since he's pretty much the legendary that everyone forgets, I don't see why not either.
I really wish you would have made a Seinfeld reference when having Jeff talk about bad finales. Still good inside jokes, though.
| Imperator Justinian chapter 14 . 3/16
Ah, my original hunch was right about their being another exile. I'm guessing it's Giratina.
Well, Terotrey's gone off the deep end, it seems. Still, this was an incredible chapter. You didn't just reveal his motivations, but the motivation behind the motivation, the madness that stemmed from it and fueled it, and the messed up thought process behind it as well.
But, another thing you've done very well is making Terotrey a sympathetic villain. He's nuts, makes a bunch of mechanical monstrosities to capture the Legendaries and wants to become a god, and I frankly feel like slugging him right now, but you've also shown that he isn't entirely evil. Crazy, maybe, but not evil.
He's clearly a bad guy, but he's right; the Legendaries aren't doing their jobs properly. I disagree when he says that their shouldn't be any evil, but I agree when he says the Legends are causing more harm than good with their petty squabbles. And I have a feeling that the second example of the world falling apart is a bit more personal than he wants it to seem, which could possibly have explained his madness.
Overall, you've managed to reveal just enough about Terotrey to show multiple dimensions to him in just one chapter, but kept out just enough information to let the reader do the rest of the thinking and expand those dimensions in multiple, perhaps unintended, directions. And those dimensions end up making me feel like I know Terotrey through and through, and yet know nothing about him either. I still know he needs to be stopped, because if he succeeds the power would probably corrupt any good intentions he has left and he'd either become completely mad or a tyrant, but I can't help but feel that he's in the right at best, and deserving of sympathy at worst.
Saying just 'well done' can't put what you've done here to justice.
| Imperator Justinian chapter 13 . 3/16
This had to be one of my favorite chapters. You really managed to flesh out the brother dynamic between Atsila and Bouldarin, and though you've shown that they managed to smooth things over, neither are still entirely ready to forgive each other. And though Atsila is the wiser of the two, he also seems to share in Bouldarin's hardheadedness (family connection), whereas Bouldarin seems to be mature enough to apologize. Very well done.
The little interaction between Flame and Shadow was funny too. Can't really say much more.
And when you hear a high, laidback, surfer-dude Roselia say they want someone's head on a Pike, that means heads are about to roll. It just might not be the intended one.
| Imperator Justinian chapter 12 . 3/15
So, pretty much just a fluff chapter. Not that I minded, it's been a while since we've seen Darkrai and, despite the main point of his chapter being that he finally confessed to Cresselia, it offered another good look into his psyche and dying hope. Not to mention the fact that if I was stuck in a cage for a few days with nothing to do but stare at walls or daydream, chances are I'd have plenty opportunities to think about my feelings for a counterpart, and because of that, this scene felt perfectly timed. I'm not really certain if Darkrai, like Arceus, has a mouth, but Entei's interjection was funny enough that it made it moot.
| Imperator Justinian chapter 11 . 3/15
Though Bouldarin was hard-headed, he doesn't seem to be particularly unintelligent, as shown by how quickly he managed to connect the dots, which is a nice distinction, and will hopefully help pave the way to reconciliation with his brother.
I'll admit that I didn't expect you to let Suicune get captured so soon, but I suppose it will serve as a good driving force to push Raikou to overcoming the inevitable obstacle of the mechanical Pokémon. I just hope that you show some weakness to them soon, seeing as they are a bit over powered.
| Imperator Justinian chapter 10 . 3/14
So, the Rhydon and Charizard are brothers? There's a story in that in of itself.
Now, the way you started this chapter was brilliant. The vivid descriptions, the ominous, foreboding feel that they managed to conjure as our heroes walked through a dark and forbidding forest so they could reach the haven of a barbaric tribe of ground types was perfectly executed and completely immersed me, even with Jeff and Skyler.
And, again if memory serves, La'Rousse is where Drew's from. Is it possible... no.