Reviews for Number Twenty Eight
Skitty Kat Girl chapter 3 . 2/1/2008
Wow this is very dark...

Waah poor Edo! T_T
Deletedaccountk chapter 3 . 2/1/2008
Oh. This story is so pleasantly creepy. The atmosphere you set up of Edward being an "abomination"/"evil" presence was very right, for he is a chimera. I'm very interested in where you're trying to bring this plot.

I do hope it turns out good. :3

Love, Curse.
starshine chapter 3 . 2/1/2008
Believe it or not, I actually checked your profile YESTERDAY wondering about that couple of months of silence... Wanted to drop a line, than decided I shouldnt pester. Ho-ho.

Ill start by saying that I wasnt inmediately enthusiastic at the chimera thing - like some other storylines, it has been incredibly abused by all kinds of bad writers. But I do have great faith in you, and once again it wasnt misplaced. As always, I enjoy the quality of the language you use, and the ease with which you set the mood in your stories. But what definitely sets this particular story apart is the "risks" you take (in the good sense of the word), calling forth delicate themes such as eutanasia. I like your take on this so far: you discuss it in a grim way, but do not voice pushy and rigid opinions. Also, portraing of Ed as a less-thinking, dog-minded creature as opposed to the easer choice to describe a chimera as a human mind in a beastly body (which is, of late, canon in the manga) is an interesting decision and loaded with all kinds of potential angst I cant wait to read about. Sincerely, I enjoy Roy-angst the most, but I wouldnt be able to stomach him in this situation. Suffering over Ed is quite enough for him at the moment.

Three hoorays (whatever the spelling) for you return!
Velkyn Karma chapter 3 . 2/1/2008
Wow, updates already? Well, I'm not going to complain.

Anyway! Pretty good additions to this fic. I love the fact that a few other characters are coming into play now. Your interpretation of Maes is always interesting, and again it seems spot-on here. No doubt he'd dislike what happened to Ed, or the possibility of having to put him to sleep if Roy can't figure out how to fix him. The poor guy just wants to give Ed a little comfort and he can't even do that, I really feel for him.

The Ed and Roy interactions here are especially interesting. I really love the fact that Roy wants to help, fix, and take care of Ed, but at the same time he can't stand to be around him because of that "taboo aura." It really adds another dimension to this fic that most Chimera!Ed fics, again, can't really seem to capture.

I also enjoy the way Roy's conflicting emotions over Ed's status are described. The way he tries to comfort him by petting him like a dog-only to remind himself that he isn't one. Or the way he wants to smack that vet around, only to remind himself that she doesn't realize what Ed really IS. Some little details here and there, but they really do add to this whole story.

Last scene was both adorable and bittersweet. Poor Ed! I sincerely wish Roy the best of luck in future chapters.

Again, only spotted one error, probably a typo; when Roy is laying Ed down on the couch and telling him to stay put his name becomes "Rot" for a minute. Easily fixable. Everything else looked great.

I wish you luck with the next chapters! I'm looking forward to future updates.

~Velkyn Karma
GreyLiliy chapter 3 . 2/1/2008
I don't think I realized before just how much like a dog Edward looked like- not to mention, if he was enough Dog to fool a vet I'm almost surprised that Roy recognized him so quickly, or at all.

Regardless, it was nice to see Ed picked up and the joke about him liking Roy was a treat. As well as the snuggle there towards the end- both the event itself and Roy's mixture of repulsion and compassion.

Looking forward to more, thanks!
jenelric chapter 3 . 2/1/2008
Another excellent story! I've read quite a few Chimera!Ed, this is just so amazing! It totally creeps me out at points...because yes, it's just evil...but God, it's amazing. Awesome job so far! I can't find out what happens!

*tear shed for Ed*-poor guy :(
GreyLiliy chapter 2 . 2/1/2008
Ah, had a feeling that the only alternative would be as such; poor Roy. But he's handling it well, which is a good thing.

I feel more sorry for Maes since he's outnumbered. Either way, on to chapter 3!
KatsyKat chapter 3 . 2/1/2008
Wow. Incredibly intense. I love Roy's introspection on the uneasy feeling of being near Ed as a Chimera. His grief is very well done - I can't wait to see what happens when AL comes back. Oh my gosh - the horror. Great job!
Bar-Ohki chapter 3 . 2/1/2008
Poor Edo, poor Roy...
masterframes chapter 3 . 2/1/2008
its really really creepy, but i can't stop reading! Love ya, love your fics. can't wait to see what happens. its dark and you have my interest.
Bar-Ohki chapter 1 . 2/1/2008
Oh wow! This is an awesome story!
Velkyn Karma chapter 1 . 2/1/2008
Ah, and it's good to see another fantastic story up by an equally fantastic author.

First of all, love the premise. The Chimera!Ed fics are a bit overdone, but they're all overdone rather poorly. Everyone likes to think about how oh-so-cute Ed would look with cat ears and a tail, but nobody regards the chimera transformation like it actually would be...a gruesome, cruel mess, just like it was for Nina. You have immediately taken it to that level, and for that I congratulate you.

As always, you spare no expense to be realistic with your descriptions, something I've always enjoyed about your writing. If it's gross, you make sure we know it. The descriptions of the chimera results, even the rank location, are superb.

Characterization is a bit hard to get into in this one. Considering Ed has never been a chimera in canon, it's hard to say how he would react. It seems to fit him well enough though...what's left of him outside the dog mind.

I found it extraordinarily ironic that some phrases used between Roy and Ed were quite comparable to Nina and Tucker. "That's very good," as well as the name repetition. Deliciously creepy, and it adds another sense of horror to the situation. You would think Ed could remember that, having been there, but now HE'S the one repeating words and names. It's very odd.

Only noticed one mistake, at the very end when Roy is talking to Ed. "Shh... you’re okay... just me take you home, alright?” I'm assuming the word "let" should be in there, to make it "Just let me take you home, alright?" Other than that though, nice use of language as always.

I'm curious to see where you're going with this next. Good luck with writing and updates!

~Velkyn Karma
Corkboard chapter 1 . 2/1/2008
This is an amazing story...

Is it a beginning or will this be continued?

Awesome anyway
KatsyKat chapter 1 . 2/1/2008
Oh wow. Brilliantly played. I LOVE your action scenes they're so real and stuffed full of details it's wonderful! Eds trying to kill himself is a very nice touch - I like how you do the transition to his animalistic nature. :D I can't wait to see where you take this story!
TayloWolf chapter 1 . 2/1/2008
A second read-through and all I can say is that... it's even better than I remember. xD Still can't wait for chapter three (wow, that feels slightly odd to say, seeing as the first one was just posted), but I'm glad that you've started posting the fic here. Now I can read without the lag that Lj gives me.

:) Keep it up!
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